DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters are the property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: A little ditty to add to the holiday series. Certainly not what America Recycles Day is all about – but there is recycling of a sort… :-) This quickie follows Art Imitates Life and IDoF and serves as my editorial on the sad state of SVU these days.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To sunsetwriter[at]mindspring.com
SERIES: Part of the Holiday Shorts series.
Holiday Short – America Recycles Day
By sunsetwriter
"Oh, not again," Olivia grumbled as she watched the latest episode of Truth and Justice.
"What?" Alex asked as she sat down next to Olivia with a bowl of popcorn.
"Another recycled plot line." Olivia shook her head. "And this show used to be so good."
"It's definitely lost it's edge," Alex agreed.
"It all went to hell when they got rid of the hot, blonde ADA," Olivia said with an exasperated sigh as she picked up a piece of popcorn.
Alex rolled her eyes. "You just liked drooling over her."
"Yeah. So?"
"Although, I will admit, the show was much more plausible from a legal standpoint when her character was the prosecutor. The revolving door of ADAs lately has been somewhat distracting, to say the least," Alex conceded.
Olivia nodded. "At least this one doesn't sound like she's reading from a cue card. But it's just not the same without ADA McHottie."
Alex chuckled. "Well, the detectives aren't any better these days either. Detective Almost-Butch from several seasons ago would never wear such dangly earrings and a pink hoodie," she said as she gestured toward the screen. "And would it kill her to cut her hair short again?"
Olivia smirked. "Now who's drooling?"
Alex cut her eyes toward her girlfriend. "Not so much anymore. At least the leather jacket is making an appearance again this season."
"What is it with you and leather?"
Alex shrugged. "You like glasses, I like leather," she said matter-of-factly.
Olivia sighed. "God, I miss those glasses…"
"Have we seen this one before?" Alex asked with a frown as she watched the scene unfolding.
Olivia gestured toward the TV with her free hand as she reached for more popcorn with the other. "I told you! It's another recycled plot from three seasons ago. I think all the good writers must have flown the coop with Blondie."
Alex frowned again. "Wait, Detective Butchy has a kid now?"
Olivia scoffed. "Oh, don't even get me started on that. Anyone in their right mind should know that taking in a foster child is not a good idea for a single woman who is a police detective. I mean, what kind of child protective services would allow such a thing? Not to mention the fact that this woman lives in a one-bedroom apartment and has no support system to help her out with parenting a pre-teen boy. I don't care how many kids the actress has, Detective Butchy is not maternal."
Alex looked amused. "I'm glad you didn't get started on that…"
Olivia tossed a piece of popcorn at Alex. "Smartass."
"I learned from the best," the ADA said as she nudged Olivia with her elbow.
Olivia smirked again and turned her attention back to the television. "And another thing – the captain should grow a pair and stop letting those two get away with such sloppy police work. They never gather evidence anymore. They just go around accusing people of crimes and then badgering them until a better suspect gets dropped in their laps."
"Didn't there used to be more than two detectives?" Alex asked.
"Yeah. I have no idea what happened to the others. One of them pops up every now and then, but then disappears back into oblivion. Now it seems to be the Dynamic Duo Show. Too bad they're just not dynamic anymore."
Alex frowned again as she watched the screen. "Oh no… It's bad enough that she let her hair get that long, but someone needs to tell her not to wear it pulled up like that. It makes her look like an old school marm."
Olivia looked curiously at Alex. "As if you know what an 'old school marm' looks like."
"Hey," Alex said defensively. "I used to watch Little House on the Prairie."
Olivia laughed and looked back at the screen. "Oh my God, you're right. Especially when she wears that nuddle-thing too. It's Laura Ingalls 2.0." The detective visibly shuddered.
Alex smiled mischievously. "Until she goes undercover as a stripper named Vixen – again."
Olivia laughed. "And rescues the reindeer being smuggled out of Siberia on the very special Christmas episode."
"Wait, I think I've seen that one." Alex pretended to ponder the thought.
They both laughed as the announcer's voice could be heard in the background. "Stay tuned for scenes from next week's very special episode of Truth and Justice…"
Olivia rolled her eyes, picked up the remote, and turned off the TV as she stood up. "That's it. I'm going to go log on to that website and see if there's any new stories about those two. At least there, Butchy and McHottie are still kicking ass and taking names." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Among other things…"
Alex picked up the popcorn and quickly followed Olivia. "Hey, wait for me…"
The End