DISCLAIMER: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and its characters are the propert of James Cameron and Fox. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It annoys me how Sarah is protrayed in the series, comparative to the films. She respected the terminator in the second film but she hates Cameron was a passion. In an effort to try and explain that inconsistency, I ended up with this. Honest to God, my intentions were pure when I started out. *laughs*
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Dangerous Realisations
By Aurora
The resounding clap of Sarah's hand striking Cameron across the cheek echoed through the dark kitchen, long after she had lowered her arm. For her part, Cameron just seemed to blink back at the other woman, an angry hand-print beginning to take form across her pale skin. She hadn't blinked or averted her gaze at all and Sarah was under no illusions that Cameron could have stopped her movements had she really wanted to, and she had to have known it was coming.
Cameron tilted her head to the side quizzically. "Do you feel better now?" She asked, with just a hint of wariness in her voice, as though she feared being hit again if Sarah hadn't tempered her anger with the first strike.
Sarah sighed deeply, staggering backwards away from Cameron, the weight of her actions suddenly pressing down on her already weary shoulders. When she came to rest on the kitchen worktop, she could barely bring herself to look into Cameron's eyes. "No." She said bitterly.
"Would you like to hit me again?" Cameron asked, tilting the same cheek for better access as she took a step towards the other woman.
Sarah looked up at Cameron's innocent expression and felt a well of fury suddenly rise from within her. She pushed herself free of the worktop, came flush against Cameron's breathing chest and bore into her with eyes of murder. "I'd like to kill you…" She said slowly, deliberately, watching as Cameron's brown irises contracted and then expanded at the words. "I'd like to tear you apart inch by inch, with my bare hands, right down to your endoskeleton, and then break you up until you were nothing but bolts and wires." She breathed deep. "I'd so like to hurt you…"
"I don't feel pain like you do." Cameron said placidly after a few moments of tight silence, either oblivious or unconcerned for the wealth of hatred that Sarah was projecting at her.
"Like I do?" Sarah bit back savagely, looking Cameron up and down as though she had committed some unspeakable, despicable crime. "You don't feel at all. You're not even real; you're somebody's toy that got out of control."
Again the silence seemed to stretch out into long minutes where both women simply looked at the other, into the other and perhaps through each other. The dark hour made it difficult to see all their features but what couldn't be communicated through facial expression was compensated for in openly hostile body language, cutting words and killer threats.
Cameron didn't know what she had done, this time, to deserve another flaying from Sarah. She would find out, however. "I'm a cybernetic organism." She started with, placing a gentle but firm finger over Sarah's lips when the woman went to object. Her touch was angrily removed with a swipe of Sarah's hand but Cameron continued talking. "I feel pain and I feel emotions." Her eyes looked down and then up again in a show of almost-human insecurity. "I'm as real as you are."
Sarah saw red, unable to articulate the intensity of the fear and the anger that suddenly possessed her. She lunged for the knife stack on the counter, pulling free the largest and pressed it unmercifully into Cameron's abdomen, just below her ribs. Had she done so to another living human they would have staggered back with their hands clutched to their body in writhing agony, most likely to die moments later. But not Cameron; not a machine.
"You're making me bleed." She said dispassionately, briefly glancing at the tip of the carving knife that had pierced through her thin white tank top and was cutting into her skin. A rivulet of blood made its way down her stomach to pool at the waistband of her underwear.
"You can take it." Sarah snarled back, pressing a little harder and herding Cameron towards the wall. She looked down at the trickle of blood that was beginning to drip along the blade of the knife, a feral grin making her face look more like a death mask in the half-light. "That's not even blood."
Cameron's back was now to the wall. "It's my blood." She answered meaningfully, wrapping a hand around Sarah's wrist and drawing it back and away from her body. "And I feel it." A red mark where the blood was still seeping through the cotton of her tank top was getting bigger every moment. The blade was still in Sarah's hand, which was in Cameron's, hanging between them heavily.
"Let me go." Sarah whispered into the dark, her voice a deep timbre that heralded the depth of fury she was harbouring for the monstrosity before her.
"No." Cameron's grip remained inescapable. "If I release you, you will only continue to try and damage me." Her gaze didn't waver. "It would ultimately lead to you being harmed, not I."
It wasn't worth trying to argue the point; Sarah knew just as well as anyone that even armed with a carving knife, there was virtually nothing she could do to defend herself from Cameron. Any confrontation between them would most likely lead to Sarah swallowing the knife, blade first, through her forehead; if she was lucky. She didn't particularly want to think what would happen if she were to be unlucky…
But despite that, the visceral tension that made her blood feel too hot, her skin too tight and her heart thump wildly in her chest, would not subside. No matter how the odds were stacked against her, she couldn't let the machines win. She had to fight until the end, if not for her own pride but for the fate of the rest of the world.
Oblivious to Sarah's still increasing energy, Cameron began to speak again. "I'm different." She said, looking for all the world as though she were an insecure teenage girl suddenly realising that she might be gay, or that she had some incurable disease that sectioned her off from her peers. "When I was created they made me different."
Sarah couldn't help it. "What the fuck does that mean?"
"I'm sentient." She replied calmly. There was silence in response to the statement so Cameron took that as leave to continue. "I'm more than just a machine; I think for myself, I make decisions and…" She stopped, suddenly vulnerable again, and released the hand that held the knife. "I don't want you to hurt me anymore."
She reached a tentative finger up to the blood pool on her stomach and tried to staunch the bleeding with a little pressure. Sarah remained motionless, watching the display of helplessness with the knife still raised to Cameron's chest. She was suddenly no longer angry, but now truly terrified.
"What else do you want…?" She asked cautiously, simultaneously frightened of the answer and curious for it.
Cameron looked up from her stomach, directly into Sarah's tremulous brown eyes and said without hesitation, "I want to be trusted."
A terminator… A woman… A person under all that synthetic skin and metal bodywork.
Sarah felt a chill of revulsion inch up her spine. "I trust me." She said hotly. "Not a gun or a car."
She knew the comparison was horribly inconsistent because Cameron was far more 'real' than a car. But she didn't care. As far as she was concerned, Cameron would never be able to gain her trust because she was nothing more than another machine; a microwave, a VCR or a sound system; all microchips and wires that could be manipulated to do her bidding and she hated them all equally. Something man-made could never be its own master and in a position to gain trust.
"John trusts me." Cameron returned vehemently, harder than even she knew she could.
Sarah scoffed. "You're convenient. Don't mistake that for anything more than strategic tolerance."
"He sent me back to watch over him." Cameron insisted, expression utterly human in its conviction. "He said only I could save him."
"He was lying." Sarah shot back angrily, perversely exhilarated when she saw a crack in Cameron's composure shatter her confidence.
Another bout of silence, this one profound and painful, broke up the flow of conversation between the woman and machine. With the words that had been spoken however, an onlooker to the confrontation could be forgiven for mistaking which was the woman and which was the machine.
Cameron's consciousness was reeling, unable to process this new piece of information properly. Her recordings, 'memories', were clear; John had said that he trusted her to protect him and his mother from all those that would come after them. He had even joked that she could most likely protect them from themselves, too. And on top of that, as well as the irrefutable memories she contained, had been the physical analysis of John's body at the time. All of which made Cameron sure that she hadn't been lied to.
But this new feeling, one she had previously only known by name, disturbed her equilibrium.
She doubted herself… Sarah did that to her.
Before embarking on her mission into the past, Cameron had been extensively trained by John himself on becoming more human. Part of her training had been to familiarise her systems with the encounters of Sarah and John Connor with SkyNet.
She had learned from her research that Sarah Connor had been a waitress in a small diner before Kyle Reese had been sent back in time to protect her. And despite being at her weakest state, her most untrained, the mission to assassinate her had been a failure and John Connor had been born approximately eight and a half months later.
A second assassination attempt was made, also a failure, but directed at John Connor rather than Sarah Connor.
They had the aid of a reprogrammed T-101 model during this event and Cameron had absorbed this information almost hungrily. Because of this she knew how Sarah had responded to the aid of a machine; forced to work with the very thing that given a different set of circumstances wouldn't hesitate to kill her. Hadn't hesitated, in fact…
The Sarah Connor then had been more accepting of the help of the terminator, even going so far as to appreciate the solidness of his protection and constant vigilance. But never had there been anything suggesting she may have regarded the machine as anything more than just that. Most likely because the model was socially flawed and designed for combat rather than for infiltration. John had explained once, with a rather amused smile, that it was hard to get attached to a machine whose idea of conversation was to beat the answers out of those that withheld information.
Cameron on the other hand had been designed with subterfuge in mind, giving her the computing power necessary to 'learn' to be human. Not to mention being infinitely more aesthetically pleasing…
And then suddenly Cameron was struck with a notion, startlingly clear now that had reviewed previous information. She looked back up at Sarah who was still standing so very close to her, knife gone slack in a tired grip as she looked at Cameron's face.
"You fear me because I'm different." Cameron whispered. "Because I make you feel."
All the other models had been too much machine. Cameron was just enough human to be dangerous.
Sarah's heartbeat suddenly started beating triple time, Cameron's slight frame taking a step toward her so that she could feel the heat coming off her body. The knife fell to the floor with a loud clatter and her back pressed to the worktop, effectively trapping her. She put her hands up to Cameron's body to push her back but as soon as she made contact, she pulled them back as if burned.
"You forget sometimes." Cameron continued, her eyes roving over Sarah. "Like today, when I rescued John. You felt my decision was rash, too human. That's why you hit me." She leaned in closer. "I frightened you."
Sarah swallowed heavily, pushing a knot of feeling back down into her stomach. "You nearly got John killed."
Cameron continued, ignoring Sarah's accusation. "The other terminator didn't frighten you. He couldn't. He wasn't human."
"You're not either." She insisted, but the words sounded unsure even to her own ears.
Cameron leaned closer to Sarah still, so close that her breath, hot and slightly damp, brushed over the fine hairs on Sarah's neck, making her eyes unconsciously roll into the back of her head. "But I do have humanity." She continued, unconcerned by the hand that had subconsciously reached up to latch tightly onto her underwear.
Sarah couldn't deny it, as much as she wanted to. Because the truth had already been spoken; Cameron was more human, more real, than all those others that SkyNet sent after them. She was almost like a child trapped in a woman's body, learning to be a woman as she went along. Sometimes the transition was smooth and sometimes it was like trying to force a square brick into a circle-shaped hole; it jarred.
But with every day Cameron became more of the personality she aspired to be. And Sarah relied on her more and more with each day too, falling prey to the subtle transition from machine to woman. It didn't really matter that she was made from metal and wires, they were essentially the same. It only mattered that Cameron was an individual in her own right.
She was falling into a trap, Sarah knew. This kind of stealth, this stratagem of infiltration, was exactly what Cameron had been designed for, but it was too real and too right. There was nothing artificial about the way Cameron pressed into her body, so unassuming and so incredibly aware at the same time.
"And you want me…" Cameron whispered after another protracted silence, this time her voice unmistakably sexy as her lips brushed the corded muscle in Sarah's neck, her words reverberating through the other woman's skull.
"I don't." Sarah gritted out, biting so hard on her lower lip that she was tearing the skin, trying to ignore the gentle fingers exploring the gap between her loose shorts and shirt, as well as the effect Cameron' word had on her.
Cameron's answering chuckle nearly made her faint it was so deep and powerful, rolling right into her blood and seemingly bypassing her ears. The heat that had been confined to her skin was now flashing along her bones and every nerve. And so lost in the sensory overload due to Cameron's ever increasing proximity, Sarah almost missed the sound of heavy breathing filling the kitchen, utterly mortified a moment later to realise it was her.
She couldn't let this happen. She should be stopping Cameron's gentle, frustratingly gentle, exploration of her hips and abdomen. As well as the fleeting kisses along the muscles in her shoulders, neck and jaw.
But God help her, she didn't want to…
Cameron threaded her fingers up into Sarah's hair, coiling the strands about her fingers and pulling backwards so that Sarah's throat was exposed to her lips. She kissed along the outline of her muscles, catching her teeth on a tendon and eliciting a sharp hiss from Sarah in response. Her own smile was practically wicked as she continued, pressing her lips lightly to Sarah's.
"You can't lie to me." She teased, voice frustratingly husky.
Sarah's fingers dug sharply into Cameron's back, the material under her fingers bunching up as she tried to press closer to Cameron, to gain more of the contact that she couldn't deny herself. Words were lost on her however, practically choking on the small growling noises that were inching up her throat every time Cameron pressed into her body.
There was no use denying it anyway, regardless of whether she had the voice to or not. Sarah knew that Cameron was well aware of her emotional state; suddenly aroused to the point of being in pain, verging on aggressive as she hungrily urged Cameron to continue, bare feet slipping on the cool tiles. To refute the obvious would only bring them back to arguing the point of humanity, or lack thereof, and that was counterproductive for what Sarah really wanted.
She grabbed the back of Cameron's neck, burying into her shoulder as the terminator's hips rocked into her own, this time unable to stop the breathy moan that escaped her at the all too brief contact. She could taste sweat on her lips from Cameron's skin, feel the muscles in the smaller woman's frame trembling with exertion and a wave of heat roll over her every time Cameron breathed out. Combined it was completely human and unstoppably provocative.
"Touch me." She begged, no longer surprised by the want in her voice.
Cameron obliged, placing the flat of her hands under the back of Sara's shirt, just above her hips, pushing up slowly and deliberately. She caught the straps to Sarah's bra as she did so, drawing out a startling cry that was somewhat muffled by her shoulder. Then the shirt was off and on the floor, leaving Sarah only in her bra and shorts, skin flushed and heaving.
Cameron looked at the newly exposed skin for long moments before absently trailing her thumb over Sarah's bra-clad nipple, fascinated when the action caused all the muscles in Sarah's body to contract at once, throwing her head back to a position where Cameron could resume kissing her neck. When she repeated the action, feeling the skin of Sarah's breast tighten under her ministrations, she almost lost a fistful of hair, a loud hiss echoing through the kitchen.
Then she suddenly looked up, withdrawing her hand so it rested just below Sarah's ribs. "Where…?" She asked, utterly fascinated by the way Sarah's hand was still gripping at her hair, the other still clawing into her back. But the only response was a groan of anguish so Cameron was forced to ask again, leaning close and taking the sensitive skin of Sarah's ear into her lips as she spoke in a low whisper. "Where do you want me to touch you?"
Sarah was on the verge of tears. Her muscles were drawn so taught she thought she might snap at any moment and Cameron's touches were too hesitant to sate her hunger, only succeeding in driving her absolutely wild. She felt like a teenager again, lost in the throes of her first sexual encounter with someone woefully out of their depth but unbearably arousing.
She wanted Cameron to touch her everywhere; to come undone into these hands that were so unskilled yet so talented. When she tried to articulate her response, she found she couldn't speak past the hoarseness in her throat or the matted, sweat-soaked strands of her hair that clung to her face. She found she didn't need to either as her bra gave way under Cameron's fingers a second later.
"Fuck!" She bit out, voice a breathy gasp as Cameron's lips suddenly closed over an aching nipple, no longer obstructed by her bra, and used her tongue to toy with the sensitive flesh. Both her hands were wrapped around the terminator's head, clinging so tightly that her fingers were beginning to throb with the effort and she arched up into the contact, her foot tracing up the long plane of Cameron's calf as her hips rocked forward in search of pressure.
The touch was excruciating, cutting through Sarah like a hot knife but it felt so good. It went on for what seemed like an eternity, her back arched at an impossible angle as she tried to get closer and closer to the source of pleasure. She knew she'd started moaning and gasping loud enough for it to echo through the house, the rock of her hips into Cameron's repeatedly drawing out one frustrated cry after another, accompanied by the tenuous control she had over her breathing rate.
She'd never been more glad of Derek's invitation to take John away for the evening.
When she thought she could tolerate no more of Cameron's touch, needing her elsewhere, she felt the sharp tug of teeth on the swollen flesh and actually let out a noise that was more of a strangled scream than anything else. Then Cameron's mouth slipped away, the cool air hitting her skin instantly and she whimpered at the loss. She could already feel herself reaching up more, impossible as it seemed, to close the gap between Cameron and her other breast that was begging for attention. And Cameron didn't disappoint.
She lost herself in the rhythmic tease of Cameron's lips and tongue on her torso, the way her own hands were still fisting at the long tangle of brown hair that fell over her chest and the grinding of their hips. For a moment she felt as though she were merely a spectator to her own body, watching the way Cameron had her pressed against the kitchen worktop and was devouring her.
The sensation lasted only a moment before Sarah slammed back into awareness, Cameron's fingers slipping beneath the waistband of her shorts to cup her through the very thin barrier of her underwear. Her lips had moved from her breast, her tongue hot as it trailed the contours of her muscles on a path back to her ear. Sarah shut her eyes tightly in anticipation of the touch to her ear but it didn't nearly prepare her for the assault on her senses; she groaned again.
"Tell me what you want, Sarah." Cameron coaxed, deliberately moving her hand back every time Sarah tried to arch further into the touch. Her voice was lower than it normally was, almost like a caress.
Sarah was sure she couldn't hold back the tears of frustration for much longer, completely unashamed of the way her hips were beginning to move on their own. When she managed to speak, voice tight, she was desperate. "Please, Cameron…" She had a fist in her own hair now, biting her lips again.
But Cameron didn't relent, still mesmerised by the control she could have over Sarah at just the smallest of touches. Through the cotton underwear she could feel an immense heat that was wet against her fingers despite the barrier between their skin. And the way Sarah arched into her, on the verge of begging, was causing an odd sensation to channel through her; she wanted more of it.
Cameron kissed the corner of Sarah's mouth, a hint of blood from her lips sticking to her own. "Tell me." She insisted, punctuating the words with a sharp press of her fingers through the cotton.
It earned her the desired response. Sarah's head shot forward to look her squarely in the eye, hand clamping around Cameron's wrist and rotating the hand that was in her shorts, grinding her hips into the movement with a wanton growl. "Touch me." She ordered, eyes fluttering closed less than a second later as Cameron repeated the action. "I want you to touch me." She pleaded, so lost in her arousal she didn't even care that a terminator had reduced her to begging for sex.
Cameron removed her hand completely from Sarah's shorts, ignoring the short-lived whimper at the loss before it was followed by a moan when she replaced her hand with her thigh. She still had Sarah trapped between herself and the counter, rocking into her with carefully controlled strength.
Sarah could feel the bones of her pelvis pushing uncomfortably against the hard wooden surface of the worktop but she didn't care, only pushing back as strong as she could to increase the sensation of pressure against her. She tried to grab hold of Cameron's body for support but her hands slipped along the slick skin, unable to keep her purchase.
The gasping in the kitchen was suddenly shattered by the tearing of fabric and Sarah only belatedly realised that Cameron had torn her shorts right down the front, leaving the apex of her thighs exposed but for her underwear. And she didn't think they would be lasting long either.
Cameron placed the flat of her hand against Sarah's stomach, clawing her fingers forward so that her nails scorched hot lines down the smooth skin. Sarah responded beautifully, arching into the touch and allowing Cameron to remove her thigh from between her legs whilst simultaneously replacing it with her hand.
She hadn't been ready for the sensation of Sarah's slick, wet skin against her own fingers and it rocked all her senses to the point of scrambling her awareness. Sarah felt wonderful, clenched around her fingers and rocking into the touch without inhibition, tears channelling down her cheeks as she began to stroke the length of her over and over.
She was aware of human sexual relations, in enough detail to initiate an encounter if the situation required, but never before had Cameron truly understood what it meant to hold another in your embrace and do things to them that they were almost ashamed to ask for. Nothing could have prepared her for the heat of Sarah's thighs, the way her muscles strained against her embrace and the short, gasping breaths that echoed around their heads. Cameron found that she wanted more, almost as desperate as Sarah to continue their embrace to its climax.
Nor could she have prepared for the sudden, overwhelming sensation of concern that she felt for the woman in her arms. In this moment in time, Sarah was immensely vulnerable and it would be so easy to take advantage. But Cameron realised that unconsciously Sarah had given her trust over, allowing the touch that could just as easily harm as it could arouse. It made her smile.
With a broad swipe of her tongue, Cameron collected the sweat off Sarah's torso, once again grazing an impossibly sensitive breast and feeling Sarah's nails dig sharply into her back. Then she did it again, and again, until Cameron could see Sarah beginning to shake, all the while never stilling the movement of her fingers.
"You're killing me." Sarah groaned, barely able to speak as Cameron's fingers slipped through her length again.
Cameron savagely pushed her fingers into Sarah as a response, withdrawing them almost straight away, fascinated by the unarticulated cry from Sarah and the way that pain could be pleasure under the right circumstances. She let her lips hover over Sarah's as she spoke, the two of them sharing the same breath. "You're Sarah Connor." She taunted. "You can take it."
Sarah moaned, unable to say anything past the throbbing between her legs, the viciousness and the strength as arousing as it was frightening.
Cameron continued her ministrations, watching in rapture as Sarah's face contorted with each stroke of fingers. When she finally pressed the pad of her thumb to the most sensitive area of skin, drinking in the cry of need that couldn't be kept in, Sarah realised what Cameron meant about her being able to take it.
Cameron had to place an arm around Sarah's waist when she pushed inside of her again, this time not so aggressive, her knees going week so she staggered against the worktop. Sarah's head was buried in her shoulder again, biting the flesh without mercy, which only increased her need to drive Sarah higher, barely constraining her strength in doing so.
She marvelled at the way Sarah met every thrust of her fingers, timing the rock of her hips perfectly to gain the maximum effect. She had never seen anything so natural and overwhelming. To Cameron it was flawless and she lost herself in it, almost to the point of being unaware of lifting Sarah's feet from the floor every time she met the drive of the other woman's body.
When Sarah came, only seconds later, she was quiet. The incredible muscles around Cameron's fingers contracted all at once and she marvelled in that too, honing all her senses into this moment. It didn't last nearly as long as she would have liked it to.
When she eventually removed her hand she was almost reverent, trying not to torture Sarah's flesh anymore than she already had, but she still caused a wince at the contact. She remained holding Sarah for long afterwards, not speaking, simply waiting until Sarah initiated further action. She even dared trail the back of her fingers down the side of Sarah's face, brushing back the damp tendrils of hair and continuing to be in awe of the sheer beauty of this woman.
"Do you feel better?" Cameron asked tentatively, continuing the small soothing action of her fingers on Sarah's face. "Do you still want to hit me?"
"Did-" Sarah coughed against her dry throat, looking up at Cameron through sweat-slick hair. "Do you feel that too?" She asked, returning her weight to her own two feet, ignoring Cameron's line of questioning.
Cameron nodded, looking up at her from beneath heavy eyes. She didn't say a word when she took Sarah's hand in her own and guided it beneath her top, the skin especially slick where the blood from the knife wound had pooled, though now it was no longer bleeding.
Sarah got the idea and shifted away from Cameron's grasp, feeling the infinitesimal twitch of Cameron's frame as her fingers slipped beneath her underwear. She hesitated for a moment, unsure if she wanted to continue; did she really want to know how human Cameron was? She wouldn't be able to deny it if she went any further…
"Sarah, I want you." Cameron whispered, looking into the other woman's eyes, a brief flash of blue suddenly appearing. She wanted Sarah to see her for who she really was; past all the wires and the metal bones.
So Sarah continued, trying to ignore the way her body had reacted to those words, reaching down and into Cameron's lacy underwear as confidently as she could. She winced as her fingers encountered wet heat, aroused all over again at the thought she had caused this reaction in a terminator, her own muscles clenching in sympathy.
Cameron didn't protest as Sarah's lips teased across her neck, fingers never stilling between her thighs…
The following morning found Sarah sitting on the dilapidated swing set in the garden, gently rocking back and forth with one foot. Last night was still playing through her mind; the sound of Cameron gasping into her ear, hips moving uncontrollably, still as real now as they had been last night.
She wanted to hate herself for giving into her weakness. She'd almost become Barbara Chamberlain, fooled into thinking that she was in a relationship with a human rather than a machine. Except that Barbara hadn't know about terminators and SkyNet, which made Sarah worse than that; it made her a traitor. But when Cameron had moaned at her touch last night, expression completely human and vulnerable, Sarah had felt the earth shift under her feet.
Because maybe Cameron was different…
The End