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Oink!
By ncruuk

 

"Seven?"

"Yes Captain?"

"What are you doing?"

"I am scanning the space immediately surrounding Voyager with this adapted tricorder," replied Seven with her usual logic and literalism, which, if Kathryn Janeway had been prone to eye rolling, would have been the perfect trigger statement...

"For what reason?"

"To ascertain if a particular phenomenon, recorded by the Borg three centuries ago is still present in this region of space." Again with a precise answer, although this time, Captain Janeway's curiosity was sparked by the cool statement, rather than her annoyance.

"A particular phenomenon? That's unspecific of you Seven..."

"I have located it...it is a shame I cannot show you on the astrometrics lab viewscreen..." declared Seven with slight dejection in her tone even as she transferred the referencing to the workstation in Cargo Bay 2 for Captain Janeway's perusal.

"What am I looking for?" asked Kathryn, leaning on the console and looking at a rather standard patch of empty space. What was Seven looking at?

"It will come..." remarked Seven, smugly.

"What will..." Kathryn's jaw dropped mid question as the view changed to quite simply, the strangest phenomenon she had ever seen, in space or not.

"Is that?" she stuttered, completely bemused.

"A flying pig? Yes. The Borg found them most incompatible with assimilation, despite their uniqueness..." Seven paused to consider the sight before them as the first pig, which was a little larger than a small shuttle, was joined by another pig who promptly engaged the former in a spirited game of tag.

*Bridge to Captain Janeway...*

"Janeway here..." Her response was immediate and automatic, although her gaze remained transfixed on the creatures.

*We're seeing something strange off the port bow...*

"Don't tell me Mr Kim, flying pigs?"

*Yes Ma'am...*

"I'm seeing them too...Seven assures me they're perfectly harmless..." responded Kathryn, glancing at the report Seven had quickly pulled up for her which identified that the only risk the pigs posed to Voyager was...

"...just don't let them make Voyager 'It' Mr Kim..."

*It Captain?*

"This may be the Delta Quadrant Harry, but I'm not letting my ship get involved in a school yard game of tag..." explained Kathryn, her explanation to her junior officer trailing off as the second pig 'tagged' the first pig in exactly the manner Seven's report had suggested...with a big kiss on the snout!

*Understood Captain...* agreed Harry, watching with amusement as he tried to imagine where the pigs might think Voyager's snout or mouth was...

"Very good Mr Kim, Janeway out." Having closed the comm link with her command, Kathryn returned her focus to her silent companion.

"Why were you looking for the pigs Seven?" she asked, curious. It wasn't the normal thing she would expect Seven to be interested by.

"I wanted to show them to you..."

"Why?"

"Because I understood 'flying pigs' to be an important euphemism for an unlikely event's timeframe..." It took Kathryn a moment to unravel what Seven was saying.

"Oh, you mean when someone uses the phrase 'and pigs are flying past the window' as a sarcastic response to a suggestion for an action?" asked Kathryn, wincing at the clumsy use of the phrase but struggling to work out a better clarification.

"Indeed..." The look in Seven's eye suddenly made Kathryn realise there was rather more to this conversation than she'd thus far realised.

"Was there a particular conversation that brought up flying pigs?"

"Yes...Mr Paris referenced them 231 days ago when he used my kissing you as an example of an extremely unlikely and improbably event..."

"Your kissing me?" Kathryn's collar suddenly felt rather tight as 6 feet of magnificent blonde stepped into her personal space, the console behind her restricting her ability to escape backwards...

"Yes...he claimed that it would only happen 'when pigs were flying across Voyager's bow'..." which they certainly were right now, thought Kathryn, wondering whether she should be thanking Tom or demoting him for that comment. Seven was getting awfully close...

"Ah..." Licking suddenly dry lips, Kathryn asked hoarsely, "...so you found some flying pigs?" Never let it be thought that Seven was anything but inefficient or lacking in thoroughness…

"Yes..." And, by way of further explanation, Seven dipped her head and pressed a small kiss to Kathryn's lips.

"Ah?" asked Kathryn, surprised, breathless, startled...yet eager to tangle her fingers in that glorious blonde hair and kiss again, with more passionate intentions...

"Resistance is futile..." teased Seven gently, before she elaborated her plan on how to overcome any resistance (there was none from Kathryn on this issue…) with a kiss that met and exceeded all of Kathryn's requirements and desires...right down to the toe curling, heart stopping intensity criteria which she'd always aspired to experience but had reluctantly presumed was only possible in her novels. Soon, all rational thought stopped as Seven suddenly discovered a new delight to kissing - being kissed by your partner with equal passion and enthusiasm...at length....

Meanwhile, over Voyager's gleaming bow, two bright pink, enthusiastic pigs flew across space, chasing each other in a game of tag....there were days when it was good to be caught in the Delta Quadrant....

The End

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