DISCLAIMER: All characters and situations to belong to a bunch of different people and companies who are not me. Also I'm making no money off this.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To procrastinatingsith[at]gmail.com
SPOILERS: White Witch, Black Curse I think.
K is for Karma
Karma was a bitch. Okay, not literally. Werewolves had nothing to do with this.
My best friend was getting married today, settling down with the man that she never thought would be the man of her dreams, and getting ready to have some little living vampire babies with him. It was always the last thing she said she wanted. Until I made it possible, with the twisting of one little curse - just a simple thing, but one that will let her keep her soul even after she dies. Her soul - and her children's souls.
Turned out Ivy did want that white picket fence dream after all, just not when she had thought it meant putting her children through what she had gone through in her own childhood.
And Glenn was the person she wanted it with.
It was funny. I never even knew about them until I told her that I had actually done it. I was so proud of what I'd accomplished and giddy with it. Ivy had stared at me in disbelief and then launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around me in a crushing embrace. Instead of the tiny frisson of fear that usually shot through me when Ivy moved toward me that suddenly, held me that tightly, all I felt was excitement. When she finally let go, I was reluctant, wanting to stay in her arms. They felt so good around me - safe and warm. Ivy was home, after all. I'd learned that a long time ago.
I bit my lip and raised my hand to touch her cheek, but she was already turning away, my fingers barely ghosting along her skin. Ivy didn't even notice as she hurled herself into Glenn's arms, standing on the far side of the room, with a pleased, bemused grin on his face. He stumbled back under his weight, until his back slammed against the wall. Glenn let out a helpless laugh. It was so rare to see Ivy this open and carefree.
Then she kissed him - no light brush on the lips, but a deep, bruising kiss. A promise, as it turns out.
She pulled back, leaving him dumbstruck and staring with glazed eyes and a permanently bemused grin.
"Yes?" Glenn sounded confused. I couldn't blame him; I felt the same way.
"Yes, I'll marry you," Ivy said softly, almost shyly. "If you'll still have me."
Glenn swallowed hard. "Really?"
Ivy nodded and Glenn laughed, the purest, happiest sound I've ever heard - as my heart broke.
"Finally," he breathed. He looked deep into her eyes and kissed her then, cupping her face in both hands and holding her close.
I had to look away. I couldn't watch anymore. My eyes burned and my nose itched. So that was that. I felt hollow, shattered. I'd never had a chance after all. I'd thought, I'd hoped that after this maybe Ivy and I could, maybe I could...but apparently I'd never had a chance after all. How had I never noticed when Ivy's feelings had changed?
Had I really been so clueless that I had never noticed that she and Glenn where together? Anger burned in my stomach. She had never told me either. But it wasn't Ivy I was angry at; it was myself. I'd had a chance, before Glenn, long before all this and I hadn't taken it. The only person I had to blame for her being in his arms was myself - my fear that she would consume me, possess me and control overwhelming everything else I felt for her.
Now I watch her kiss him again, promising herself to him till death do them part in front of their family and friends. It means something a little bit different for both of them, unless Glenn choses to join her as a vampire in death. I can't see it though - not even as far as Glenn has come over the years.
It means that one day Ivy will be alone again, a vampire who could live forever with soul in tact. Barring anything drastic I'll be there too. Karma be a bitch, but my genetics will give me one more chance to get this right.
My hand tightens into a fist at my side, nails biting into my skin. If I get that second chance, I won't let myself screw it up. Someday I'll prove to Ivy that I am more than what my fears have constrained me to be. I can be the woman who's worthy of being her partner and equal.
I am the woman who loves her and one day when the time is right - for her - I'll show her that. For now, I'll force myself to be happy for her, support my best friend and wish her the best on the happiest day of her life.
I love her - no matter how big of mess I've made - what else can I do?
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