DISCLAIMER: The story, and characters and anything and everything
else concerning SG: SG1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions
etc, they are so not mine and no money is being made from this and
no copyright infringement is intended.
SEQUEL/SERIES: This story follows A Dream Can Come True, Believe, Wonderful, Like Someone In Love, I Scare Myself, This Girl's in Heaven, In Perfect Dreams, So Happy with You, Always and Forever, An Angle Smile Upon Me , Do What You Have To Do, Stay By Me, I'll Be and Your Guardian Eyes.
SOUNDTRACK: "Little Things" by Lamb from the Album `Fear of Fours'
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author
The Little Things
By Celievamp
It's the little things sometimes that make me smile. The ordinary things. Standing hip to hip in the kitchen with her, her washing me drying, both of us singing along to an old song on the radio. Nudging each other every now and then, the nudging escalating to flicking soapsuds and teatowel swatting, especially after my tshirt suddenly developed wet foamy handprints in strategic areas. I can't wear a wet tshirt so I take it off and then her warm soapy fingers are tracing patterns on my bare skin and the washing up can wait.
Patiently explaining to her (again) the difference between a plant and a weed.
Feeling her hands support me as I stand on a stool to reach something from a high cupboard (even though she has seven inches on me, my gazelle, I make sure she knows I don't keep her around to reach things I can't immediately get to). Wobbling dangerously as her hand starts to caress me in areas guaranteed to make me reassess the benefits of verticality. I forget what I was looking for, turn on the stool and put my arms around her. Her face is pressed into my abdomen, I can feel her lips against my bare skin.
Cooking a meal for her and watching her eat like it's the first hot food she's had for a week (which sometimes it is).
Sitting on a blanket to protect my butt from the cold concrete floor in the garage, handing her up her tools as she works on one of the cars or her beloved bike not listening to a word of her description about how the transmission system works just letting her voice wash over me. Fantasizing about her hands working on me with similar concentration and dedication. Servicing me.
Watching her fingers fly over her keyboard as she writes her reports or works on a paper or her book. Seeing them pause as I crash all her mental gears at once by kissing the back of her neck or licking her ear when she's not expecting it.
Finding a note she's left me, somewhere where I will come across it unexpectedly, just to let me know that she loves me.
Flirting with her when we're out together at the mall or the supermarket or waiting in queue at the bank. All the little words and moves we have now, a secret code that no one else can crack, a shorthand that says so much we can never say openly – at least not for the foreseeable future.
Reminding her that foil dishes in the microwave is a no-no, that coffee cups do not wash themselves and even if I do appreciate the medicinal properties of mould, not growing it on my crockery please.
Watching her play football with Cassie in the yard, or lift her off her feet so she can slamdunk a basketball.
Holding her when she's upset or tired or in pain. When she's having a bad day or the flashbacks from Jolinar have robbed her of any rest or peace of mind. It comforts me as well. I was so afraid that I had lost her forever. At least we know the truth now. It is possible for the host to survive. There may be hope for Share and Skaara and all those other lost souls.
Watching her watch me as she arches over me, kissing and stroking my body as she makes love to me. Marvelling how her eyes darken with passion, her skin flushes like the sunrise. Realising just how much I mean to her, just how much she loves me. Knowing how thoughts of me, of our love are a light for her in dark places.
As I said, the little things. But its those same little things that make a great and lasting relationship, that make up a life. And that's what I want with Sam.
I sometimes worry that I don't tell her enough how much I love her how much her simply being in my life means to me. When I think about it coming to work with the Stargate was a defining moment in my life. But so was meeting Janet. I know it took several months before we got our act together and actually admitted our feelings for one another but really from the moment I saw her at the checkpoint that morning I knew she was special. And she has more or less told me the same.
And so I consciously make the effort to tell her every chance I get that I love her. Because in my line of work…
I told her how I used the image of her to fend off Jolinar to retain my sense of self. I told her how her simple presence when I was recovering was enough to reassure me that there was a point to being alive. All the little things that make our lives so ordinary and yet so extraordinary at the same time. The commonplace that you don't miss, don't even think about until it's all threatened.
When I was trapped in my own mind in those first terrifying hours all I could think about was that I would never watch Janet in the kitchen any more, cooking or cleaning or play with Cassie or write Janet one of my silly little notes. I would never hold her again or kiss her. I would never feel her arms around me, the way she rests her forehead on my back, her arms around my waist, the feeling inside when she holds me close, not sexual just… comforting, like coming home. Little things. Wonderful little things.
And somehow, I beat the odds again. I got them all back. And for a while at any rate they all feel wonderful and new again. I know that soon this feeling will pass, that they will become commonplace again. But I'm going to do my best not to forget, not to take a single thing for granted.
I won't forget to live.
The End
LITTLE THINGS – Lamb (Fear of Fours)
There's so many things that we miss in our everyday lives
We're so busy hustling, bustling chasing far away dreams
We forget the little things
Like blue skies, green eyes and our babies growing
Like rainbows, fresh snow and the smell of summer
We forget to live
Give us eyes like children so we live each day as others
We're so sure we know so much that we forget to listen
Then we wander freckle faced
Like cheep thrills bad spill and constant consumption
Like TV, CDs and cars that speak our names
We forget to live
There's so many things that we miss in our everyday lives
We're so busy hustling, bustling chasing far away dreams
We forget the little things
Like blue skies, green eyes and our babies growing
Like rainbows, fresh snow and the smell of summer
We forget to live