DISCLAIMER: Not mine, don't own them never did, c'est la vie!
CHALLENGE: Written as part of the 1001 Nights Challenge - cowardice.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Cowardice
By Jay

 

It's cowardice on my part, pure and simple. That's why as usual, I'm not going home with her…or to her for that matter and either would do in a pinch. I'm not fussy. It's not like I'm normally shy about these things, anyone I know could tell you that I'm not exactly backward about coming forward if you know what I mean. If anything I'm far too impetuous, led to some trouble on my part that's for sure.

But when it comes to her, all that goes out the window and I become a teenage wreck of seething hormones, 'cept without the courage…or dutch-courage for that matter.

Maybe it's the 'rules'…and yes they come with the obligatory quotation marks, both gestured and theoretical. She has rules for every eventuality and all situations. Being in the car, men, night time etiquette…you name it, she's got 'rules' for it.

That kind of pressure can put a girl right off.

Only it doesn't.

I mean, they drive me crazy sometimes, but I know them all, even some of the really whacked out ones, like the ones she has for fun, for example…I mean who makes rules for fun? Just like I know all of her other quirks and neuroses. I should, I spend enough time with her and I'm usually on the end of one of her rule spouting rants, which I admittedly tend to ignore.

It's the only reason I can think of for her still being single, without the rules she'd've been snapped up years ago. I reckon 'they' run people off. Let's face it she's tall, dark and gorgeous, anybody's dream if it weren't for her bloody inane principles.

Except, right now, she's my dream and I don't find them overly off putting, I just think they hold her back…and not in a good way, I reckon they stop her doing a lot of things she'd like to try. Anyway, dream being the important point, firstly because of that uncourageous teenager feeling that seems to happen when I'm around her and secondly because she's probably never even considered going out with me in the first place. Though I bet she's got rules prepared should the situation ever arise. I can hear her now in that delightfully posh, uptight, middle class private school accent of hers.

"Scribbs, what are my rules about lesbian relationships?!"

"Can't live with 'em can't explain to your landlord why you only need one bed?" would be my flippant guess.

"No Scribbs, No PDA's, no pet names and I'm emphatically not the bloke." She'd no doubt correct me, and no amount of explaining would convince her that the whole point of a relationship with each would be the significant lack of chap.

Maybe I'm underestimating her, not about the rules, those I'm pretty certain about, even in the theoretical. No, I mean she's not been out with a bloke or anyone else for that matter in a long time, at least that she's told me about. So maybe I would be in with a chance.

But when it comes down to it, I think I'm right back to that nasty word cowardice…unless she asked me out of course, but I can't really see that happening.

The End

Return to Murder in Suburbia Fiction

Return to Main Page