DISCLAIMER: I don't any of these characters, sorry for treading on any toes I do it only for my sanity.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wanted to write a fic for every day of my holiday, so 6 in total. This is number 1. (Sitting in a pub with my first pint of ale in ages, listening to Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits, my vision of Catherine dancing hit home once again <g>)
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

I Am, I Said
By Debbie

Catherine Willows was having a whale of a time. She and her sister, Nancy, were partaking in one of the many Las Vegas concerts on offer. As girls growing up in a quiet Montana town they had little opportunity to enjoy live performances of their mom's favorite artistes, so living in Vegas was perfect for them both. They tried to catch at least one live show a month, not only was it something they loved sharing, but it was also *their* time together.

So, once a month, Catherine called on the services of one of her friends to mind Lindsey. This was usually Sara Sidle who loved to take Lindsey to a soccer game, claiming indifference to children she in fact adored her Lindsey time and was trying to convert her to her favorite game. Tonight however she had claimed a prior engagement and so Lindsey was enjoying some quality time with Nick and Warrick. They had decided baseball was the game of choice, none of Sara's soft soccer.

Catherine didn't mind what sport her daughter enjoyed she was just pleased that she was happy and loved by the people Catherine cared for. And tonight she was just pleased to be able to sing and dance to one of her mom's favorites from way back when.

Neil Diamond, one of those male singers who just knew how to put on a live show. Nancy and Catherine had arrived early so they could get their spot towards the front of the stage ready to dance the night away. And that was just what they were doing, sharing laughs, smiles and chatty shouted comments whenever they could.

Suddenly the dancing blonde felt two strong arms grab her hips from behind and a head come to rest gently up against the side of her own. She felt a warm breath and a soft, husky voice begin to sing as they swayed joined hips from side to side:

Then I saw her face.
Now I'm a believer.
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm in love.
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried.


Trying to turn around, Catherine was held in place by the strong head, the comforting body, strong hands and words that seemed to be sung just for her:

Then I saw her face.
Now I'm a believer.
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm in love.

Catherine glanced towards her sister's face. Nancy was smiling bemusedly; she shrugged at Catherine and then locked eyes with the interloper. Seeing only dark friendly eyes winking conspiratorially and holding twinkling warmth, she relaxed at the sight and grinned back.

As the song played to a close, Catherine heard a warm, throaty laugh and the quiet words whispered across her cheek, "See you later, my dear Cat, " and then the mysterious dancer just disappeared into the crowd.

Turning to her sister, Catherine demanded, "Who the hell was that?"

Nancy shrugged and replied with a smile, "I have absolutely no idea but *she* was damn gorgeous."

Catherine laughed, "She huh? And gorgeous you say? Well here's to later."

The two sisters shared more laughter and then continued to dance the night away. Although Catherine occasionally scanned the crowd behind her she failed to spot anyone that knew her and that might have been her dancing partner. Gradually the blonde woman lost herself once again in the music and the atmosphere of the night.

As the night wore on Catherine resigned herself to the fact that it appeared the mystery woman was not going to reappear. Surprisingly she felt a degree of annoyance; how could someone make her feel so special for all of three minutes, promise to come back and then let her down.

When Neil Diamond began his second encore of the night, Catherine was amazed to hear a whisper in her ear, "Did you think I wasn't coming back, babe?"

As strong arms encircled her waist and grabbed both of her hands tight to her stomach, Catherine could only reply shyly, "uh uh."

Listening to the singing voice and coddled safely in the arms of her mysterious partner Catherine reined in her investigative skills. She could feel her guest was taller and more muscular than she was and that, despite her intrigue, she felt safe and surprisingly loved. She whispered, "Who are you? Do I know you?"

The only response was that the taller woman rested her chin on the smaller blonde's shoulder and sang:

"I am," I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair.

Glancing down as the words shivered across her soul, she saw her admirer had long graceful fingers that caressed gently across her knuckles, lovingly. The woman had a pleasant smell, a light hint of musk and something familiar that whispered like a memory across Catherine's senses. She thought she really should know that scent, that strength, but something was just alluding her recall.

"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

The words of the song continued to haunt Catherine's senses. Feeling welcomed, she leant back into the body behind her and teasingly ground her hips into the pelvis of her visitor. The woman gasped and gave a little chuckle. Both women felt a certain heat rise between their touching bodies. Catherine hadn't felt such passion in years and all with someone that she honestly had no idea of her identity.

The woman regained her poise and began to whisper rather than sing the next few words, speaking from her heart:

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried, but it won't let me go
And I'm not a woman who likes to swear
But I never cared for the sound of being alone.

The rest of the song words drifted through Catherine's subconscious as her mind was full of love and warmth, and thoughts of what she might do later with this wonderful woman. Contrary to popular misconception she wasn't one for picking up dates at the drop of a hat, Lindsey put paid to that notion, but tonight she was more than tempted by this beautiful dancer. She was sure Nancy would understand.

"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still.

The song finished to tumultuous applause and Catherine began to turn in the arms that held her. Expecting to share a wondrous kiss she was pulled up short by firm pressure and a sincere voice, "No, Cat, if you ever really hear my words you can come and get me. Until then goodnight."

With a tickling, gentle kiss to Catherine's earlobe and a delightful chuckle, the mysterious woman added gently, "If you want more, come find me, Catherine."

Something in the intonation of her name made Catherine jump in surprise, but swinging around quickly her admirer had disappeared into the crowd. As she scanned the group behind her Catherine saw nobody that she recognized. She sighed loudly.

Nancy laughed and said, "Something tells me that beauty has you more than a little intrigued, maybe even frustrated, huh? Who was it Catherine? You must know."

Catherine grinned ruefully, "I don't Nance. Or I don't think I do. Something she just said made me think of... but no, *she* hates me... so no. *That* woman, *that* body, cared for me."

She groaned again and looked up into the bemused grin of her sister.

"What? Jeez Nance, I haven't felt like that in years and she was only dancing with me, just think what I could have. Come on, take me somewhere quiet and describe her to me in detail. I must know her, she obviously knew me. I must be able to find her. Hell, I need to find her... and soon."

Linking arms the sisters laughed and walked out of the auditorium, looking for a quiet bar to finish off their evening well.

They compared notes over long Martinis, Catherine admitting to the feelings that had coursed through her whole body and imploring Nancy to give her a clue.

"I couldn't get a really good view other than to see she was gorgeous, but I guess you know that from the body, huh?"

Groaning at the innuendo, Catherine begged, "Come on, Nance. Just describe her."

Nancy concentrated and said, "Ok. Well she was taller than you, very lean and muscular. She seemed to have very dark hair and eyes to match. Deep brown eyes that dragged you in with their twinkle, especially when she smiled. Oh, and when she smiled, she had a delightful little gap between her two front teeth."

Catherine sat up straighter and grinned ferally, "Sara!"


The following evening, Sara Sidle was putting her coat and jacket in her locker ready for the long hard pull of another night shift when she felt two strong arms encircle her waist.

A gentle voice began to hum an instantly recognizable tune in her ear and she felt her hips moved gently from side to side. The dance was erotic in its simplicity and she felt her heart jump at the contact and the words that followed, "Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer, not a trace of doubt in my mind, I'm in love..."

Turning the taller CSI towards her Catherine Willows smiled and stared into the ebony eyes of the women in front of her. "I found you, Sara. I hear you, Sara." Then she continued in a quiet sincere voice, saying words that Sara only just heard, "Don't you ever leave me behind again."

Pulled forward to share the smaller woman's space and breath, Sara could only manage a teasing, "No?"

Catherine stared again and touched her lips to Sara's waiting smile. Then drawing back she replied with force, "No."

The kiss that followed was all that being at work allowed but Sara never did.

The End

I'M A BELIEVER

Written by Neil Diamond

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me
Love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted all my dreams

Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

I thought love was more or less a giving thing
Seems the more I gave, the less I got
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I needed sunshine, I got rain

Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

1966 Colgems-EMI Music Inc. (ASCAP) and Stonebridge Music= (ASCAP)

I AM... I SAID

Written by Neil Diamond

L.A.'s fine, the sun shines most the time
And the feeling is 'lay back'
Palm trees grow, and rents are low
But you know I keep thinkin' about
Making my way back

Well I'm New York City born and raised
But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores
L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home
New York's home, but it ain't mine no more

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one
Well except for the names and a few other changes
I you talk about me, the story's the same one

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried, but it won't let me go
And I'm not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared for the sound of being alone

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

1971 Prophet Music, Inc. (ASCAP)

Return to C.S.I. Fiction

Return to Main Page