DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: What if Addison were McDreamy? Like the show, all titles were borrowed from songs. This one belongs to Aqualung.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

If I Fall
By Constantine


This is good. Just me, my tequila and the music from my unwanted house party filtering onto the porch as I sway back and forth to Prince. I'm not really much for dancing, but José does that to me. I close my eyes and slowly my shitty day falls to the back of my mind. There's no sick Mom who needs me to have power of attorney. There's no almost killing a patient because my fear and cowardice wouldn't allow me to speak up during surgery. The only adult-like thing on my mind is the liquid gold currently sliding down my throat.

"You know in some states you can get arrested for that." Addison's smooth voice caresses every part of me before I even open my eyes. When I do, I see her leaning against the door of her car as if showing up at my house is something she's used to. Now I've seen her look all kinds of sexy before, but this is ridiculous. Jeans, stilettos, and an incredibly tight and tailored red button down that's only halfway buttoned up all work together to clear my mind of any functional thought. It's a state I should be used to by now.

Addison pushes herself off her car and we meet halfway through my front yard. She tilts her head in that way she always does, smiles and says, "So you ditched me for a bottle of tequila."

She has this way of looking at me like I can tell her every secret I've ever had. It's irresistible. And frankly, I'm tired of resisting. I lean forward and taste the lips that have been starring in my dreams since our elevator escapades.

I'm not exactly sure how I end up straddling Addison in the driver's seat of her car, but my brain isn't receiving enough oxygen to truly worry about it. This kiss is different from the ones we've shared before. It's focused and intense. Its purpose is clear... making me spontaneously combust. My hand frantically searches the bottom of the seat for the lever that will allow us more room. She grabs my wandering hand and slowly slides my index finger into her mouth. Her tongue curls around it and my hips surge forward. The heat rising from between her legs scorches me. Her lips let go of my finger while her hand reaches down and succeeds where I failed. The seatback lowers to an almost horizontal position.

She lies back in the seat looking wanton and reckless with red hair spilling everywhere. Very deliberately, she unbuttons the remainder of her shirt and unclasps her bra. The moonlight filtering through the windows tints her creamy skin in moody shades of blue. My breath catches in my throat and everything seems to stop. My heartbeat pulsates off every available surface. It's not like we haven't done this before, but my stomach constricts with nerves because while José may have gotten me to take that first kiss, I am fully aware of everything that is going on in this moment. Like the way she licks her bottom lip and then bites it. Like the way her hands are unbuttoning my jeans. But most of all, like the way her eyes never leave mine. It may be in the front seat of her car, but it's for real this time and we both know it.

I lean forward and kiss all of my newly gained knowledge into her mouth. The low moan that growls up from the bottom of her throat makes my clit throb as if she were grazing it with her thumb. I move my lips down her neck, making a brief stop at her pulse point before I continue on to my main destination. I take her right nipple into my mouth, alternating biting with sucking.

"Jesus." Addison's voice comes out in a harsh whisper. She grabs the back of my head to keep me in place. I stay there until, insistently, her hips begin rocking beneath me. Working my way back up to her lips, I settle my groin over her thigh. A moan I would have been unable to suppress, regardless of my effort, shudders from my mouth.

It's impossible to know how long we have been in the car, but my body is telling me it's been long enough. Quickly, I unbutton her jeans and slip my fingers beneath the waistband of her panties. Instantly they are covered in her wetness. I glide one, then two, and then three of my fingers deep inside of her. Simultaneously, I press down against the hardness of her thigh and we both begin to rock back and forth. Our breath mingling in harsh pants is the only sound in the car. I lean in to trap her scream with my mouth as she tightens around my fingers. I thrust into her once more before she stiffens and then shudders. A minute later, my hips lose any sense of rhythm as I reach my peak.

For a while, neither of us have the strength to say anything. Our brains are too muddled to think and our bodies are too satisfied to move. I rest my head in the crook of her neck and try to catch my breath. After a moment, I sit back and gaze into her eyes with what I can only imagine is a look of absolute amazement.

"Fuck." I exhale.

"Yeah," Addison responds with a lopsided smile.

I lean in for another kiss, but a knock on the window causes my heart to jump into my throat.

"You mind moving this tail wagon? You're blocking me in." Dr. Bailey walks away before either of us can respond.

"Fuck." I whisper.

"Yeah," Addison says, this time without the smile.

The End

Return to Miscellaneous Fiction

Return to Main Page