4x11: Love Autopsy
Recap by Misty Flores
Previously on LHDP: When Pepa, Paco's long-lost sister, shows up at San Antonio, she causes a series of waves in the family and in the precinct. Because of a scandal she caused 8 years ago in which she showed up at Sara's first communion dressed like a punk, getting Silvia high and making out with her on the dancefloor, she has been blamed for her parents divorce and ostracized from the family. Paco is desperate to make amends and wants his sister to stay with them. Silvia, Pepa's old partner-in-crime, is just thrilled to see her, but Don Lorenzo has still not forgiven her for the scandal she caused. He erupts at the family dinner, and Paco, severely upset on behalf of his sister, asks him to leave.
EPISODE 4x11: Love Autopsy
Figuring out you and me is like doing
a love autopsy
they could operate all day long
and never figure what went wrong
- Hugh Grant, Music & Lyrics (heh)
RANDOM CABIN
Lucas has reluctantly agreed to meet with Paco's shrink, and takes him along an errand for the gang he has infiltrated. Once he arrived, he quickly realizes that the gang has discovered he is a cop and his cover is blown. He immediately gets to work setting the cabin as a triage, ignoring the poor psychologist's freak out and ordering him to help him.
What he DOESN'T know is that the same game has also rigged a bomb in the Dance Dance Revolution game he has bought and installed at Cachi's as a present for Mariano, in penance for breaking his old one.
SCENE: CACHI'S cafe
Lola has hired a director to film a local commercial for Cachi's café. She explains to the director that she wants to showcase the regulars, and just show a fun atmosphere.
The director is all for it, until he gets a look at the regulars: Gay as hell Quique, sporting a 'sexy guy' shirt, Curtis with his fro Startsky hair, Paco with his beard, Rita with her teeth, and Povedilla with his guitar. Now he wants to pull his hair out.
Things only get worse when Don Lorenzo shows up dressed to the nines, and happily informs the director that he used to act.
Don Lorenzo moves over to stand by Paco, and it's clear he has not forgotten the insult paid to him the night before.
DL: [to Paco] Can I sit at my daughter's bar or are you going to KICK ME OUT OF HERE TOO!
LOLA: DAD!
She pulls him away.
LOLA: Please. Let's have the party in peace. You know that this is really important for me. Give me two hours, okay? Just two hours. [zips her mouth shut]
DL: Only for you. [kisses her forehead.]
Mariano enters and his eyes goggle at the DDR machine. Paco and him squee over it, but Paco won't let him play it until after they're done filming the commercial.
Good thing. Because THERE'S A BOMB IN IT. In case you forgot.
As the group settles in to preen at the camera, the director quietly laments to his assistant about the group he's been instructed to direct. And then he sees the guns. Exasperated, he asks them all to please remove their firearms for the filming the commercial.
MEANWHILE
Lucas continues setting up for the attack, and tries to keep the shrink from panicking.
BACK AT CACHIS
The director is still freaking out when he films the awkward crew. He quietly speaks to his assistant.
DIRECTOR: get the out of my shot. I don't want t hem in my commercial.
ASSISTANT: But then what do we do?
DIRECTOR: I don't know.
ASSISTANT: We'll be filming an empty bar!
DIRECTOR: I don't care!
But then comes salvation, entering the bar come Silvia, Pepa, Aitor, Montoya and Sara. It's the pretty people!
DIRECTOR: Wow, and these guys? Awesome, look, we're going to get rid of all the Munster family, and put in these guys. They are much more attractive.
Povedilla, standing nearby, hears the whole thing as the director points out who they're taking out.
DIRECTOR: Okay, let's take out the old guy (DL), the 'fro' (Curtis), the gay guy, out! (Quique), the fat guy (Mariano), Mr. Beard (Paco), and... the Teeth (Rita).
Povedilla sneaks by.
DIRECTOR: Also, this guy behind us. Why not.
Povedilla shrinks and adjusts his glasses.
Now it's the assistant's turn to get creative.
ASSISTANT: Okay, people, listen up. We're going to record this commercial in two segments. First, we're going to film the young people here, hanging out around the bar, and then we'll film the rest of you, in the room in the back with a different atmosphere... a little ... more...
DL: CLASSY!
ASSISTANT: Classy, sure! [a cellphone goes off] Guys, let's turn off the cellphones, please!
PACO: That was me, sorry!
He immediately turns off his phone without answers.
Bad news for Lucas, who is trying to reach him.
The assistant goes on to remove the outsiders - DL, Rita, Quique, Paco, Curtis, Mariano and Povedilla.
As they are led away and locked into the back room, Quique and Curtis start to get suspicious, as they see just who has been left behind: The pretty people.
MEANWHILE
The hitman show up at the cabin. Lucas hands the shaking shrink a gun and gets ready for a long day.
BACK AT CACHIS
The pretty people are getting filmed.
The not-so-pretty people are watching from the back.
RITA: Look, they're giving them champagne! If we're the classy ones what do you think they're going to give us!?
DL: Maybe some coffee or some cognac! Something that'll show a classy, charming commercial!
Povedilla grimaces.
MARIANO: maybe they'll give us lobster!
QUIQUE: They're going to give us shit. Don't you see? We're not going to come out in the commercial.
RITA: What are you talking about? Why wouldn't they show the Inspector? Or Don Lorenzo who is the Commissioner?
Paco puffs up.
CURTIS: Of course, shit! What, haven't we all seen TV or were we born yesterday? We're the left-overs, the trash! In there are the ones who are going to get filmed. In here are the freaks, the fatsos, the uglies, the old guys, no offense Don Lorenzo-
MARIANO: Hey, speak for yourself! I'm not a freak!
QUIQUE: Oh, I'm sure you're ready for your bikini shot.
PACO: Hey, let's have the party in peace, okay? Of course we're all going to come out in the commercial, why wouldn't we?
POVEDILLA starts tapping at him incessantly.
PACO: What the fuck are you doing, Povedilla? Stop hitting me!
POVEDILLA: Inspector... they have a point.
PACO: About what?
POVEDILLA: I heard the director!
PACO: And what did you hear, that we're not coming out in the commercial?
POVEDILLA: Well, no, not those exact words. He said ... he used some disagreeable words, to make the point that our appearance wasn't the most photogenic.
Paco presses to hear what exactly the director said.
POVEDILLA: He said 'Get rid of the old guy (DL), the 'fro' (Curtis), the gay guy, out! (Quique), the fat guy (Mariano), Mr. Beard (Paco), the one on the side (Povedilla)and... the Teeth (Rita).
Rita immediately covers her mouth.
The group immediately starts to squabble over who is who, and DL starts getting more and more riled up.
MEANWHILE
Lucas fights off bad guys, with a shaking shrink.
BACK AT CACHIS
The pretty people are getting filmed. Montoya has taken the opportunity to hit on Pepa.
MONTOYA: So... come here often?
Pepa seems amused at the cheesy line, but plays along.
PEPA: Once in a while.
She turns her attention to the object of HER affection.
PEPA: And you gorgeous?
Silvia blinks, and suddenly blushes, flustered and smiling.
SILVIA: Me too.
The director yells CUT, and the group relaxes, until DL comes STORMING in, screaming at the director and causing a ruckus.
Silvia looks helplessly at Lola, who headpalms in despair.
In the chaos, Sara heads out to call Lucas. He picks up still in the middle of his gun fight, but tells her everything is fine and asks to speak to her father, before his phone dies.
MEANWHILE
Lola has had enough, and she has pulled her father into the backroom to let him have it.
LOLA: I asked you for TWO hours! TWO hours, and you had to act like a damn bull, storming into the café and kicking people out of the bar!
DL: That idiot took us out of the commercial! And he insulted us! Calling us fat and old - Lola for the love of God!
LOLA: And what, you have to be the one to insult the best, the loudest?! By your 'fucking balls'! So it would be perfectly clear who makes the orders around here! Well you know what dad? You don't makes the rules here. And you don't rule my house either.
DL is stung.
DL: Daughter... what are you saying?
LOLA: There here you're just one more person. And when you sit at my dinner table, the same goes. Just like Paco's sister. You're the exact same. I'm tired of dealing with your embarrassments.
PACO: Darling, the man was embarrassed...
LOLA: Paco. [she turns back to her father] I've been embarrassed my whole life. I was embarrassed when you insulted the cab drivers. When the butcher didn't cut the meat the way you wanted it. What the neighbors played their music too loud. The world is how it is, Dad. It's got it's white, it's black and it's shades of gray. But you only see black and white, and even then it's only what's white for you.
DL is stricken. Sara walks in.
SARA: Dad, Lucas says to call him, that its urgent.
She leaves, and Silvia and Pepa duck their heads in.
SILVIA: Lola, I'm leaving. I have to do Julio Olmedo's autopsy. I already told the director.
PEPA: I'm leaving too, Lola. [to DL] If that's okay with you, Commissioner?
Broken, he only nods.
PEPA: See you later.
SILVIA: Bye!
They head out together. Lola casts her father another glance, and walks away.
Paco sits with father-in-law. The other outcasts have found parts in the commercial, but they sit side by side.
PACO: Well... the last will be the first, right?
He laughs awkwardly, but falls silent. DL sighs, and reaches into his pocket.
DL: Paco. This is the transfer order for Agent Miranda. Your sister, to bring her to this precinct - to San Antonio.
He motions for Paco to turn, and uses his back as a writing surface. Paco's face lights up.
DL: There you go, Paco.
PACO: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Overwhelmed, he offers his hand. DL smiles and takes it, and the two men share a hearty embrace, before the assistant comes and collects them to put them in the commercial.
THE MORGUE
Pepa is assisting Silvia with the autopsy, holding the recording device as Silvia does her geeky babble about the trajectory of the bullet and being able to surmise that the victim was seated when he was shot.
She pauses when she realizes Pepa is smiling at her. She removes her mask and her glasses.
SILVIA: What?
PEPA: no, no. I just like listening to you. To get so much detail out of a bullet wound... [she grins] You're very professional.
Silvia isn't smiling. Self conscious, she pushes past Pepa to get the drill.
PEPA: [quickly] Sorry.
Pepa's face immediately drops, and she chastises herself for coming on a little too strong.
Silvia starts drilling at the victim's head, but Pepa's incessant staring has an effect, and flustered, she ends up hitting a vein and getting a spurt of blood splashed on her face. They both jump.
Pepa immediately reaches for a cloth.
PEPA: Let me, let me.
She carefully begins to clean Silvia, obviously besotted.
PEPA: look at how you've turned out, Silvia.
Gently, she finishes cleaning the blood of her face and carefully smooths the tendrils behind Silvia's ears.
PEPA: There, you're done.
Silvia jerks back immediately. Pepa's face once again freezes, and she tries to collect herself.
PEPA: So what happened with Lucas? Why didn't it work out?
Silvia freezes, and turns around.
SILVIA: Because he cheated on me. When they don't cheat on me, they leave me. Or I leave them because I'm arrogant or they're idiots or because I get scared and there you go. I've gone and collected a good amount of ex-boyfriends.
Pepa laughs.
SILVIA: And you?
PEPA: Me? I fell in love through a window.
Silvia frowns, and Pepa explains.
PEPA: I was a secretary, and the office was on the second floor. And when I wanted to smoke, I'd smoke out the window. And one day when I was looking out the window, I saw a girl crying in the building right in front of me. She would cry inconsolably in front of the mirror. But then she fixed her hair, she put on her jacket, and with a straight face, she left the building. And I would see how she would cry.
Pepa realizes the recorder is still on, and turns it off. Silvia is caught up in the story.
PEPA: The next day I saw her crying. And the next. And the day after that. I started going in early to work, I'd leave the office late. I'd watch her eat. I watch her brush her hair. And she was crying. She was always crying. And that... made me feel ... tenderness.
PEPA: So I started following her. And that's how it all began.
SILVIA: And why was she crying?
PEPA: Because she killed a man.
The story has a profoundly sobering effect on Pepa, and Silvia, touched, is shaken.
SILVIA: Well... should we keep going?
Pepa nods, but takes a moment to compose herself as Silvia resumes.
This time, however, when Silvia looks up to see Pepa staring, she smiles back.
MEANWHILE AT CACHIS
Mariano gets on the DDR machine. You know. The one WITH THE BOMB.
AT THE CABIN
Trying to determine if lucas is still alive, the bomb guy drives a truck into Lucas's cabin.
AT THE MORGUE
Silvia finishes up the autopsy, much more relaxed than she was before.
SILVIA: [finishing up] We'll wait for the ballistic reports.
Pepa obediently shuts off the recorder and shrugs off her lab coat.
PEPA: It's done. Want to eat?
SILVIA: Sure.
PEPA: Something about an autopsy always makes me hungry.
Silvia rolls her eyes and smiles.
SILVIA: Hey, is it because of that girl that you became a cop?
PEPA: Yeah. The girl who cried? She was a Subinspector, and I'm a romantic fool.
She shakes her head in defeat, but the reminder of Pepa's interest in girls has obviously shaken something inside Silvia.
As she removes her labcoat, she struggles.
SILVIA: Listen, Pepa. I have no idea why I'm telling you this, okay? But... okay- maybe it's because of what happened between us, I don't know... you know that I don't like women, right?
Pepa stills, but manages a bittersweet smile.
PEPA: Of course. We're not going to have a problem.
SILVIA: Great.
Silvia smiles and goes to put away her coat. As she turns her head, Pepa turns and stares at her friend. It's clear that even if Silvia doesn't like girls, Pepa very much likes her.
She smiles and opens the door for Silvia, letting her out.
IN THE OTHER STORYLINES
Lucas takes the bomb expert hostage and finds the plans for the DDR machine in his pocket. He realizes it's rigged.
At the café, the group's party turns into a nightmare when Lucas finally reaches Paco on the cell phone and tells him about the bomb on the game. Mariano is forced to keep dancing.
Lucas and the shrink torture the bomb expert - arrieta- until they find out which wire to cut.
The group cuts the right wire and celebrate in relief.
The shrink and Lucas celebrate too, but in the relief, Arrieta escapes.
The assasins outside of the cabin get an order to leave Lucas alone, there's a plan B in action.
We see plan B when ALISON shows up at Lucas' house to visit with his sister, Carlotta.
Lucas, collapsing in relief after his ordeal, has no idea.
END EPISODE
NEXT UP: Episode 12 - On Pepa's first day on the job, she manages to get hit on by Montoya and Curtis, is fucked over by Don Lorenzo, and unexpectedly get paired up with Silvia for a bullshit assignment. Of course, her temper gets the better of her and she ruins the one on one time with her crush and level headed superior by turning into Dirty Harry. Meanwhile, Silvia may still be 'straight', but her actions speak otherwise when she goes out of her way to keep Pepa in town, acts jealous as hell when Pepa is hit on (again by Montoya), gets accused of flirting by her sister and turns into a flustered schoolgirl in the face of Pepa's obvious interest in her.