DISCLAIMER: The characters herein are used without permission. No infringement intended.
CHALLENGE: Submitted for the first International Day of Femslash.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
I Don't... But I Do... For You
By Erin Griffin
Helena stared at her city as the sun slowy went down. She'd be on sweeps in a couple of hours when people are closing up shops. That was when all of the robberies occured. She held in her hand an envelope that held tickets to the ballet, and she looked from the sunset to the paper as if it held the answers she needed. It didn't, but still she hoped. Helena heard the footsteps before the voice they belonged to. "Hey Kid," she said, waving the envelope slowly, tapping them against her other hand.
"Are you okay?" Helena turned to look at the girl she had once reluctantly called her sister. Now she wouldn't hesitate to put that title to her. Though the nickname would always remain, Dinah had grown in the last two or three years they had been a family- especially after the Clocktower was broken into by Harleen Quinzell, and had become a beautiful young woman. Helena smiled and nodded. "Then why are you doing the Tall, Dark and Broody bit? Is there something you want to talk about?" Helena hesitated, then nodded her head.
"Actually, yes, I kinda do."
"Okay, go ahead." When Helena didn't say anything, the blonde smiled warmly. "Any time now," Helena smiled back and silently laughed.
"Well, I- Well... Okay, you've been with Gabby for.. like six, seven months now, right?" Dinah nodded. "Who asked who?" At this, Dinah grinned, thinking back at the night they had become more than friends. There was a big ugly on the street they were walking home from, and Dinah had no choice but to use her newest power at the time, the Canary Cry, on the man in order for them to escape. She had to explain to Gabby about everything, and once she started talking- babbling really- about her life, she also let it slip that she had been feeling more and more for her best friend.
"I don't know, really... Helena, are you having problems in the love department?"
"Not really, I mean... I think we feel the same about each other, but there was always something in the way... other lovers and such. The timing was never right and now-"
"Now the time is right?" Helena nodded. "Who is it? Reece?"
"Oh, no. We've known it would never work. I never really was sure about all that, and I think I... I think I used him to get rid of the feelings I'd harbored for h- someone else." Dinah nodded. She had been there. She hadn't been sure about her feelings for Gabby at first, and figured that because she hadn't been around many people who actually wanted to be near her first, she thought it was just her being desperate for some sort of connection with the human population. She was scared later when she found she would rather be in her best friend's arms than Matt's anyhow (as soon as she found something she had in common with the bastard and he finally returned her feelings in their senior year of high school).
"So, who is the lucky guy?" At this, Helena stayed quiet. "Okay, lucky girl, then?" Helena's head shot up. "Ah, so it IS a woman. I was only guessing. I didn't know you were family."
"I don't know what that means."
"It is a term in the gay comminity meaning that you are inclined that way." Helena smiled almost mischiviously.
"Well then, I guess I could have said the same thing about you. Seriously, I can't put any words to how I feel, or to what this lables me. I just know that I have loved her for years." At this, Dinah knew. Really, she thought, how could I have missed it? She was under their roof for more than three years, and she hadn't seen the way Helena was with Barbara.
"Okay, so you've loved Barbara for a long time now. Are you planning to ask her out? Is that what that is?" Dinah asked, pointing to the envelope Helena was playing with. Helena sighed.
"Yes. I just don't know how to ask her. I mean, I have asked her to go out on the town with me several times throughout the years, but I... I want this to not be just a few hours with the family, no offense." Dinah shook her head.
"None taken. I know what you mean though. It's tough taking it from friendship to something more than that."
"How did you and Gabby do it?" Dinah shrugged.
"After we sort of found out how we felt about each other, we sort of assumed that we would start to be more than that."
"Oh," Helena said.
"When I told her how I felt, Gabby said to me that she would like to be more than friends. Maybe with Barbara you can tell her how you want to be more tha friends with her." Helena thought this over.
"But she was once my gaurdian. I doubt she will ever forget that I was the pain in her side that she had to look out for when I was a teenager." Dinah shook her head.
"That was only two years tops of the ten that you've known her. Just ask her out tonight or whenever, and just tell her that this is a date. I don't think she would refuse." The brunette wasn't sure, but she nodded.
"I just have to... get some courage," she admitted.
"So, a four hundred pound man with swords coming from his hands gets a wise crack from you, but you're afraid of Barbara? I think this is serious."
"I would like for it to get that way. Anyway, I think Barbara's gonna be back from the teachers' meeting here soon, and I don't want her to... you know, hear this before I can find the right words to say." Dinah put a hand on Helena's shoulder.
"Good luck, Helena."
"Thanks, Kid. For helping me out, you know?"
"Hey, it's not everyday I get to be the one with the advice and words of wisedom. I am glad I could help." Dinah smiled and left to call Gabby. Having the conversation with Helena brought back memories of how she felt so nervous around her best friend at prom, when they danced together more than they had danced with their respective dates. She thought about asking her out for the night as well.
Helena, however, went up towards the loft and used the bathroom mirrors to make sure she looked okay. Sure, she was vain (or so Dinah had once said in a heated argument), but she was worth it. She frowned at the long scar that went from the bottom right of her lip to near the middle of her chin. Until that night with said four hundred pound 'Knife Guy' a year and a half ago, Helena's skin was flawless, and she hated having to see that damn scar everyday for the rest of her life. Barbara had once said she thought the scar added to her tough demeaner, and for a few moments, Helena had taken that as a compliment. Sure, it made her look tough, but she wasn't a freaking pirate. First a scar, then a patch over the eye. Wouldn't that be sexy, Barbara, Helena thought. She shook her head before sighing when she heard the elevator door open. She put the envelope in her pocket and walked down the ramp.
"Helena, hey. I didn't expect to see you here tonight. What brings you over?"
"You know, the usual," Helena, ever the communicative one, replied with a casual shrug. She didn't feel so casual, and both women knew it."A-Actually, I thought that... Well... I-" Damn it, Helena cursed in her head, Why can't I just say it? Why is it so easy for the kid and not for me? "Look, uh..."
"Helena?" The brunette stared at Barbara and reached behind her for the envelope, hoping that it would get her brain to work properly. When Barbara saw what was in her hand, she reached for them. Helena tried to get them from her, but Barbara always had faster and better relexes, and she managed to get the envelope from her. Helena watched in almost horror as she opened it. Barbara gasped. This was the show she had been wanting to see for the last couple of years, but she could never find the time to go when they were on tour.
"Eh- I mean... would you...with-with me? Not..." she trailed off, rolling her eyes at herself. "Not as... friends." Barbara looked up at her at this, and almost laughed at how uncomfortable Helena was, but the truth was, she had wanted to ask her out for a long time, but could never think of anything Helena would like to do that would say 'yes, this is a date'. Going to a wanna be 'Die Hard' flick hardly counted as romantic. When she could figure something out, her nerves would fail her completely, thinking that Helena wouldn't want to go on a date with a woman she thought of as almost a parent at one point.
"I didn't know you liked the ballet."
"I don't... but I do... for you." Barbara stared at Helena, and wondered when she would tug at her collar and let out some steam like the cartoon characters of old had.
"That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard anyone say to me," Barbara said. She reached up and touched Helena's face, her finger tracing the scar on her chin, which Barbara had thought was one of the bruntte's most stunning features. It made her think of all of the things that Helena 'did... but didn't... for her' over the years, and she smiled. She looked into beautiful blue eyes and said warmly, "I would love to go with you." Helena let out a breath of air that Barbara had assumed she was holding for a while. Barbara looked at the ticket date to find it was for the next night at eight and nodded. "So... tomorrow night, say... six? We can get dinner before hand."
"Uh-uh... yeah. I mean... I would like that. Six." Helena nodded eagerly, and Barbara had to use everything within her to keep her from laughing at the brunette's failed attempt to be cool about this.
"It's a date." Barbara said, emphasising the last word to hopefully let her know that she wanted to change the status of their relationship.
"Great. Well... uh, it is time for sweeps. I'll... see you later tonight- or- or tomorrow night... which... ever." Helena sighed, and wondered why she was being an idiot. On any other day when she was with Barbara, she was calm, collect, flirty, even. She couldn't understand why she was falling apart at that moment, especially now that Barbara had said yes to a date with her. "I should go before I make myself look even more stupid. I'll keep my comms on." Barbara nodded and watched Helena leave. She chuckled as soon as the elevator doors closed.
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