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A Place To Keep Her Safe
By Victoria Anne
Introduction
An intelligent machine designed me, made me and programmed me. An intelligent machine wrote the software that was programmed into me. I am a cybernetic organism. I am a Terminator.
She is flesh and blood. She is mind and spirit. She is the most valuable person in this world, after her son, to me.
If I had a heart, she would have that heart all to herself. There is no one else for me "to love".
When others ask me not to kill this human or that human, I always ask why. I am a Terminator and I terminate people. My question seems confusing to those people. There is no code that prevents me from harming a human other than John Conner by my action. There is no code that prevents me from allowing a human other than John Conner to be harmed by my inaction. Yet they do not ask me not to harm her any more. Am I this transparent? Do some people see what she means to me now? Am I moving pass my programming?
I seek a place to keep her safe from harm. And when I find that place I will guard that place and her with every weapon at my disposal. John Conner programmed me to protect his yonger self. And I will do so to the best of my ability as well. But had he programmed me to protect his Mother as well as long as he is protected too?
How much of what I think of Sara is from my programming and how much is from my own awareness of myself is the question. I come to conclusions. I am not sure if that is the same as having thoughts and feelings, I am an intelligent machine. I do not know what being human is like.
When Sara tells me her thoughts and feelings about anything, I conclude that givng her my full attention is important. She says she is hungry at times. I conclude that she requires food. I go straight away and prepare us a meal. I can consume a little human food when we have a meal together. She says she needs a hug at times. I conclude that she requires physical closeness to another being, even if that being is me. I conclude that it is important that the being to be me at times when that being is not the young John Connors. I place my arms around her and hold her close to my body as gently as I can. Sometimes she speaks to me softly. Somethings she cries. Sometimes she sleeps for awhile.
The young John Connors sees us together at times. He says he wants us to have "quality time" together. And then he goes to another place not too far away for awhile or stays near by so I can watch over him easier.
I conclude that something of what the young John Conner sees when Sara and I are having "quality time" together influences his decisions regarding me now and perhaps in the future.
He picked me out of all the Terminators to reprogram and send back through time to protect his younger self. Did he pick me for his Mother as well? Did he want her to have companionship as she trained him to be the man he would become?
And what of Sarah, can she love a cybernetic organism? What will she think of one machine, a Terminator, out of all the machines who try to kill all human beings in the future? All I can say for sure is that I am as strong as she is. And she is as strong as I am. Can we be a couple and in love?
Chapter 1
Sarah was sleeping on her bed. She lay next to Cameron who was resting, not sleeping. Cameron was watching over John who was sleeping in a sleeping bag in the corner of the room.
Sarah trembled and woke up in a cold sweat. She was deeply upset. Cameron held her gently and whispered to her softly, "You are okay. It is okay. I am here." Memories of the first Terminator still gave her nightmares.
John sat up and got out of his bag. Cameron held up a hand and gave an OK sign.
Sarah missed John's Father with all of her heart.
To Be Continued