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ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Wolf at My Door
By spheeris1


Gabrielle wakes up like this sometimes. She wakes up, yet she is still dreaming. Shadows become people and people shift into animals. Gabrielle dreams of Xena being a wolf with long, black legs stalking the woods, icy eyes scanning the landscape for food. And Gabrielle becomes the rabbit, not turning tail... just waiting to be caught.

Xena, when will you catch me? Find me unaware of you near and wrap your arms about me? Bear your teeth and kiss me?

Gabrielle doesn't look for danger like Xena once did. And yet, Gabrielle cannot live a calm life now. Corners become invitations to battle. Faces speak before lips do and Gabrielle hears their intentions. She finds herself skulking about towns now, watching for a fight.

Xena, who is predator and prey now? How do I run away now that my legs go forward only? Who I am without you now?

Gabrielle sees things... a ghost walks beside her. And she gets angry all over again. Angry at life, at others who are dead, at emotions like guilt and love.

Gabrielle gets angry at Xena. She shouts at the air, she cries for a memory that forever haunts her... Gabrielle, sometimes, wants the dreams to end... wants Xena to leave for good... Sometimes...Gabrielle wishes she could tell the woman... just tell her...

Xena, I love you and I hate the decisions you make and I feel you near and I cannot stand it and I can't let you go and... And...

Gabrielle wakes up like this sometimes. She wakes up, yet she is still dreaming. A black wolf comes near the bed, tongue licking over lips. And Gabrielle shudders as the beast changes, as it always does, into a woman. A dead woman, creeping up Gabrielle's body and leaving a trail of lust... never to be satisfied.

The End

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