DISCLAIMER: Not mine. I promise I'm only borrowing them and will return them to their rightful owners whenever they ask for them back. My imagination took a flight of fancy.....my bank account stayed empty. (Seriously, the cast of SVU belong to Dick Wolf and I'm only borrowing them for some free daydreaming that I wrote down.).
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
It's English Liv….but not as you know it!
By ncruuk
"Well?" prompted Cragen as Olivia closed the interview room door behind her. "I always want you Detective, but it's good to know you'll be there if I need you" before she slipped into the interview room, enjoying the blush on Olivia's face.
"I have no idea" she sighed resignedly.
"Has he explained what happened or not?" he continued.
"I really don't know."
"Why not?"
"I don't speak the language" admitted Olivia, frustrated.
"But you're our language person, other than Hebrew. Is that it? Do I need Munch?" tried Cragen exasperatedly, the stress of the case getting to them all.
"It's not Hebrew."
"So what is it? I'll call the State Department, they can send us an interpreter" Right now, Cragen was happy to call in all his favours, he just needed to know what had happened.
"Problem Captain?" asked a new voice.
"Alex, you speak any languages?"
"Other than American, American Bar Standard and Latin, no. Why?"
"Because we can't understand a word this guy's saying" explained Cragen dejectedly.
"What's he supposed to be telling you?"
"What actually happened in his apartment an hour ago. Neighbours called in what sounded like a gang attack."
"Oh, Olivia tried?"
"It's not a language I know...it's weird...I recognise all the words but I just can't put my finger on it" explained Olivia, smiling sadly at Alex.
"Oh. He violent?"
"A perfect gentleman" Olivia's assessment gave Alex an idea.
"Can I go in on my own then?" asked Alex, wondering if her hunch would be correct.
"Sure. We'll be in the Observation Room" agreed Cragen readily, missing the look of total fear cross Olivia's face at the thought of her lover being in there alone with a guy.
"I'll be ok Liv" reassured Alex softly, smiling tenderly at Olivia, understanding the look.
"I'll be right here if you want me" confirmed Olivia softly. Seeing that Cragen was already in the Observation Room, Alex took advantage of their relative privacy to whisper.
"Good morning" breezed Alex, settling down in the chair.
"And the same to you."
"My colleague, Detective Benson was just talking with you?"
"About my movements at the luncheon hour, yes."
"Where were you at about noon?"
"In the flat, enjoying my ploughman's."
"Alone?"
"Apart from Blowers and Aggers and the gang from TMS, yes."
"I see" Alex couldn't help but smile at the response.
"Am I nicked?"
"No, you're not nicked. A slight misunderstanding I think. What were the TMS gang talking about?"
"Freddie bashing the old warhorse over the top."
"Anything else?" Alex was now totally relaxed and smiling, confusing the hell out of Cragen and Benson.
"It was very exciting. Another 6 and it would be all over..."
"Did they get them?"
"Yes. Silly point standing at leg, meant they got five when the ball tangled with the helmet, made the warhorse mad, so next one popped his crease and it was all over."
"Blowers probably became excited, checking the rules with Bearders?" asked Alex, amused.
"Certainly, shouting and calling for the rules on balls clattering helmets. It was legendary."
"I can imagine. One last question?"
"Of course."
"Do you have 'surround sound'?"
"Yes, I admit, I like to hear the sound of leather on well oiled willow clearly. It probably disturbs the neighbours. Am I breaking a bye-law?"
"Not that I know of, but you might consider turning it down in future. I'm sorry about this misunderstanding. You're free to go."
Smiling broadly, Alex opened the door and let their 'suspect' precede her out of the room. As she watched him exit the squad room, she became aware of a fuming Cragen and Benson crowding her from behind.
"You want to tell me why you let him walk out of here Counsellor?"
"He's innocent, and there wasn't a crime."
"Excuse me?"
"Radio, Don, he was listening to sports commentary on the radio" explained Alex patiently, settling herself down in her usual perch on Olivia's desk.
"Sports commentary?"
"Cricket. England vs Australia. They were playing today in London. The TMS Gang is the colloquial name for the commentators of Test Match Special, the radio show that provides commentary for cricket."
"Blowers and Aggers?" asked Don suspiciously.
"Henry Blowfeld and Jonathon Agnew, with Bill "The Bearded Wonder" Frindall, are all commentators, although technically Bearders is the scorer" Alex ran a sympathetic hand along Olivia's arm as she flopped down into her chair, her weariness and frustration obvious.
"What about Freddie bashing the old warhorse over the top?" she asked suspiciously.
"Freddie is Andrew Flintoff, an England batsman known for his big shots. The Old Warhorse is Glenn McGrath, Australia's senior bowler...." Alex paused, realising she was going to have to come up with an analogy.
"...It's about the same as the Red Sox hitting the Yankees star pitcher out of the stadium."
"Oh....ok" Olivia seemed to be accepting that this was perhaps just an unfortunate cultural misunderstanding, but Don was less accepting.
"Balls tangling with helmets?" He was sure that sounded sexual....not to mention painful.
"Close fielders, when fielding at 'Silly Point' can wear a helmet. If they move to a position further away and safer, say one of the leg positions, they remove the helmet and place it on the ground, hopefully out of the way. If the batsman hits the ball and it
collides with the helmet that's on the ground, they get bonus runs, five in fact. It's a rare occurrence, so when it happens, everyone gets excited and has to check the rules. It's like a trick shot almost" Alex took her glasses off and pinched the bridge of her nose...she'd come across to see if Olivia would grab a late lunch with her, and instead, well, the laws of cricket, fascinating as they were, were not the ideal medication for her migraine.
"Mark Twain..." murmured Olivia, seeing the funny side finally.
"Benson?"
"Twain, said something about this...." she trailed off as she tried to remember the quotation.
"That it's a good walk spoiled?" asked Don.
"No, that's golf, this is cricket, you know, the game the English play with lots of men in white? Takes days and they have breaks for lunch and tea" clarified Alex wearily.
"Oh" Don frowned.
"Two nations divided by a common language!" proclaimed Olivia proudly suddenly.
"What?" Don was not following.
"Twain, said of America and England, that they were two nations, divided by a common language" explained Alex, deciding from the state of Olivia's desk that she must not have had any lunch yet.
"Can I take Olivia for lunch?"
"Sure, send her back in an hour."
Sighing in relief, Alex pushed off the desk and began to head towards the door, Olivia only too happy to gather up her jacket and follow her lover.
"Alex?" wearily, Alex stopped and turned back to Don, her expression encouraging him to continue.
"How did you know that?"
"Know what?"
"What the guy was talking about?"
"The summer before Law School, I interned as a clerk for a Judge in London. He was a cricket fan, and one of my jobs was to listen to TMS as I worked, summarising play for him. Taught me multitasking he thought. I still read the reports sometimes on the web. It was an exciting game..."
"Oh"
Before Don could think of anything to say, Alex's stomach rumbled very loudly, causing her to blush and Olivia to grin. Taking her girlfriend by the arm, Olivia began to lead Alex out of the squad room, amazed once again at the many talents of her girlfriend...
"Enjoying his ploughman?"
Smirking, Alex glanced at her watch.
"Seeing as I don't have to be in court for two hours, you fancy trying mine?"
Olivia stood frozen to the spot, her jaw hanging....just what the hell was Alex talking about now?
The End