DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
THANKS: to my long time (wow, it has been a long time) betas-- Xander, who is always there with assurance and encouragement (and requests for more romance,) and Gail, who helps hold me back when the schmaltz gets too thick.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you're looking for procedural drama, move along, folks, because there's none to be had here.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILER: up to and including Loss.

Spark
By Harriet

"Elliot, hey, listen, I'm calling from Mark's cell-- my bag didn't make it back from Italy. And don't ask me why I brought my cellphone to another country, because I don't know why I did it. Probably 'cause I thought you'd call me on the way to the airport with a case and I'd get out of the trip. Anyway, I'll be there in twenty. You can call me on this number till then, Mark's dropping me at the house. Okay, bye." Olivia handed the phone back to Mark. "Thanks. Figures your bag made it, but mine didn't. We didn't even change planes."

"I know, but I'm sure they'll find it soon. If I get a call about it, I'll ask them to deliver to my place, okay?"

"Sure. I'll pick it up later, maybe tonight if we're not working a case."

Mark picked up her left hand, touching the ring on her third finger. "You wouldn't have to pick it up, you know. You could just leave it with me."

Olivia swallowed. The ring felt heavy on her hand, heavy like a stone pressing down on her chest. She hadn't given him an answer, but he'd insisted on slipping the ring down past her knuckle, despite the fact that it was a shade too small. If she wanted to remove it, it would take some serious elbow grease. Maybe a little butter when I get home might help. Just so I know it'll come off.

"We'll see," she said.

Mark was a good man, and she cared about him. Four days in Italy had been a compromise; he'd wanted two weeks, and she hadn't wanted to go, so four days (plus one for travel) was all she would commit to. The only reason she'd agreed in the first place was because Elliot asked her to take the time. Though insulted at first, she knew Elliot was only trying to help, and understood that it might do some good. Mark was thrilled at the compromise, and she'd actually enjoyed herself for the first two days, walking the streets with him, eating amazing meals, exploring the countryside.

He hadn't been so thrilled when he'd caught her calling Elliot at a payphone in the middle of the second night. "You promised, Olivia," he'd said forcefully, anger turning his face slightly red.

"I promised I'd try, Mark. You can't change who I am."

"You're not your job. If you were, there'd be no living with you."

She'd forced the sneer from her face, suppressing her temper. "My job is my life. If you can't accept that, I don't know what the hell we're doing here."

"Liv, you're wrong. The job doesn't have to be your life."

She'd winced. "Don't call me that, Mark. You know I hate it."

"You let Elliot call you that."

"You're not Elliot." Turning her back on him, she wished so badly to be home, she almost believed if she crushed her eyelids shut and clicked her heels together three times, it could happen.

His arms had wrapped around her from behind. "Olivia, I love you. I only want four days of you all to myself. Even if there is a case they're working on, what could you do about it from here?"

Leaning her head against his shoulder, she couldn't let go of the tension in her belly. "I just wanted to know." She looked back at him. "There's no answer anyway. He must be out of range."

"Maybe he knew it was you and deliberately didn't pick up."

She'd scoffed, "Unlikely."

The final two days in Rome had been fine, but spending so much time with another person had worn on her. Even understanding, supportive, kind and caring Mark. She needed time away, to recharge and get her bearings. She'd ignored his disappointed expression when she told him she'd be going out on her own, and had walked a few blocks to sit at a fountain for a while, watching people pass.

After an hour or so, a beautiful, dark haired girl had handed her a coin and gestured for her to throw it over her shoulder. "Dunque potete rinviare a Roma presto," she'd said with an encouraging smile.

Olivia had shaken her head and mumbling, "Mi dispiace, non parlo Italiano."

"Ah, certo. I say, so you may return to Roma very soon, yes?"

"Oh," said Olivia with a little laugh. "Okay, I guess." She couldn't imagine circumstances that would ever bring her back to Rome. Not in this lifetime.

"Chiuda i vostri occhi," the girl said, covering Olivia's eyes with her hand.

Closing her eyes behind a warm palm, Olivia tossed the coin. The girl clapped wildly when the old, out of date 100 lire piece landed in the water with a splash, and Olivia found herself smiling openly in return. "Adesso, qui," the girl said, taking Olivia's hand and pulling her over to the left side of the fountain. They came upon a small, surprisingly inelegant portion of the structure-- a simple rectangular basin with a pipe draining into it. The girl pointed. "You come back con la vostra amante, with your lover. Drink, and you will be faithful always. Per sempre."

"Drink? From that?" Frowning, she replied, "I don't think so."

"Si," the girl had said. "Bring her here."

"Oh." Olivia stared at her. "I'm not- I don't..."

The girl looked at her strangely in return. "No, bellissima, you bring her. Drink." She nodded with a great grin, motioning with her hand. "Per sempre." She leaned in and kissed a startled Olivia on both cheeks, skittering away with a "Ciao, bella!" called over her shoulder. Olivia watched her join arms another girl, as dark and quiet as her new friend was boisterous, and they disappeared into the mass of people, schoolgirl skirts swaying in the breeze.

Olivia had gazed down at the small fountain, breathing deeply to cure the vertigo that had come over her.

That night, Mark had given her the ring. "I know you might not be ready, Olivia, but I'm willing to wait. I wanted you to be sure of my commitment to you, and be comfortable in that. Will you just take it?" He'd looked so adoringly at her, brown hair falling into his eyes, and she'd nodded minutely. His smile had been tender, and she felt like she could love him, someday, if she was patient enough. "I love you," he'd whispered, taking her in his arms.

"I love you too," she'd said in return, while the memory of the fountain lingered.

Now that she was back in the city, the whole trip seemed like a dream. It was already fading, replaced by the grit and reality of her home. Rain pounded on the roof of the black sedan, and Olivia looked out the window at the rivulets of water streaming down the glass.

Half an hour later, Olivia kissed Mark goodbye. "Leave a message if my bag gets in, okay? Or call Elliot. You have his cell number."

"I have it. Let me know when you'll be home for dinner."

If, she thought. "Okay. See ya." One last kiss and she sprinted from the car, pulling the messenger bag with most of her essentials packed in it over her shoulder. She'd stupidly forgotten to transfer her phone to it the night before, and it felt like she couldn't get into the station fast enough.

Striding into the bullpen, she felt the remaining tension drain from her body in an instant. It felt right; the sound of motion and intensity blew like a windstorm around her. It was her life, no matter what Mark said.

"Shit, Olivia, when did you get back?" Fin said from his desk, lines marring his brow.

"Just now," she said, shaking the rain from her hair. "What's up?"

"Didja get Stabler's messages?"

"Messages?" She dropped her bag on the desk. "No. My cell is in my suitcase, which is probably somewhere over the Atlantic right now, if I'm lucky. Did something go down while I was gone?"

He didn't respond.

"Jesus, Fin, what happened?"

Fin raised his chin, gesturing across the room. Around her, the air seemed to spark, alive with electricity. "Hey," a voice said behind her, and Olivia froze.

Though her feet didn't want to cooperate, she managed to turn around. Before her stood a vision, the one face that made her heart stop and stutter forward again, tripping over itself to beat in triple time. Olivia opened her mouth, but words wouldn't come.

Elliot came into focus next to Alex. "Velez turned up in the Hudson the night after you left."

She coughed once, croaking out, "Why didn't you call?"

"I did," he said, moving toward her. "I left messages."

She shook her head, looking past her partner, unable to stop staring. Ice blue eyes gazed steadily at her. Alex looked... different. Her hair was short, but still the pale blonde that Olivia had dreamed of every night for a month after Alex had gone. She was thinner, and there was something missing, though for a moment she couldn't put her finger on it.

When Alex tilted her head, Olivia had it. The cockiness was absent, replaced by a hesitance that didn't suit the formerly assured lawyer. "Aren't you going to welcome me home?" Alex asked quietly.

Trying to mask a wince, Olivia felt the familiar pain blossom in her chest. For more than two years she'd folded up her affection for Alex until it was so small, it seemed invisible, as if it had never existed. But the tiny place where she held it burst open beyond her control. She imagined sweeping Alex into an embrace as tears rolled down her face. Alex would hold her so close, while Olivia would smell the scent that had haunted her for so many days and nights. They would kiss once, twice, and again until those around them would look away, not wanting to intrude.

Instead, Olivia said hoarsely, "Welcome home."

The obvious dissatisfaction on Alex's face stunned her. She wasn't used to seeing such naked emotion on the cool features, and the effect was potent. "Thanks," Alex said dryly. "Just like old times."

Olivia hated seeing her disappointment, and wracked her brain for something more meaningful. "I mean, I missed you," Olivia said, moving a step closer. The thirst she'd suppressed bubbled up. Somehow, she'd drifted to stand right in front of Alex. "How are you?" Her hand started to lift, wanting to touch that soft hair; it looked silken, like feathers, like velvet. She pushed the desire away, shoving her hand into her pocket.

Alex watched her. "Not dead. Which is more than I can say for Velez. How are you, Liv?"

The way she said the nickname was a whisper of a kiss. Blankly, Olivia nodded. "Good, good. I've been... good."

"You went away," Alex said. "I can't believe you were on vacation."

Olivia snorted lightly, running a hand through her hair. "I know. I was tricked into it."

For the first time, Alex broke eye contact. Her gaze followed Olivia's hand up, then down again. "What's that on your hand?"

The ring. Christ. "Oh, um, it's just a thing someone gave me."

And then Alex was holding her hand, while Olivia tried not to gasp. It was only then that she looked around, realizing Fin, Munch and Elliot had left them alone.

"That's an engagement ring."

Alex's skin was soft, but there were calluses on her thumb, and the inside of her forefinger. Olivia said weakly, "It's not. I mean, I'm not engaged."

Blue eyes, almost translucent, pinned her; she was an insect in a spider's web. "Why are you wearing it then?"

With a sigh, Olivia replied, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Seconds ticked by, and their hands stayed in contact.

Cragen's kind face appeared behind Alex. "I see you've been reintroduced to our prodigal daughter," he said, placing a hand on a slim shoulder.

Olivia stepped back a pace, pulling her fingers away. "Yeah. It was... a surprise after being away." She looked at Alex again. "A great surprise."

"I'm sure you'll be able to help Miss Cabot get reacquainted with her surroundings again, since she'll be back with us in a few weeks."

"What?" Olivia said sharply.

"ADA Novak is transferring to Major Cases in a couple of months. When she leaves, Alex will be our primary."

Olivia was stunned to realize Alex wasn't just returning to New York, but to her daily life. They'd see one another all the time. After a moment of basking in the knowledge, a thread of anger rose up at what seemed like a slap in the face assignment. "But she should be the one with the promotion. Alex took a bullet for this goddamned place, I think she deserves--"

"Liv," Alex interrupted, "I requested to come back. I want to be with SVU."

"But your career--"

"Has been on hold for more than two years. It'll be nice to get my life back to where it ought to be. This is how I want to do it. Okay?"

Slowly, Olivia felt her head bob, up and down. She felt dazed. Alex will be here again. Every day. "I understand."

Cragen broke the spell once more. "We have a lot of loose ends to tie up. Alex, you ready to go back in?"

"Sure," she replied, reaching out to touch Olivia's elbow. "Maybe I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. I'll be here," Olivia said lamely, wishing she could follow Alex into whatever meeting she was in.

"I'll find you."

Moments later, she was gone, hidden behind the slatted blinds of Cragen's office.

Carefully, she walked back to her desk. Without Alex's presence, the room deflated. Elliot appeared and pulled a chair close to the desk.

"Hey," he said softly. "You okay?"

She looked at him. "Goddamn, Elliot. I can't believe it happened while I was away. I should have been here."

"You couldn't have known."

"I worked that case forever, with no leads. What the hell happened?"

"Got a call about a DB in the river. Velez was ID'ed from dental records, since he was missing his hands. The face was a mess; he'd gotten the shit kicked out of him."

"Dental records? Is that enough? What if we're wrong--"

"The tats backed it up, Liv. It was Cesar. I saw the body, and Warner did the autopsy herself. We wouldn't have taken the chance. You know that."

"Is the body still in the morgue?"

Elliot sniffed, as though he'd expected those words to come out of her mouth. "Yeah. We going now or later?"

"Now." They headed for the stairs

Ascending the staircase, Olivia exhaled, releasing a tension she hadn't been aware of carrying. The body was undoubtedly that of Cesar Velez; she'd memorized the tattoos, the marks, the scars etched into his skin. Alex was safe.

"What're you going to do?" Elliot asked.

Tilting her head, she replied, "What do you mean?"

"Come on. She's back. You gonna keep leading Hearst on?"

She glanced around to see if anyone was listening. "Nothing's changed."

"Yeah, right. You never got over her," he continued, his voice low as they walked in. "Two and a half years went by and you looked like you were going to puke all over your shoes the second you saw her."

A mild frisson of fear went through her. "Do you think anyone noticed?"

"Christ, Liv, Fin knew, Munch knew. We all got it. And it was pretty obvious that you still feel the same."

"She's out of my league, Elliot. I have to let it go."

Elliot laughed, dropping his eyes to the floor. "You think seeing her all the time's going to make it easier?"

"God, you're not helping. Just back off."

"Get that ring off your finger, Liv. Talk to Mark. You'll break his heart, but do it now, while you still have the chance." He leaned closer. "You're wrong. Everything's changed."

She wanted to deny everything he was saying. She would let go, or at least live with the attraction again without letting it overwhelm her. Her assertion lasted about five seconds, until the door to Cragen's office opened. The lines of Alex's pencil skirt were, as ever, perfectly smooth, while heels gave her calves a gentle curve. Olivia's stomach clenched. Fucking hell.

The smile on Alex's face shone brightly at her, even from fifteen feet away. Olivia could count on one hand the number of times she'd seen her smile like that.

"You're screwed, Liv. Take care of business," Elliot muttered.

Olivia nodded.

This wasn't how she imagined the resolution of the Velez case. In her own mind, she hunted him down, confronted him, encouraged him to fight back, and proceeded to put a full clip of bullets into his chest.

The reality was anti-climactic, but she couldn't argue with the results.

Alex strolled over, strappy shoes clicking like taps on the floor. "You're still here."

Leaning back, Olivia smiled. "Told you."

"So you're not on a case?"

Taken aback, Olivia looked to her partner for an update. "Fin and Munch are working a rape-homicide in Morningside. Yesterday we brought in the nephew on the Carolson case and he copped after two hours. Took a deal-- manslaughter, two to four."

"Anything we need to follow up on?" Olivia asked, embarrassed she'd so totally neglected her job. Considering how fast she'd wanted to get back to work, she'd done a lot of nothing instead.

"Not you, Detective," Cragen said to her as he approached the desk. "You're not supposed to be back till tomorrow. I'm gonna pretend you were never here. Why don't you take Alex out for some lunch, fill her in on all the dirt since she's been gone?"

Olivia squinted at him, wondering where the hell that had come from. Does he know? And do I really care? "Okay by me."

Alex nodded. "I'd love to."

"Wanna go now?"

"Sure. My schedule's so off, I haven't had anything but coffee all day."

"No wonder you're so scrawny. Didn't they feed you out-- wherever it is you were?"

"You think I look scrawny?" Alex scowled.

Olivia considered smacking herself in the mouth. "Well, not scrawny, but you do look a little thinner than you used to." And that's saying something.

"I don't know. I might have... lost a little. I don't keep very good track." Alex looked almost embarrassed.

"We'll eat lots of pizza then."

The smile returned. "Okay."

"Let's have beer," Alex said.

Olivia's eyebrows rose. "I never thought of you as a beer kind of woman." She checked her watch, which read 12:04PM.

"I've had a hard day, cut me some slack."

"More like a hard few days. Years." Still amazed to be sitting across from Alex, she added, "I can't believe you're here. I was afraid..."

"That I'd never be back."

Olivia nodded. "Or he'd find you." Alex sniffed, and the years of living under a cloud showed in her eyes.  Lines had formed on her forehead, at the sides of her mouth. They didn't look like smile lines. "Where were you? What were you doing for all this time?" 

"You'll laugh."

"I won't."

"I was in Nebraska."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. "That couldn't be more cliché. They really did send you to the middle of nowhere."

Alex chuckled. "It's not quite nowhere. Johnny Carson's hometown. That's their big claim to fame."

"Not bad," Olivia agreed.

"For some reason, the program thought I'd make a good teacher, so they put me in touch with the community college."

Olivia placed their order, including a pitcher of beer, which got a big grin from Alex. "Teaching what?"

"Literature. And poetry."

Although it shouldn't have surprised Olivia, it did. "I'd have thought you'd do something like social studies, or political science, or hell, even economics. But literature?"

"I double majored in undergrad, poly sci and English. Brown likes its law students well-rounded, so I got lucky."

"Lucky? Don't sell yourself short, Alex. You're brilliant. I just didn't know you read... poetry."

"Don't spread it around." The waiter delivered their beer, pouring them each a mug full. Alex immediately pounced, sipping her drink from the thick, frosted mug. Olivia watched the motion of her throat as she swallowed. "Anyway, I did a few 101 classes when I first got there, till the administration realized I had a background in Brit lit and 20th century American, so I expanded my curriculum to include post-war fiction, the Romantics and contemporary poetry."

"I'm impressed. If I got stuck teaching, it would probably be self-defense. Or cooking."

Alex tilted her head, licking her lips. "You cook?"

"Sure. Just not very often."

"Don't you cook for your..." Alex reached across the table to take Olivia's left hand. She played with the ring on her finger. "Fiancé?"

"I told you, I'm not engaged."

"But you're with him."

Olivia's heart started to pound. She wasn't ready to talk about this with Alex-- what was she thinking when she agreed to have lunch? "I guess." It was difficult to focus with the soft skin of Alex's hand caressing her own.

"Who is he?"

"Um, I met him at your old stomping grounds."

"The courthouse?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. He's a lawyer. White collar mostly, tax evasion and fraud."

"Is he a prosecutor?"

"Nope."

"Liv, you've gone over to the dark side!"

She laughed at Alex's consternation and drank her beer. It felt like she was on vacation, drinking in the middle of the day. I still am on vacation, I guess. I wish I'd been able to spend all my time off doing just this, with her. "He's a nice guy. He loves me."

"And you love him?"

The beer slid down her throat, the carbonation tickling her nose. She could lie; she'd been lying for months now. It got easier with practice. But she didn't. "No."

"Okay." Alex continued to watch her, and Olivia was irritated when her cheeks began to flame in a blush. "What will you do?"

"I'm going to break it off." The words escaped her mouth in a whoosh before she was even aware of thinking them.

They sat in silence for a few moments, and images flashed through her brain of the last times she'd seen Alex; the misery of her death, the joy in seeing her alive, the despair at discovering she would disappear indefinitely. Her seemingly lifeless body lying on the sidewalk, eyes staring skyward. Tears came to Olivia's eyes, and she choked them back.

Alex spoke first. "I thought of you while I was gone."

Olivia wiped wetness from under her eyes. "I thought about you too. I wanted you to come home."

"And here I am."

Olivia's heart continued to hammer noisily inside her chest. Alex leaned in over the table, frowning at something Olivia couldn't see. "Come closer," she said, her voice almost too low to hear, even in the quiet restaurant.

"What is it?" Olivia asked.

A fingertip landed on her neck, and it took a moment to realize Alex was measuring her racing pulse. She jumped back, covering her throat with her hand. "What are you doing?"

Alex looked satisfied, but still nervous. "I just wanted to be sure."

"Sure of what?"

"That you feel the way I do."

Olivia took a breath before she spoke. She didn't want to dare hope, but the possibilities were too immense to ignore. "Do I?" she whispered.

Pale blue eyes seemed to darken, or perhaps a passing shadow deepened the color. "Yes."

"Are we talking about what I think we are?"

"When I said I thought of you when I was away, I meant all the time. Every day." Unsteadily, Alex tucked a tuft of hair behind her ear, although it was too short to stay in place.

Olivia nodded. "Me too."

"How come you never said anything before?" Alex sounded frustrated.

"How come you didn't?"

That brought a smile to Alex's face. "Honestly?" At Olivia's encouraging look, she said, "Complacency. Believing I had all the time in the world make you see me. And fear of rejection, naturally. What about you?"

I didn't deserve you. I still don't. "I thought you were straight." And that if you weren't, you'd never even look twice at me.

"Bullshit." Olivia started at the curse. "You thought I was too posh. I'm not an ice maiden. My blood isn't actually blue, despite all evidence to the contrary."

The sharp memory of Alex's blood spurting up over her hands returned vividly. It had been cold that night, but the blood was hot and thick as it pooled on the cement. Olivia mumbled, "I know."

Alex seemed to realize what she'd said, and what Olivia was thinking. "I'm sorry, I forgot--" she began, until the waiter interrupted the potent undercurrent between them by presenting their pizza with a flourish.

Olivia shook her head free of her thoughts, taking a huge breath. She pressed her forehead to her palm.  When a slice of pizza landed on her plate, she looked up to find Alex serving her. "Peppers? Parmesan?" She scattered some cheese on her own pizza, clearly flustered. "Liv, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay," Olivia replied. "It was a long time ago, but seeing you again, it just--"

"Brings up everything that happened."

"Yeah."

"The look on your face when you first saw me alive..." Alex's eyes clouded over. "I'll never forget it, as long as I live.  When I got to Nebraska, the agents told me to make a life for myself, to forget about everything that came before. But I'd think of you, and your face, and I couldn't. I wouldn't let go."

A tear slipped down Olivia's cheek; it was too much to bear, to hold back, after hearing the words she'd so longed for. In a moment, Alex had left her seat and slid next to Olivia in the booth. Arms wrapped around her, and Olivia pressed her face into the haven of skin and hair and heat. Clutching her tightly, she felt Alex's breath against her ear.

"I'm afraid to want you, Alex," Olivia murmured, hardly able to catch her breath.

Lips brushed her earlobe, whispering, "Don't be afraid, Liv."

Olivia closed her eyes. Warmth trickled through her limbs, from the top of her head to the bottoms of her feet. "Say it again."

"What?"

She whispered it into Alex's ear. "My name."

"Liv," Alex breathed, "Liv."

She rested her head on Alex's shoulder.

Minutes later, embarrassment won over desire to stay in Alex's arms all through lunch, and she backed away. Avoiding smoky eyes, she took a bite of pizza. When Alex started to slide out of the booth, Olivia grabbed at a lean thigh and asked, "Stay over here?"

Alex nodded gently. "Okay." She pulled her plate and mug closer and settled back.

In the silence, Olivia felt Alex's ankles wrap around one of her own under the table. Olivia smiled, scooting over for more contact. She wanted to laugh.

The quiet was broken with Alex's question. "What's the story with you and this fake fiancé?"

Olivia poured herself and Alex fresh glasses of beer, gathering her thoughts together. "I was tired of being alone. He was nice, and he didn't ask too much of me, at first. He understood my hours, my obsessions. And the insomnia." The last was a trait she shared with Alex, along with most of the other detectives in SVU.

"He sounds more like a friend than a lover."

Leave it to Alex to get it in one. "The sex didn't seem so important. It still doesn't. I think he believes at some point I'll morph into some kind of love goddess and all his patience will pay off."

Alex bumped her shoulder. "Too bad for him."

Olivia agreed. Mark was already fading from her mind, superceded by Alex in every way. She slipped into a fantasy, of sliding her hand along the inside of a smooth thigh while they sat in the booth. No stockings barred her entrance, and her fingers tickled and taunted while Alex moaned quietly into her ear. Her thumb brushed--

"Liv," Alex interrupted.

"Huh?" She flushed, the object of her desire staring back at her.

A perfectly sculpted eyebrow lifted in a knowing arch. "Tell me what you were thinking."

The flush intensified, and Olivia drained her mug. "No."

A hand landed on her knee, and Olivia jumped an inch off the seat. "Please?"

She shook her head.

Short fingernails raked up the denim of her jeans, and the sensation shot straight between her legs. "Okay, I give," Olivia gasped. "I was thinking about you."

"I'm sitting right here. You don't have to think about me."

"I can't do what I was thinking about," Olivia admitted.

"Who says?" Alex murmured, her nose brushing Olivia's cheek.

"We'd get arrested." With Alex's ankles around hers, and a hand gripping her leg, Olivia thought she might lose control very soon.

"It's okay, I know someone who could bail us outta the hoosegow," Alex crooned.

Her hand landed on Alex's, pulling it away from her thigh. "Please, Alex, don't."

Immediately Alex backed off. The tension lessened in seconds, and Olivia was finally able to draw a full breath.

"Sorry, Liv. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"I don't think I'd call it uncomfortable."

A sly grin tipped Alex's lips.

"Besides, I'm supposed to be telling you what's been going on since you left. Captain's orders." Olivia needed to bring the conversation back to safe subjects. She wasn't ready to dive into Alex; she had loose threads that needed attention before she could submerge herself completely. "But we'll continue this soon. If you still want."

"Sweetheart, I've been waiting for years. I can wait a few more days."

She held Alex's hand, and pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles. "Thanks."

The empty pitcher sat at the end of the table, alongside an equally empty bowl of melted ice cream and brownie crumbs. Olivia's head buzzed with the effects of the beer combined with the company. She'd relaxed against the side of the booth, playing with Alex's hand as they exchanged stories.

It was almost as if Alex had never left. Except it was better.

"I like your hair," Olivia announced.

"Really?" Alex lifted a hand to fluff the unruly strands at the back. "It's short."

Chuckling, Olivia added, "Obviously."

"I dyed it for the first six months, but it was such a pain in the neck that I just hacked it all off."

"It's pretty." When Olivia was close enough, she could just pick out the gray threaded among the blonde. "How old are you?" she asked, fingering the almost colorless strands.

"What a polite non-sequitur," Alex said with a grin.

"I've known you more than six years, and I never asked. I don't even know when your birthday is."

Alex looked out into the now filled restaurant. "My real birthday is in September, the 19^th. I'll be 34."

"Real birthday?"

"Yeah. I haven't celebrated it for a while. My other birthday, Carolyn James' birthday, is February 26^th. I don't make a very good Pisces."

"Carolyn. That's a nice name."

"I didn't choose it," Alex said, eyes turned inward. "I didn't choose my house, or my furniture, or the color of my car. I haven't chosen anything for quite some time."

"Alex," Olivia said, trying to pull her attention away from the sadness. "I'll call you whatever you want. You say the word."

Alex looked grateful. "I liked it when you called me sweetheart," she said shyly.

"Then sweetheart it is," Olivia breathed, drawn by the magnetic planes of perfectly formed cheekbones, the soft shape of moist lips.

A cellphone rang, startling them both.

"That's me," Alex said. "Sorry." Looking frustrated, she reached into a small purse and pulled out a tiny cellphone. "Oh shit." Clicking the phone on, she said, "Hello?"

Olivia waited, content to listen in on the conversation as long as it didn't bother Alex.

"MJ, I'm so sorry I didn't call you. It completely slipped my mind... Yeah, I have to miss the game tonight. I know I'm leaving you in the lurch, but... I didn't mean to worry you... Did you see the note I tacked up on my office door? I thought I...I, MJ, to be honest, I don't think I'm coming back at all."

Trailing her fingers down the side of Alex's face, Olivia thought she understood the conflict of wanting to return to an old life, but leaving a new one behind.

"It's my great aunt, she's very ill... No, she needs someone to tend to her, and I'm all she has left..." Alex winced at the lie. "We're barely two weeks into the summer term, and I'm only on Thursdays and Fridays... Maybe Sheffer can take the poetry... I know he hates Ginsberg, but that's no excuse..." Laughing, she continued, "That would be worth seeing. And listen, Macy can handle second base tonight, I know she can. You won't even notice I'm gone."

Olivia frowned. Second base?

"I'm telling you, she's been catching like a fiend lately, and she talked me into running sprints last week. She's really improved."

This was definitely a side of Alex she was unfamiliar with.

"You're sweet. I'm doing fine. I-- I'm so sorry to have left without saying goodbye. I just, I left in the middle of the night... Maybe I will... I'll call you soon. Let me know how the game goes tonight, okay?" Olivia watched as tears welled in Alex's eyes. "You too. Thanks for checking up on me, MJ...Bye."

Alex put the phone down, her mouth pressing into a firm line. "God, I didn't even know what to tell her. The program said they'd pack my things and ship them back next week. I haven't even considered what I'm going to do."

"What about your apartment?"

"My mother hung on to the property. She's been renting it out to a doctor who works at Bellevue. I don't know if Mom wants to throw her out."

"Christ, I didn't even ask about your mom. How did she take it?"

"She cried a lot. She yelled at me for a while, then cried some more. I'm seeing her for breakfast tomorrow."

A thought occurred to her. "Where are you staying for now?"

"I have a room at the St. Regis."

"Very nice. Rooms at the Plaza too small?"

"Oh shut up," Alex said with a grin.

"You could stay with me," Olivia offered, before she became too nervous to ask.

Blue eyes blinked back at her. "With you?"

"It's not the St. Regis, but--"

"Okay."

"You'll stay with me."

Alex nodded. "Yes."

"That was easy."

Licking her lips, Alex replied, "I'll be very easy where you're concerned, Detective."

Maybe this was a mistake. Olivia breathed out slowly.

"Don't worry, Liv. I won't pounce on you yet. But you're wonderful to offer your home to me, and I'd be an idiot to say no. You asked me to stay with you once before, remember?"

Just before the explosion. Alex had said no. "Yeah, I remember."

"I didn't want to put you out, or cause any trouble. Now... I don't mind so much."

"Okay," Olivia said. "Should we get your things from the hotel?"

"Sure."

Olivia left the payment on the table, and the waiter gave her a wink as they headed for the door. Grinning, Olivia felt nothing but pride as she slipped her arm under Alex's on their way out.

"Since when do you play second base?"

Alex hoisted her bag over her shoulder as the valet called a cab. "I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask me about that."

"I never pegged you for a sports fan." Olivia dropped the tiny suitcase in the trunk, and Alex set her other bag next to it.

"I was talked into it."

"By your friend?"

Once they were settled in the back seat, the taxi took off south on Fifth Avenue at a rapid clip. "Yeah. I didn't know a lot of people. Hell, I didn't know anyone. MJ was... I don't know, she drew me out. I had a hard time when I first got to Norfolk. I'd lived in New York, spent time upstate and in the Hamptons, and Providence was hardly suburban. But Norfolk... was a new experience entirely."

"The Midwest is a different world." Or so Olivia had heard.

"It sure felt that way when I arrived. MJ works at the college-- teaches history and is on about four advisory committees. I think anyone new gets taken under her wing."

"Or maybe she saw something special in you."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, a wallflower in need of some social assistance."

"You? A wallflower?"

"I got to Nebraska three weeks after I was shot. I wasn't feeling very social at the time."

Olivia was cowed. "That was lame. Sorry."

Waving her hand, Alex continued, "After about two months of catching up on reading, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to teach with no training whatsoever, the semester started. I was green, but I figured out that teaching isn't much different from interrogating witnesses. Of course, I also figured out that dissecting a student's thesis in front the rest of the class wasn't always the best way to go."

"Ouch. I'd have been terrified of you." At Alex's threatening look, she added, "I'd have had the hots for you too, naturally."

That seemed to placate her. "I found my groove after a while, and then MJ cornered me about softball. I couldn't play yet, because of my shoulder, but she conned me into a few fund-raising runs, and by the spring, she had me."

"Were you any good?"

"You bet. I played outfield at the beginning, but I was bored as hell. Turns out I'm quick, and I think pretty fast under pressure, so they stuck me at second. We won the league tournament last year."

Delighted at the mild boast, Olivia took Alex's right hand. "Is that where these came from?" she said, caressing the calluses.

"Yeah. MJ's obsessed with the batting cages, so we had a standing date twice a week."

"I bet you're great at bat." She could picture Alex's stance; hard angles, soft curves, and enormous intensity focused on the ball. If I pitched to her, I wouldn't have a chance.

"I'm a little predictable, sending them down the foul line at third, but I was working on it."

"Maybe we could go over to Chelsea sometime. They have cages at the Piers if you want to keep up."

Alex's face brightened. "You'd go with me?"

"Hell, yeah. Elliott plays on the squad team, you could join up." Maybe I will too.

The cellphone rang again, and Olivia automatically reached for her bag until she remembered yet again that her phone was still awol. Alex picked up. "Hello?" She listened. "It's Elliot, for you."

She took the phone. "What's up?"

"Your bag's at the precinct. They dropped it off a few minutes ago."

"Thanks. We'll stop by on our way downtown." She heard Alex tell the cab driver to alter their destination. "How's things?"

"Whoa, whoa, 'We'll stop by?' You and Alex going somewhere?" Elliot prodded.

Olivia mentally kicked herself. "Yeah, um, she's staying with me."

There was silence for a moment on the other end of the line. "Really," he said.

"Uh huh." She didn't call him on the suggestive tone in his voice.

"So I take it things are going okay."

"You could say that."

"You calling Hearst anytime soon?"

Olivia caught herself before she barked at him, knowing he was right. "Tonight. Today, I mean."

"That ring off your finger yet?"

Looking down at it, she replied, "Almost."

"Good. I'm heading out-- check in later, okay?"

"Sure, El. Thanks."

"Give Alex a kiss for me," he added cheekily.

"You know what you can kiss," she replied.

At his laughter, she hung up.

Climbing the stairs to her apartment, Olivia looked over her shoulder at Alex. She smiled.

"What?"

"Nothing." Her keys were shoved into a pocket, so she had to drop her suitcase before retrieving them.

"Come on, tell me."

As she unlocked the door and swung it open, Olivia confessed, "I'm still not totally convinced you're real. I feel like I'm asleep, and if I wake up, I don't..." I don't know how I'd survive.

A hard pinch left a red mark on her hand. "Ow!"

"You awake, Detective?"

Olivia pursed her lips at the smug look on Alex's face. "Yes. Now get in here before I pinch you back."

"I wouldn't complain," Alex teased as she stepped inside. She took a deep breath and let it out. "It's homey. And it smells nice."

"It smells? I can't tell."

"That's because it smells like you."

Olivia blinked at the implication. Alex thinks I smell nice. She watched as Alex explored the largest room, looking out the windows, examining bookshelves, testing out the couch. "This'll do fine."

Fighting the urge to tackle her companion on the sofa, Olivia carried her things into the bedroom. "Do you need a shower?" she asked, dumping dirty clothes into the wicker hamper.

"Maybe later," Alex called.

Olivia poked her head back into the living room. "Do you mind if I take one?"

"Of course not, Liv. You don't have to stay with me every minute. It's not like I'm in protective custody anymore."

Unanswered questions led Olivia to the couch. "Anything more I should know about Velez? And how did you end up back here so fast? I thought it took weeks for most witnesses to return to their old lives, but it's only been days for you."

Leaning back into the cushions, Alex began, "It's partly because of my connection to the case, and to the DA's office. I got a phone call as soon as Velez was found, even before they were sure it was him. A couple of hours later, I got a confirmation, and my handler said that they'd been expecting the hit on Velez for a few weeks. They heard from someone on the inside that he'd been picking off lower ranking dealers for skimming. A swarm of dissatisfied minions can be just as dangerous as the kingpin, you know?"

Olivia nodded.

"Their main suspect for the hit is one of Zapata's nephews. Took the hands as revenge, since Velez died of blood loss and shock, not the beating."

"Jesus. And they're sure you're in the clear?"

"I'm as safe as anyone connected to the case. I gave Zapata the deal-- Velez was the one who had him killed."

"Maybe we should get you a protective detail--"

"Olivia," Alex said, raising a hand. "I spent more than two years looking over my shoulder. Having nightmares. Being suspicious of every new person I'd meet. But I left that behind the second I got on a plane to New York, and I won't go back to feeling that way. I can't."

Though she wasn't entirely convinced, Olivia could relate. She had plenty of experience looking over her shoulder.

"Besides, I have one of the NYPD's finest on my side. Who needs a detail when I have you to look out for me?"

"I will, Alex. I'll do my goddamndest to never let anything like this happen to you again." Just the idea of someone harming Alex made her protective instincts flare up, and she swallowed rage that had no escape valve.

"That's all I can ask," Alex said softly, moving closer. She touched Olivia's mouth with her fingertips, tempering the anger instantly. "You made the idea of coming home a lot easier, Liv."

"Really?" Olivia believed her, but it didn't hurt to hear the words.

"Some people never come back from protective custody. They make new lives, and families." Alex's features began to go out of focus as she came closer, though Olivia's stomach clenched when she thought of Alex choosing to stay in her new life. "I never once considered staying."

"I bet Nebraska's a lot safer than New York," Olivia murmured, her heart rate accelerating as Alex continued to lean in. "And you have new friends..."

Alex's long fingers stroked Olivia's cheek. "I was alone every day, Liv. I didn't know what lonely was till I went away. Fear ruled my life from the day I was shot."

Olivia argued, "Don't say that. You were brave, Alex, taking on the cartel and never backing down. You have more courage than anyone I know."

Smiling indulgently, Alex closed the distance between them and brushed Olivia's cheek with her mouth. "You're biased," she whispered, exploring her cheekbone.

Feeling faint, Olivia exhaled through her nose, allowing Alex to continue. She wanted to respond, but any thoughts she might have had evaporated when Alex's lips touched hers. She was afraid to breathe, or move, as an impossibly soft mouth caressed her.

"Liv," said Alex, still close enough to touch.

"Yeah?" she replied hoarsely.

"Kiss me back."

Olivia took in a great gulp of air, dazed at the request. In moments, she found her bearings, and drifted back to Alex's mouth. They kissed, so slowly, small touches at first. Alex opened her mouth, and Olivia first felt the electricity of a deft tongue meeting her own. Her hands came up to grasp Alex's head, tilting it to press closer. She heard a moan come from the back of Alex's throat, while hands clutched at her sweater.

They fell back onto the cushions, Olivia pulling Alex's lighter frame atop her own as their legs immediately scissored together. Olivia wanted to use her mouth to discover the rest of the body weighing her down, but she couldn't possibly break their kiss. Instead she used her hands to skim down and grasp slim hips, squeezing. Without warning, Alex's thigh pressed just between Olivia's legs, and the effect was overwhelming. She hadn't realized, hadn't thought--

Alex lifted her head, panting through an open mouth.

"Huh?" Olivia groaned at the interruption, already reaching up to recapture the kiss.

Against Olivia's lips, she said, "Your phone is ringing."

"What?" A second later, the electronic tones of her landline broke the silence.

Alex tucked an invisible hair behind her ear, chest heaving.

"If it's Elliot, I'll wring his neck."

The answering machine clicked on, but it wasn't Elliot. "Olivia, honey, it's me. The station said you were home for the day. Are you feeling okay? I called the airline and they said your bag was delivered to the precinct. I can pick it up before we have dinner tonight. Call me when you can, I'm worried about you. Talk to you soon. Love you."

"Shit." Olivia closed her eyes, and Alex's head landed on her chest.

Wriggling to get more comfortable, Alex tucked her nose into the hollow at her throat. "There goes the mood."

As her mind began to work properly again, Olivia allowed her fingers to map the planes of Alex's back, memorizing the feel of the delicate shoulder blades beneath her large hands. "I want this, so much, Alex," she began nervously. "But jumping in... Maybe it's not the best thing for you."

Alex's head popped up. "Why?"

Olivia frowned, considering the possibilities. She finally shrugged. "I don't know. You're, uh, in transition. Maybe you should get settled into your life here before we start anything." She wondered what Huang would say about that.

"That's not much of a reason," Alex countered. Her voice altered into the tone she used in the courtroom. "I don't know what the protocol is for one returning to a former life after years in witness protection, but my initial opinion is that one should take advantage of all previously lost opportunities whenever possible. In addition, one should put to rest all regrets one might have, and put forth a special effort to reconnect with loved ones as soon as possible."

Loved ones. Olivia tilted her head, adoring the serious expression above her.

"Did you hear me?" Alex said.

Nodding, Olivia took a deep breath. "Those sound like reasonable arguments." She lifted her head for a brief kiss, enjoying the taste of Alex's mouth. But the memory of Mark's kiss intruded, and she pulled away all too quickly.

"You have to go, don't you," Alex said, deflated.

"I need to see him."

Alex wrinkled her nose. "I'm jealous."

Eyebrows lifted in disbelief. "You're jealous of a man I'm going to break up with the second you come back into my life?"

"I know it doesn't make sense. But I just..."

Olivia nudged her. "Let's have it."

"I hate the idea of someone else touching you. God, that's immature," Alex said quickly, gritting her teeth.

Shifting her weight, Olivia tucked Alex between the back of the sofa and her body. "I promise, Alex. There is nothing to be jealous about. Mark... I made a mistake, getting involved. I pretended to be in love." Olivia swallowed. "I lied to him. And I feel like a jackass."

"I wish I could help you," Alex said, embracing her fully.

"Me too." She snuggled into the comfort of Alex's slender form for a few more seconds before making the decision to get up. "I still need that shower."

"No you don't. You're perfect as is."

"You're delusional." Olivia regretfully broke the embrace and headed for the bathroom. "This goes without saying, but anything I have is yours. If you're hungry, or thirsty, or want to use the phone, or anything else, go for it."

As she stepped into the bathroom, Alex called out, "Olivia."

Poking her head out the door, she said, "Yes?"

"I love you. I wanted to tell you before I lost my nerve."

Thunderstruck, Olivia stared vacantly before taking a few long strides back to the couch, tackling a laughing Alex. The sound was glorious to her ears, the deep tones satisfying something she'd been missing for far too long. She kissed Alex possessively, wanting to make sure her meaning was clear. When she lifted her head, Alex was breathless. "I love you too," Olivia replied.

For the first time in many years, it was the truth.

Olivia waited in the lobby for Mark as he finished up in a meeting. Her hair was still damp from her shower, her cheeks warm and flushed not only from the hot water, but from Alex's attentions as well. Her left hand was slick from the butter Alex had insisting on using to remove the engagement ring.

"Did he consider getting this thing sized before he put it on you?" Alex had asked, frowning as she massaged butter around Olivia's finger.

"Don't know," Olivia replied, daydreaming.

Carefully, Alex pulled the ring over Olivia's knuckle without injury to either of them. "There we go." She looked up at Olivia, who had been drifting in an erotic haze, imagining slick hands moving over the rest of her body. Alex had narrowed her eyes and said, "You'd better get going. Otherwise I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Ms. Benson," the receptionist called, shaking Olivia out of her stupor. "You can go in now. Mr. Hearst is ready to see you."

Butterflies erupted in her stomach as Olivia made her way down the maze of hallways, running over the speech she'd planned on delivering. Mark greeted her enthusiastically at the door.

"Hey, babe, what are you doing here? I thought we could meet up later."

With a deep breath, Olivia said, "Actually, I need to talk to you about a few things now. Can we take a walk or something?"

"An early dinner?" he offered.

"No, Mark. Let's just walk."

Outside, Olivia hid her bare left hand in a pocket as they walked along Centre Street.

"I take it you picked up your bag," Mark said uncertainly.

"Yeah, I did. Listen, Mark, there's no easy way to do this--"

"Is this about that message Elliot left?"

Olivia stopped. Though she didn't know what he was talking about, her training kicked in. "Why don't you tell me your side of the story."

"I only wanted you to myself for four measly days. That shouldn't be too much to ask of my fiancée, should it? Jesus."

She should have known something like this had occurred; it had slipped her mind that Elliot mentioned leaving a message. "So what happened? And when?"

"Don't play this like that partner of yours didn't tell you exactly what went on. He called on our first night in Rome--the first night!" Mark ran a hand through his hair, his steps picking up speed. "I mean, all the note said was, 'Cabot coming home.' What the hell is that about? And why couldn't it have waited a few more days?"

Olivia felt the air leave her lungs, and her stomach dropped. "Elliot called our hotel to tell me that Alex was coming home," she said, her voice flat.

"Who's Alex?"

"Alex Cabot."

"I still don't know who that is." As she stood there, Olivia actually saw the realization cross Mark's face. "That's the name of the ADA killed a while ago in that drug hit." He swallowed. "It was all over the papers."

A thousand arguments flashed through her mind; reasons why it was irresponsible and cruel for Mark to have deliberately not given her a message, but it was beside the point now. "So you didn't forget? You just didn't tell me."

"You knew Alex Cabot?"

"I asked you a question, Mark. Did you forget or not?"

Mark didn't respond for a long moment. "I thought it could wait. It didn't sound like a life or death situation."

Inside her pocket, Olivia's hand closed around the ring. She held it out to Mark, who opened his hand automatically to accept whatever she was offering. His face crumpled when he saw what she'd given him. "Olivia, it was a mistake-- I admit it. I'm sorry--"

"It's not about that, Mark. I can't marry you. I've been a bitch, and I apologize. I knew there was something wrong, and I let you believe that everything was okay, but really…"

"Liv, we can work it out--"

"Don't call me that!" she shouted, embarrassed when a group of kids across the street turned their heads. "Sorry. Mark, believe me, if I thought we could work it out, I would. But I'm all wrong for you." When he began to protest, she added, "I'm never going to give up the job. I'm still going to work all night, and all day, and get personally involved in every case that crosses my desk. Nothing you do will ever change that."

"I can learn to live with it. Olivia, it was one mistake."

"It's my mistake, not yours," she said, softly.

"Please, don't do this. I had so many plans for us," he pleaded, and Olivia's heart broke.

So much for letting him down easy. "I know there's someone else out there for you. Someone who'll love you the way you deserve to be loved."

He looked devastated. "You don't love me?"

One more lie won't kill me. "I do, Mark. Just… not enough." She leaned in, kissing his cheek. His arms wrapped around her, and she let herself be embraced.

"Olivia," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," she said one last time. "Please don't hate me." With a final kiss to his faintly stubbled cheek, she left him alone on the sidewalk.

Olivia walked back to her apartment in the dusky light, and as she approached her building, she remembered she had a call to make.

"Stabler."

"Hey, it's me."

"Hey there. How goes it?"

Olivia could hear the hustle of the bullpen in the background. "Really good and really bad."

"Damn. How bad is the bad?"

"The worst is over. I hope."

There was a pause. "You did it?"

"Just now. I guess I needed to hear a friendly voice."

"Liv, you did the right thing. Believe me, I liked the guy, but he wasn't right for you. How'd he take it?"

"I don't know, okay. It was fast. I gave him the ring, apologized, and pretty much took off. And I found out he never gave me the message you left in Rome."

"Damn. I'm sorry. I should have tried to get in touch with you directly."

Olivia unlocked the front door, picking up her mail on the way in. "It's okay, El, not your fault. I tried calling you Tuesday, I think it was. You must have been on the road." Tossing the junk mail into the trash, she added, "Mark caught me on a payphone in the hotel hallway, and he was pissed as hell. I should have ended it then. But I couldn't think right, you know? I forgot how…" How to be anything other than miserable.

"Liv."

"Yeah?"

"You almost home?"

She was standing in front of her own door. "Yeah."

"Go spend time with Alex. Worry about the rest later."

She sagged against the door in relief. "I will. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Taking up the slack on Munch's lazy ass paperwork routine, as usual." A voice not unlike Munch's hollered in the background.

"I'll be in tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Alex is going to see her mom. She moved back to the city last year."

"Lemme guess--Upper East Side."

Olivia chuckled. "You got it."

"Call me if you need anything."

At that moment, she was incredibly grateful to have Elliot as her partner. "Thanks." She flipped her phone shut and unlocked the door.

The apartment was too dim and quiet for Olivia's taste.  Fortunately, a clean plate, mug and spoon drying next to the sink assured her that Alex's presence hadn't been a dream. When she came to the bedroom, she leaned against the doorframe, unable to look away from the scene. Alex was stretched out under the covers, asleep, as the television displayed a black and white movie with the volume almost too low to be heard. The glasses Olivia had spent almost five years admiring were miraculously perched on her nose; she'd worried that Alex had had lasik surgery to correct her nearsightedness.

Olivia realized she'd been running on adrenaline for most of the day; had it only been ten hours before that she'd gotten off a plane from Italy?  Considering the time difference, it was the middle of the night in Rome, and her sleep schedule had been off kilter since the start of her vacation. That was excuse enough to crawl in next to Alex.

Five minutes later, dressed in her pajama pants and a tank top, she slid beneath the cool sheets. Trying not to jostle her companion, she lifted the glasses from Alex's face with a steady hand. Her chin resting on her palm, Olivia watched Alex's eyelids twitch back and forth; she was deeply asleep and dreaming. After a while, Olivia lowered her head to the pillow and closed her eyes, listening to the soft breathing beside her.

Awareness came slowly; she'd been dreaming of walking in front of the Plaza Hotel, holding Alex's hand. They'd sat by the fountain, both of them trailing their fingertips in it as it jets of water spouted up. Alex cupped her hand in the liquid and offered it to her, asking, "Want some?"

When Olivia opened her eyes, she heard the sound of the shower running. Reaching out, the space beside her was still faintly warm. The clock read 5:02AM. Almost twelve hours had passed since she'd dropped off; she hoped Alex had been able to get a good night's sleep as well. Taking the pillow from the other side of the bed, she held it to her chest, sniffing at the scent. She only caught a whiff of Alex, but it was enough to comfort her into closing her eyes for a few more minutes.

Olivia woke a second time to Alex pulling the pillow from her embrace. "Why don't you hang on to me instead," Alex said as she maneuvered into Olivia's arms.

"Sure, Counselor. Anything for the DA's office." Olivia wrapped her up, throwing one thigh over Alex's hip to tug her near. "God, you smell gorgeous."

"Mm, sweetheart."

Olivia pressed her lips to a smooth brow. "I slept through the night."

"Me too."

"You were okay?"

"I was. Oh yeah-- I did wake up around ten, and there you were next to me."

Olivia froze. "I wasn't snoring, was I?"

"Like a freight train."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry--"

Alex laughed. "I'm kidding. You were completely silent. If I hadn't leaned over and kissed you, I'd have thought you were dead."

"You kissed me?"

"Uh huh." A hand slipped under the waistband of Olivia's pants, tickling the top of her rear. "Too bad you didn't wake up."

The sensation sent tingles up Olivia's spine. "No kidding."

"You could offer to make up for it now, you know."

"No way. I haven't brushed my teeth."

"Like I care. Let's make out."

Her guffaw was interrupted by Alex's mouth moving in for the kill, and soon Olivia rolled atop Alex, hyperaware of the breasts and belly and thighs beneath her. She held her weight up for a little while, until the hands caressing her back urged her closer. Lying in the cradle of Alex's hips, kissing her intently, she wondered if she'd ever felt so much love for another human being in her life.

As she licked her way along an alabaster throat, a purr came from deep within Alex. "I lived through more than two years of misery, and you're my reward," she growled.

Raking her teeth along Alex's thudding pulse point, Olivia looked up. "Never been anyone's reward before."

With a sigh, Alex replied, "There's a first time for everything." As Olivia explored the tender flesh of her collarbone, Alex asked, "Do something for me?"

Meeting Alex's eyes, Olivia answered, "Of course."

"You asked me to say your name, yesterday, when we were having lunch."

Olivia nodded slightly.

"Will you say mine? My real name?"

Catching a tremulous note in Alex's voice, Olivia smiled. "Alex. Alexandra." Running her nose under her chin, she said in a teasing voice, "Counselor Cabot." She heard a small laugh bubble up, though it broke a little at the end. "Alex," Olivia whispered in Alex's ear, "My Alex."

By that time, Alex was trembling in her arms, and Olivia gentled her kisses to soothe, not arouse. She continued to murmur variations of her name as Alex calmed. Scooting down a few inches, she found the raised scars she'd avoided before. Raining kisses down on the marred flesh felt right, as right as anything she could do. Alex's reached up and threaded her fingers through Olivia's hair, not pushing, but simply touching her.

The next thing Olivia knew was the sound of her alarm clock blaring the voice of Frank Sinatra. It was 6:15AM. She was still lying half on top of Alex, whose face mirrored Olivia's sense of shock at having fallen back to sleep. Blinking furiously, Olivia reached over and smacked the alarm off before shifting her weight back to Alex. Dawn had broken, and light streamed into the room.

"We fell asleep," Olivia said.

"Yeah," Alex replied, a curious look on her face.

"Are you okay?"

"I am," she said, gazing up at Olivia. "But I was just thinking that I really love you. I know I've told you that already, but it's weird."

Olivia rolled to her side and pulled Alex with her. "Weird how?"

"I haven't seen you in so long, and before, we were just friends. And now, it's like we picked up a conversation after an extended break, but nothing changed. Except now I want to be honest with you in a way I didn't believe I was capable of."

"Mm," Olivia grunted, agreeing. "Everything seems magnified. I'm not used to…"

"What?" Alex encouraged.

"Feeling good, I guess." Olivia thought about it. "Happy. Waking up with you in my bed, seeing your face. I hardly had any pictures of you. None of them very good-- mostly from the holiday parties, where everyone looked a little stiff, or from O'Malley's, when it was too dark to really see you."

Alex stroked her cheek. "I wasn't allowed to bring anything with me, when I went away. No pictures of anyone."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Stay right there." She leapt off the bed, pulling open the top drawer to her dresser. The tiny camera was fortunately loaded with freshly charged batteries, and in an instant, it was ready. Turning around quickly, she snapped a picture of Alex as she sat up on her elbows.

"Hey, you, no fair!" she cried, reaching for Olivia.

"Uh uh, me first," Olivia insisted, kneeling on the bed over Alex, looking down through the miniature viewfinder. Alex's skin was flawless, even in the unforgiving light of morning, and it took Olivia's breath away.

Resigned to Olivia's quest, Alex fell back onto the pillow and gazed into the camera lens. Her eyes were soft, and Olivia moved around her, getting shots from half a dozen different angles. She muttered quiet directions to turn a little this way, and that, and Alex complied without complaint. After capturing a shot of the curve of Alex's neck from over her shoulder, she decided she'd gotten enough. "Okay," she said gently, and Alex turned over and took the camera.

"Lay down," Alex instructed. Olivia did so, and Alex kneeled directly above her to straddle her midsection. It was as seductive a pose as any Olivia had ever seen, and she knew desire was visible on her face. She smiled, placing her hands on Alex's straining thighs, enjoying the strength of bone and muscle. Her eyes slipped closed as her head tilted toward the sunlight, and when she stretched, a few vertebrae popped back into place.

"Ahh," she groaned, and she heard Alex's breath hitch in her chest.

"Turn over."

Alex lifted up just high enough to allow Olivia to flip onto her stomach. Long fingers trailed down Olivia's spine, pressing firmly at its base. She heard the shutter click a few more times before Alex got off the bed entirely. From a position near the window, Olivia heard her say, "Look over here."

Lifting her head, Olivia rolled back to her side, and watched Alex snap one shot after another.

"Now us," Alex said, climbing back on the bed and sidling up next to Olivia.

Without speaking, Olivia took the camera again and held it up above their faces. She clicked a shot, and after another, Alex kissed her jaw, her ear. One kiss more, and Olivia met Alex's lips with her own, taking two more pictures for good measure. Moments later the camera was abandoned, and the kisses became deliberate, sensual. As two hands slipped beneath Olivia's shirt to glide up her abdomen, the cellphone at the bedside rang.

"Aw, no, God, please," Olivia begged, and Alex's head dropped. Gathering her wits, Olivia rolled over as Alex spooned up behind her. "Benson," she said, hating the whine in her voice.

"Olivia, morning," Cragen began, ignoring her tone. "We've got two DBs on the West Side, Spring and Greenwich. Foreman came in to start the day on one of those new high rises and got a nasty surprise. Can you be there in 20?"

Swallowing her disappointment and already shifting back into work mode, she replied, "Yeah. Elliot on his way?"

"He's heading for the Williamsburg now."

"Okay. Got it."

"Welcome back to the real world, Olivia."

Dryly, she signed off, "Thanks for the sympathy, Captain." Squeezing the arm that had wrapped around her stomach, she said, "Gotta go."

"I know."

"Call me later?"

"I will. I'm going up to see Mom at 9 anyway. That wouldn't have given us... enough time."

Heat spread through Olivia's chest, and lower. "Okay, now I've definitely gotta go."

In twelve and a half minutes, Olivia was showered and fully dressed. Alex shoved a piece of toast in her mouth and a cup of coffee in her hand. "Bye. Have a good day, Detective."

"You too, Miss Cabot." She kissed Alex a final time, and slipped out the door.

Well past the rest of New York's lunch hour, Olivia and Elliot took a break from canvassing the neighborhood and grabbed a bite from a hot dog vendor on Christopher Street. "Can I have a minute?" Olivia asked her partner, wiping a bit of relish from her upper lip.

"A minute for what?"

"I gotta make a call."

Elliot looked at her, suspiciously. "A call."

"Yeah, a call. Be right back."

"Tell her we have an opening on the team for a shortstop."

Olivia wanted to kick herself for mentioning Alex's affinity for softball. "How do you know who I'm calling?"

"Liv, in all the years I've known you, you've hardly ever made a personal call when we were working a job. Believe me, I understand completely. And thank God for small favors. All those candles Kathy's been lighting have finally made a difference."

"What?" Olivia cried. "What does that mean?"

"I mean, my wife is a very devout woman, and occasionally her messages delivered to the almighty pay off."

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"Don't knock it, partner. You're happy for a change, aren't you?"

Olivia stared at him. After a brief moment of internal debate, she said, "Yeah."

"See? I know these things."

Elliot's smile was kind, and he patted her on the shoulder. "When you're settled, you and Alex are coming for a barbecue. Four years went by and she never took me up on an invite. This time around, I want to see her sitting next to you at the table, got it?"

"Yeah," Olivia agreed, a bit unnerved. It surprised her that she'd been a topic of conversation in the Stabler household. She'd had this fantasy that as soon as she disappeared from Elliot's sight, he forgot all about her. Somehow, she'd convinced herself he never discussed her with anyone outside the squad. Clearly, that wasn't the case. "I just need a sec."

"When you're done, let's find our guy."

"Got it."

Quickly Olivia hit the new speed dial, lucky number seven, on her phone. It didn't ring once before Alex picked up. "Hey," Alex said, and Olivia could almost see the smile on her face.

"Hey, Alex."

"How are you?"

"Same ol'," Olivia said. "Two dead models on the West Side, and we're tracking a photographer who might know something. We've got fingerprints all over the scene-- this guy's on file for drug related activity back in the early 80s. Studio 54 type shit. But nothing beyond that."

"Hmm. Well known?"

"Name's Gavin Arbuthnot."

"Watch your step, Liv. He's a distinguished society photographer. Knows everyone from Kathy Hilton to Anthony de Rothschild."

"Damn, wish you were back in the office. You'd probably get more out of him than I would."

"You'll do fine, Liv. Just bat your eyelashes and give him the eyebrow. You'll have him eating out of your hand in no time."

"Are you suggesting that I use my feminine wiles to get information out of a suspect?"

Alex chuckled. "Your wiles won't work on him, but as soon as he sets eyes on you, he'll want you as a subject. He's going to swoon, babe. You'll see."

"Yeah, right." Olivia doubted it. "I wanted to let you know, I'm not sure if I'll be done as early as I wanted to. It might be after 7. I'm," Olivia stumbled, "I'm really sorry." It was the first time she felt such a powerful pull from her personal life compared to the professional.

"It's okay. Mom insisted we go shopping, so we haven't even had lunch yet. Do you think you'll be done by nine?"

"Barring an emergency, absolutely."

"Would you," Alex paused for a moment, "come uptown and get me? Maybe we can have dinner somewhere up here. I'd like to show you off. If you wouldn't be uncomfortable with that. It's not important, if you don't want to."

She wants to show me off. "What should I wear?"

"Anything you want. Jeans, trousers, a dress, nothing. I'll take you any way I can get you."

Reeling, Olivia looked down at what was left of her less than uptown version of lunch. She didn't deserve Alex, but she wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to be at her side. "I'll dress up if you will."

"Deal."

"I'll shoot for 8:30. Can I call you if--"

"--there's a problem? Of course. And I want to tell you something, Liv."

She sounded serious. "Okay."

"If you're late, or you don't finish till after midnight, or later, or in two days, I know it's not because you don't care. I know you're thinking of me, but do your job, okay? Your dedication is one of the reasons why I fell for you in the first place."

Out of nowhere, tears pricked the back of Olivia's eyes, and she was relieved that no one was around to witness her moment of weakness. "Alex," she whispered.

"I love every part of you, Liv. I mean it."

"I love you too," Olivia said. She inhaled shakily. "I wish I-- well, I just wish I could be with you right now."

"Don't worry, Detective. We'll be working together again soon enough."

That lightened Olivia's mood considerably. "I can't wait," she said. "Elliot's giving me the eye, so I'd better get going."

"Thanks for calling, Liv. It was good to hear your voice."

"Same here," Olivia replied. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye."

As soon as she heard Alex echo her goodbye, she snapped her phone shut, afraid that if she listened for even a few moments more, she'd never want to hang up. Striding back to Elliot's side. "Okay, ready."

"How's the little woman?"

"Oh, shut up."

Olivia smoothed the dark material over her hips and checked her reflection in the mirror. Considering she'd spent her early morning hours trading kisses and caresses with Alex, she was unexpectedly nervous about seeing her. It was the "date" thing, she was sure. If Alex had been here when she'd arrived home, and they'd just gone out to dinner, she'd have been fine. But the dressing up, fixing her hair, pulling the heels out of the back of the closet… It was like an automatic physical response.

At least it took her mind off the day's case. Olivia had seen worse, but telling the devastated parents of the two young women had been a strain. They'd gotten some good information, and Elliot questioned their suspect for a couple of hours at the end of the night. He'd cracked under the pressure, so that was something. As collars went, this one couldn't have gone more smoothly, but still, Olivia was drained.

Grabbing her cell, she dialed Alex.

"I'm heading up now, are we on for 9?"

"Sure, do you still have my mother's address?"

"Yeah… Which floor is it again?"

"The seventeenth. And listen, Liv," Alex said, her voice dropping in volume. "Don't drive. I plan on buying some very expensive wine, and you're going to share it with me."

Olivia grinned. "Deal."

To save time, Olivia took the subway and ignored the admiring looks from a few of the passengers. The train shot north, and within fifteen minutes, it dropped her right at 77^th and Lexington. The doorman took her name and showed her to the elevator, and it occurred to her that she didn't know the exact apartment number.

Of course, that didn't matter when the elevator door opened up directly into the entryway. She stepped inside, and lifted her voice tentatively. "Hello?"

"Come on in," she heard Alex call out. "I'll be out in one second."

Slowly she made her way inside, wondering what the rent was on a place like this. Then again, it probably wasn't a rental at all. She heard footsteps on the darkly stained wood floors, and turned to see Alex, dressed in pale blue, striding toward her. Olivia's stomach twisted and leapt at the same time as Alex walked straight into her embrace. Wrapping her arms around the slim waist, Olivia felt a bit dizzy. "You look amazing," she said into Alex's ear. Her fingers traveled up Alex's back, warm beneath the silky fabric.

"So do you. Can't wait to see what's under that coat."

Olivia took a deep breath, and held on tightly.

"Are you okay, Liv?"

She nodded into Alex's neck. "Yeah," she exhaled. "It's just good to see you," she said, embarrassed at her display of need. "God, I wonder if I'm going to be this thrilled every time I see you from now on."

"I wouldn't mind," Alex said, kissing her cheek. Pulling away slightly, Alex tilted Olivia's chin up so their eyes met. "Hi," she said sweetly.

Olivia smiled. "Hi." And then she was lost in the feeling of Alex's lips on hers.

When the kiss broke, she realized Alex had unbuttoned her coat and opened it. "I love your outfit," Alex purred.

"Thanks, it's new." Well, sort of. She'd bought it almost six months before for a police benefit, but had missed the event because of a case and never worn it since.

"Mine too. A gift from mom."

"You wear it well," came a voice from the hallway, and Olivia automatically jumped back a foot. Her hands fell to her sides, and she cursed the blush that suffused her face. "Miss Benson, it's lovely to see you."

Alex warned, "Be nice, Mother."

Mrs. Cabot ignored her. "I know we met at the funeral, dear, but that's all a bit of a blur now. Allow me to reintroduce myself-- Amanda Reese Cabot," the woman said as she held out a hand to Olivia. Although she was shorter than Alex, she had clearly passed her regal bearing down to her daughter. Dressed in simple tan trousers and a cream blouse, she was elegant and slim.

Olivia was terrified.

"Call me Olivia. It's good to see you again." She almost said ma'am, but caught herself at the last minute.

"Circumstances have improved drastically since we last spoke, for which I am forever grateful. Alex, why don't we all have a cocktail before you go?"

"Mother, we have a reservation at Orsay--"

"They'll hold it for you, darling. Assistant district attorneys don't come back from the dead every day. Just give them a quick call. I'll have a highball."

Alex shot a quick, rueful glance at Olivia. "What can I get you, Liv?"

"Uh, wine? Anything, really." As long as it calms my nerves. Quickly Alex left the room, and Olivia listened to the sound her shoes made on the highly polished floor.

"Sit down, Detective, please. I wanted to ask you a few things."

"Thanks. I mean, sure." That was eloquent. Christ, Alex, hurry.

"I understand you were aware my daughter's survived her gunshot wounds."

"Yes, ma'am." She wanted to cringe.

"You two were... close, before she went into the protection program."

"That's true." Wondering how much Alex had told her about recent developments, she didn't add anything.

"Alex told me that she insisted on seeing both you and your partner as she was leaving New York, that she trusted you both with her life." Olivia nodded. "And that she understood from Captain Cragen that you continued to work the Velez case during your time off in the hopes of bringing her home."

Shit. Cragen knows. "That's also true."

"You were there, when she was shot." Amanda's face was pale, still as stone.

Olivia hated thinking about it. "Yeah," she said hoarsely. Guilt stung her at times, knowing that if she'd been more vigilant, she could have protected Alex.

"I envy you, Miss Benson, for knowing Alexandra survived, and that she was living a new life in safety. But I have great sympathy for you as well. I've spent my time mourning, but I expect you spent that same time worrying about my daughter. Wondering where she was, how she was doing."

"I thought about her every day," Olivia said honestly.

"I did too," Amanda said, reaching out to take Olivia's hand. Olivia was suddenly aware that she wasn't being given the third degree; Amanda was simply trying to hold herself together.

"I'm so sorry we couldn't tell you, Mrs. Cabot. Truly."

A tear slipped down the woman's cheek. "I know, darling. I also know that I was one of the reasons Alex disappeared. If she'd survived, apparently I was the next target."

Although Olivia knew that fact in the back of her mind, it was strange to hear those words from Amanda's mouth. "It was a possibility."

"I'm thankful for your efforts, Detective. And I must tell you, I'm a bit flummoxed to see you here so soon. I thought I'd have more time to adjust to the fact that my formerly deceased daughter has returned and within a scant few days, acquired a female lover."

So much for secrecy.  "I can imagine."

"I'll expect you to keep an eye on Alex. I know this Velez fellow is dead, but better to err on the side of caution." 

"Absolutely."

Amanda leaned in, and Olivia recognized Alex's intense gaze in her expression. "Alex has been pining for you for many years, Miss Benson, so if you're not serious about this relationship, I suggest you make it known. I won't see my daughter suffer after so much time spent in isolation and fear."

Olivia could respect that. "I'm serious, Mrs. Cabot. I've never been more serious about anyone in my life."

"I thought so. Just wanted to be sure." Amanda sat back against the cushions and looked over Olivia's shoulder. "Thank you darling," she said to Alex, who hurriedly entered the room carrying a tray of drinks.

Setting them on a side table, Alex passed her mother a tumbler of dark liquid and handed Olivia a glass of red. "I opened the Antinori, Mother. I thought your guests could finish it off when they get here."

"That's lovely sweetheart, thank you. Olivia and I were just getting to know each other." Amanda sipped her drink. "I invited some friends for a late supper with Alex, but they can wait till another night."

"Mother, they don't even know me. You'll be fine."

"I know I'll be fine, but I want to see as much of you as I can before you go back to work, sweetheart."

"Alex, if you need to stay, I don't mind--" Olivia began.

"Mom, I'll come back tomorrow, I promise."

"Then you must both come for dinner. I'll make some calls. It can be a celebration."

"It's a little late notice, Mother, I'm not sure--"

"Oh nonsense. I always have my bridge game on Saturdays, we can just the extend the invitation to a few other people as well."

"You're still calling it bridge?" Alex snorted, looking over at Olivia. "Last time I was here on bridge night, the game was five card stud."

Amanda said, "We've expanded to Texas Hold 'em now, it's all the rage." Olivia laughed. She couldn't imagine Amanda and her society cronies playing poker. Mrs. Cabot added, "You could invite some of your friends from work."

That actually sounded fun to Olivia. She said, "I know the guys'd like to spend some time with you. Elliott grilled me today on what you were doing in Nebraska. And Donnelly, she probably--" Olivia stopped, and tried to think of a euphemism for 'shit a brick'-- "was very surprised to hear you're alive. I'm sure Branch will come, and hell I bet even Petrovsky would show." Pausing, she remembered the condolences the judge had extended to Olivia after she'd testified in her courtroom not long after Alex's "death." "She took what happened pretty hard."

Alex asked, "Are you sure?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah." If the week had gone differently, and she hadn't been near Alex so much, she'd have jumped at the chance to attend a gathering like the one they were planning.

"Okay, I suppose."

"Wonderful," Amanda said, putting down her glass. "Let me get some information, and then you two run along."

Ten minutes later, Olivia pulled on her coat as Alex did the same. "Now girls, be prepared for some flashbulbs tonight. You'll undoubtedly be on Page Six tomorrow."

"What are you talking about?" Alex demanded.

"Oh, please, darling, you don't think word is out about your story? The second you called Orsay, I expect half a dozen waiters phoned their contacts at the Post."

Concerned, Alex met Olivia's eyes. "Liv, are you ready for that? I don't think... we're going to be able to keep this quiet for very long."

Although the idea of such exposure in the public eye was unnerving, Olivia wasn't about to hide. Alex had done enough of that. "I don't mind. At least everyone will know you're taken."

It was the right thing to say. Alex beamed, as did Amanda. "Let's go then."

Alex kissed her mother goodbye, and held her close for a long minute. Olivia was just about to suggest they stay in for the night when Amanda pulled back. Olivia stepped up, unsure of what to do. "Come here, darling," Amanda said, hugging Olivia. "Take care of her," she whispered.

"I will, Mrs. Cabot."

"Amanda, please. I think we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

In the elevator, Alex grinned. "What did you say to her? She liked you. A lot."

"I didn't say anything," Olivia said. "How do you know she likes me?"

"Not only did she hug you, but she told you to call her Amanda. She hasn't done that since my boyfriend from freshman year. He was pre-law, on his way to being a Rhodes scholar. Mom cried when he dumped me." Olivia waited. "For a fraternity brother."

Olivia laughed for a second before reining it in. "Sorry."

"No need. We're still friends, if you can believe that. Besides, it gave me a reason to look around and rethink my options."

"Thank goodness. I'd hate to imagine two closeted lawyers married to each other. That would have been... depressing, to say the least."

"No more closets for me," Alex said, linking her arm with Olivia's as they exited the lift. The doorman tipped his hat to them on the way out. "Bye, Harry."

"Goodbye, Miss Cabot. Miss Benson."

"He's good with names," Olivia said once they were outside.

"Mom nearly broke down when she brought me to the apartment for the first time the other day. Harry was very sweet."

"Should we get a cab?" Olivia asked, looking down the street.

Alex shook her head. "It's only two blocks."

"I can't imagine how your mom reacted. Do you think she's okay?"

Pressing closer to Olivia's side, Alex answered, "I hope so. She wouldn't let me out of her sight on Tuesday. I thought spending a few days with her would make things a little easier, but she's still really shaken." Alex paused, looking out across the street at nothing Olivia could identify. "It was hard when we lost Dad. Losing me... it aged her."

Olivia understood that. "What happened to your father?"

"It was a stroke. I was 27. That's when she left the city and moved upstate. I think it hurt her to be in our home without him. I was honestly surprised when I found out she'd moved back, but most of their friends were still here. She thought she didn't' want to live with the hustle of New York, but it turns out she couldn't live without it."

It was the most Olivia had ever learned about Alex's family, total, and she wanted more. "Did you grow up here?"

"For the most part. Summer in the Hamptons, naturally," Alex smirked, "some travel in Europe, aside from the time I was in college. My dad was a lawyer. One day he collapsed at work, and that was it. He was a wonderful person."

"So you followed in his footsteps?"

Alex chuckled. "I suppose. But he made his career on the corporate side. He was, shall we say, put off when I declared my desire to be a public defender in my first year of law school."

"Always looking out for the little guy, huh?"

"I'm sure part of it was rebellion. Simply put, my childhood was safe, respectable and insulated-- I didn't see much of anything beyond my own experience. College opened me up to ways of making a difference beyond attending monthly charity events. It was my first exposure to people who had grown up in poverty, or experienced real devastation. As a kid I saw my share of broken homes, eating disorders, the occasional drug use and alcoholism, but nothing like what we saw on the job, that you still see, every day."

"Even growing up in the city?"

"It's amazing what parents can keep from their children when they think they're protecting them."

Olivia smiled. "Sounds like they loved you a lot. I'm sorry about your dad."

"Thanks, sweetie." Alex kissed the corner of her jaw. "I miss him. And he'd have liked you."

"Really?" She wondered what it would have been like to know Alex's father.

"Yeah. He used to go on and on about "Cagney & Lacey," you know that old show? He loved tough broads, if you'll pardon the antiquated terminology. I'd say you fall into that category."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It is, Liv. Believe me."

They came to the restaurant, which looked to be overwhelmed with patrons. "Shit, we're really late," Olivia said.

"I'll cut you a deal," Alex offered. "If they won't take us, we go to your place, order in and watch movies."

"I'll take that deal, Counselor." Olivia was sure Alex's grin matched her own.

However, once they stepped inside, the host nearly fell over himself to accommodate them. As he led them to their table, he fawned, "Miss Cabot, welcome back to our fair city. Your meal, it has been taken care of by the management. Please, you and your guest will dine with our compliments."

"Thank you, Frederick," Alex said to the man as he pulled out her chair. A waiter did the same for Olivia, who knew she shouldn't be surprised that Alex had known Frederick's name. "You're very kind."

"Not at all, Miss Cabot. Enjoy your supper. Madame." Frederick politely dipped his head toward Olivia.

Once he'd gone, she turned to Alex. "I take it they know you here."

"Used to," Alex said, opening her menu. "They have amazing fish. And steak. Actually, everything's good here. Do you like artichokes? And oh, there's this incredible gazpacho..."

Olivia leaned back, stunned that she'd managed to pack away such a vast array of dishes in one evening. On top of two appetizers, salads, seafood stew and Dover sole, two desserts were on their way. She ran a finger along the edge of the half empty wine glass in front of her, stopping only when she heard it begin to sing.

Alex stared at her, and Olivia recalled a sensation from the day before; that of prey being stalked by a larger and much faster predator.

They sat in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence, until their desserts arrived. Key Lime Pie with fresh blueberry sauce was placed in front of Olivia, while a flaming Baked Alaska was presented with a flourish to Alex. She laughed giddily, and Olivia couldn't help but join in.

When they were finally finished, Olivia felt warm, content, and pleasantly buzzed. Not to mention incredibly aroused. As they began to make their way to the front of the restaurant, Alex took Olivia's hand. Olivia unconsciously swaggered, proud to be trailing behind her.

Frederick was there to give them their coats, and he kissed Alex on both cheeks. "We are so happy, Miss Cabot. When we heard..."

"Thank you, Frederick. This has been a wonderful evening, and a perfect welcome home." She gestured to Olivia. "Let me introduce you-- this is Olivia Benson."

Olivia held out a hand, which Frederick took as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "It's a pleasure, Ms. Benson. I hope to see you again."

"Thank you. Dinner was amazing."

Frederick pressed a fist to his chest. "I will convey your regards to the chef. Have a delightful evening, both of you."

Outside, Olivia breathed in, the chilly air refreshing her. "God, no wonder you chose that place. Trust you to know the maître d's at all the best restaurants."

"Yeah, I was a regular. I used to live just across the park."

"I know."

They walked in silence, strolling down Lexington, allowing the tension to build. When Alex slipped a hand inside Olivia's open coat, wrapping it around her waist, Olivia did the same, playing her fingers along the seams of Alex's dress. The street was bustling, and while no one paid much attention to the two women walking side by side, Olivia felt as though everyone could see right through her.

She let her hand drift down to cup Alex's rear, squeezing lightly.

"Let's get a cab," Alex said roughly.

Soon they were in the backseat of a clean yellow car, the air remarkably free of either incense or cigarette smoke. It was dark, but as the headlights from passing cars reflected in Alex's shining eyes, Olivia moved closer.

Glancing at the front seat first, Olivia threw caution to the wind and kissed Alex softly. She barely heard the noise Alex made as she slid a hand against the smooth surface of her calf muscle, her knee. Slowly, she allowed her fingers to climb up the inside of Alex's thigh, creeping past the hem of her dress. A few inches higher and she reached bare skin. Pulling away, chest heaving, Olivia gasped.

Alex only smiled, her color already growing ruddy.

As Olivia caressed the edge of the stocking, she whispered into the delicate shell of Alex's ear. "This is what I was thinking about yesterday, when I told you I'd be arrested if I followed through."

Alex's head dropped back against the seat, her legs closing around Olivia's hand. Their lips came together intently, and Olivia barely noticed when the exotic music playing lightly in the front car speakers grew a bit louder.

Though Olivia wanted to move higher, she restrained herself. The car whipped down Lexington, and she felt the shift in direction when they turned east. "Almost home," she murmured.

"Maybe if you flash your badge he'll go faster."

"Believe me, if I had a blue light, we'd already be there."

At that, Alex clutched Olivia's elbow and pressed her hand further up her dress.

When Olivia's fingers met a damp set of silken panties, she bit back a groan. Alex's head fell forward, as if she'd lost her breath. Softly, she said, "I need you, Liv."

"Soon."

By the time the cab hit 3rd Street, both were nearly out of their heads. Alex pushed open the car door as Olivia tossed a twenty at the flushed driver. "Keep the change."

"With pleasure," the man said, and Olivia wondered if she'd be mortified at her behavior when she woke the next day. Turning to Alex, who was already unlocking the front entrance, she doubted it.

They raced up the stairs and within moments were plastered against the door as Olivia struggled with her keys. It flew open, banging against the wall with the combined force of their weight. Slamming it shut, Olivia dropped her bag on the counter and coat on the floor. Alex left her own coat on a chair as she backed up through the living room. Olivia followed, their eyes never breaking contact. "I need help with my zipper," Alex said.

Olivia didn't respond, her belly tight with awareness. Her fingers still felt damp from their tryst in the cab. This was different from the gentle build of the early morning; now it felt as though she'd come as soon as Alex touched her.

At the doorway of the bedroom, Alex flipped the light on and turned to offer her back to Olivia. With shaking fingers, Olivia lowered the catch gradually, releasing a tiny sob at the sight of so much bare flesh. Unable to help herself, she slid her hands inside the dress, reaching around a trim waist, down slender thighs. She pressed her breasts against Alex's back and scraped her teeth across the arch of her neck.

Alex cried out, laying her hands atop Olivia's through the material, breathing heavily. "Liv," she groaned. "Please don't make me wait."

Olivia pulled her arms up again and pushed the dress from Alex's shoulders, letting it slip to the floor. Alex was tall; her legs long and well muscled from running, her back sprouting delicate wings that drew Olivia's tongue. Again she noticed the scars on the back of her right shoulder, and paid them extra attention. Before she could do anything else, Alex reached behind and drew Olivia's hands forward to fasten on her breasts, and they both reacted as though touched with a live wire. One hand traced meaningless designs down Alex's long torso till it snuck beneath a pair of sodden panties. Alex stiffened, leaning back against Olivia, who welcomed her weight. In seconds she'd slipped inside with two fingers and Alex bucked against her arm. "Yes, yes," she panted, as Olivia learned the terrain skillfully. When Alex found a rhythm, Olivia broke it amidst great protest.

Tenderly she kissed a trail around Alex's shoulder blades to her collarbone, ending with a final lick to the hollow of her throat. Dropping to her knees, she nudged Alex closer to the wall, encouraging her to lean against it. Olivia pulled the useless underwear down and tossed it away, gazing up into Alex's dark eyes. She smiled, spending a moment admiring exquisite breasts for the first time, and Alex sucked her bottom lip between her teeth in anticipation.

She nuzzled in, pleased when Alex twitched beneath her touch. Flicking her tongue deliberately, Alex widened her stance. Olivia kissed her deeply, licking as much tender flesh as she could reach. The sound above her became a litany of soft words, both pleading and profane, all spurring Olivia on. Carefully she pulled Alex's left leg over her shoulder, taking some of her weight. A heel dug into the muscles of her lower back, and she couldn't help but smile slightly. Alex shifted above her, voice leaping when Olivia's roaming hand skimmed a breast.

A hand sifted through Olivia's hair while another pressed upon her shoulder. Olivia sensed Alex's peak approaching, recognizing the quiver of her muscles, the gentle cadence of her movements growing faster. And then she was pulsing beneath Olivia's tongue, crying out her pleasure, never pausing in her motion.

When all Olivia could feel was the occasional contraction, she opened her eyes, stunned at what had just occurred. She kissed soft, pale curls and lifted her face to see Alex looking down at her, appearing as astounded as Olivia felt.

Gingerly, Alex lifted her leg from Olivia's shoulder. "You're still wearing your dress," Alex said hazily.

Olivia choked out a laugh. "Yeah."

"Take it off."

Olivia rose to stand before Alex. Her face was wet, and she wiped at the moisture with a hand and smeared it on her outfit. Maybe the dry cleaner won't notice. Then Alex's mouth was on hers, tasting, exploring, delving deeply. Olivia pulled Alex into a full body embrace, trying to press every inch of herself to her lover.

Before she knew it, Alex was sliding the plum fabric down, following it with her mouth. She paused to lap at her hip, her waist, a small scar on her flank. More quickly than Olivia could have done it herself, Alex had made the rest of her clothes disappear, and had removed her own stockings as well. She pushed Olivia on the bed and climbed atop her like a cat preparing to devour its first meal in weeks.

"I won't last," Olivia said, her voice hoarse. She was already on the edge.

Alex bared her teeth in a feral grin. "That's okay. We have all night."

Olivia cried out when Alex's mouth found her breast, her hips lifting in supplication. Alex's hands took over when she inched down Olivia's torso, while Olivia shuddered beneath the attention. Nosing through dark curls, Alex parted her legs, and Olivia arched expectantly. When her tongue made contact, it was almost too much, and Olivia tried to pull away. Alex wouldn't relent, but shifted slightly for less direct pressure. Within seconds Olivia's hips were jerking, and once Alex pushed inside with two curling fingers, Olivia came, calling out desperately in the silence of the room.

When Olivia opened her eyes, Alex was kissing one hip, running her tongue along the jutting bone of her pelvis. She drew her fingers through Alex's feathery hair and tilted her head up. "I waited so long for you, Alex," she said, still breathless.

Alex laid her head on Olivia's belly. "How long?"

Pulling the willowy body to rest against her own, she said softly, "Felt like forever."

The first thing Olivia noticed when she came awake was that she was holding a hand to her chest, one with long, agile fingers and well-trimmed nails. Looking to her left, she saw Alex splayed out in all her glory, no sheets or blankets barring the view in the bright morning light. It brought an immediate smile to her face. Though she was still tired, the sight did little to lull her back to sleep. As she shifted position, her left gluteal muscle complained. It had been a long, wonderful night, and Olivia wanted to extend it into the morning.

Sitting up on her knees, she looked down at Alex's skin, frowning when she saw more than half a dozen red marks marring her complexion. She took inventory; there was one on her breast, another on her throat, and a few others in strategically placed locations. There were bruises distinctly shaped like fingerprints on a hip, and Olivia cursed herself for being too rough. At least Alex didn't look worse for the wear. Her position was languid and satisfied, a half smile on her peaceful face.

Too-long bangs fell on her forehead, and Olivia brushed them back. Maybe she'll grow her hair out again. Wonder if she'd be insulted if I asked her to. Alex opened her eyes, blinking slowly against the light. She made a contented sound in her chest, arching her back in a stretch.

Olivia's eyebrow rose of its own accord.

"Morning," Alex said, her voice gravelly. "You investigating something, Detective?"

"There's evidence of sexual activity on you, Counselor. Care to explain?"

"Certainly," Alex growled, reaching for Olivia and pulling her down. Their lips met in a leisurely kiss, and Olivia suspected she could still taste their combined flavors on Alex's mouth. A sleek thigh slid between Olivia's legs, and her breath picked up speed.

Coming up for air, Olivia huffed, "Good morning to you too." She nuzzled Alex's cheek with her nose. "I bruised you last night. I'm sorry."

Alex shrugged her shoulders. "Get used to it, Liv. If you touch me, or kiss me, or scrape me with your nails, it's going to show up. It's a curse of the fair skinned. They'll fade in a few hours, though."

Uh oh. "Turn over." Grinning, Alex flipped onto her stomach. There was a complex map of pink, faintly raised welts across Alex's back. "Oh, Christ. I should get some lotion or something." Reaching into her bedside table, she retrieved her hand cream and squeezed some onto her fingers. "I'll try to be more careful."

Looking over her shoulder, Alex said suggestively, "You mean next time?"

Olivia nodded.

In one smooth motion, Alex turned over again. "How about right now?" Grabbing Olivia's hands, she clasped them together, spreading the lotion on both palms evenly. She put Olivia's hands on her chest and dragged them south, smearing the cream down her torso in two wide trails.

Distracted by Alex's breasts, and the way her chest rose and fell with each breath, Olivia mumbled, "Okay." With smooth strokes, she massaged the powdery smelling lotion into Alex's skin, which drank it up thirstily. Leaning down, she flicked her tongue against a pale pink nipple, amazed as it pebbled and darkened before her eyes.

"Again," Alex breathed, her eyes falling shut.

As she took more of Alex's breast into her mouth, distantly she heard her cellphone ring. Olivia wanted to throw the damn thing down the toilet. Alex was despondent. "I thought you were off today," she whined.

"I am," Olivia groaned, rolling off the bed and padding naked into the main room. Olivia dumped the few contents of the bag on the countertop and seized the phone. "Benson."

"Morning, Liv."

"What is it, Elliott?"

"Don't you sound chipper this morning?"

"Christ, Elliott, what do you want?" She shifted her stance, trying to ignore the pulse between her legs.

"You're in the Post. Cindy Adams. And there's a picture."

That stopped Olivia up short. Although Amanda had warned them photographers might be around, she hadn't seen any. Then again, she hadn't been looking for them. "Is it a good picture?"

Elliott was silent. "So you're okay?"

"Okay with what?"

"Last time you made the papers you cursed the photographer for a week. Today there's a photograph with Alex kissing you next to a list of all the crap you ordered off the menu and you're totally fine."

"Well, this is different," Olivia reasoned.

"Maybe next time you could choose something a little less high profile. Just in case."

Inhaling sharply at the implication, she barked, "High profile? What the fuck do you think we did, Elliott? We had dinner at a place where Alex used to eat all the time. She wanted to go somewhere that felt like home. It's not my fault that people are interested in her story." She leaned over the counter, one hand gripping the edge.

"But it might be smart to keep Alex out of the public eye for a while. Velez has only been dead a week--"

"If there's a lingering threat then those assholes in the FBI shouldn't have pulled her out of protection. But she's not going back to Nebraska. She's staying, and we're not going to hide out in my apartment hoping no one notices us. We're going to have a normal life." Olivia began to tremble.

"So you're gonna watch out for her?" Elliott asked.

"What, you mean like I didn't the last time?" Olivia spat. Her guilt over Alex's shooting bubbled up out of nowhere. If I'd only looked over my shoulder, I'd have seen the gun. If I'd been walking closer, I could have taken the bullets. "That's not going to happen again!"

"Olivia," Elliott replied, startled. "You know not what I meant."

Trying to keep her teeth from clenching, Olivia said, "Then don't imply that I can't protect her."

"It…came out wrong. I only want you both to be safe."

She swallowed her anger. "You know what, Elliott? I spent two and a half miserable years waiting for Alex to come home. Right now, I'd rather be happy than safe."