DISCLAIMER: Don't own them but they are fun to play with. There will be girly loving but nothing heavy in this story.
SPOILERS: None in particular beyond the crossdressing episode.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By Vree


Nicole flexed her shoulders under her suit. It was so nice to be able to wear real clothes. She got so tired of wearing designer clothes that were as uncomfortable as they were ugly. But that was the price of Popularity; you were never able to be honest about your desires. Any of them. She thought to herself glancing over at Sam. God, she was cute, all laid back and comfortable in her suit. She looked back to the front as Sam gave her a questioning look.

She respected what Debbie was doing and didn't really understand why that gender-fuck Bobbie Glass was giving her such a hard time. Finally, it was time to go and they all got up to leave. Brooke looked over to her, "Hey, you want to come over to the Palace and hang for a while? The 'rentals are conveniently away again."

"Sure that would be nice"

"Great, let me just get Sam and we'll head out."

"Aw, let her walk. It'll do Spammy some good" Oh, god I can't be that close to her in a car when I'm this close to comfortable. Suddenly the song "My Defenses Are Down" went cheerily tap dancing through her head. Stop that! There will be no showtunes at this time. Remember you are an evil bitch at the moment.

"Nic…" Brooke said warningly.

Nicole rolled her eyes in false exasperation, "Fine…Fine…Let's get going"

Once they were in the car on their way to the Palace Nicole turned to look at Sam.

"So, Spam, You and your loser friends hanging out this weekend, or are you holing up in your cave to write another blistering expose on the people you wish you were?" Can I kiss your neck?

"Gee, Satan, I guess that depends on whether or not the rumor that you are doing both the football and basketball teams this weekend turns out to be true. Tell me do you take them alphabetically or by ranking?"

"Aww, Spam, are you jealous? Be sure to do your research before you write the article as I know no man has ever come near you." Or I certainly hope not. Ah shit look at her face, I think I hit a nerve.

"Fuck you, Satan"

"That was original, Spam" I'm sorry. Nicole turned around and looked out the window until they turned into the Palace's driveway.

Once they entered the house Nicole sadly watched as Sam stormed up the stairs and slammed the door to her room. As she and Brooke reached Brooke's room and took off their suit jackets she could hear KD Lang wailing about the Trail of Broken Hearts.

"Man, Nic, kinda rough on Sam weren't you."

"What? It's not like she hasn't done the same to us."

"Yeah, but do me a favor and lay off of her for a while. She's going through a rough time."

"Aww, what could be so bad in Super Journalist's life?"

Brooke gave Nicole an intense look, "If I tell you, you have to swear not to use it against her. And I mean swear on the understanding that I will never speak to you again if you use it."

"Alright, I promise" I hope she's not sick.

"The reason Sam reacted so badly to your crack about men was that the other day she realized that she didn't want them."

"What do you mean?" Oh My God…Oh My God.

"Sam's gay, Nic. She told me last night."

Nicole sat down on the bed with a thump and loosened her tie. "Oh My God" What do I do now?

Nicole stared at nothing while her mind ran circles around itself. It took a few minutes for her to hear Brooke calling her name. She looked up.


"I said what's wrong with you? You look like someone blew up your Mercedes with your fall wardrobe in it."

Brooke was alarmed to see a pondering look on Nicole's face. Not because it was pondering but because it was the first time in ages that Brooke could read Nicole.

Can I tell her? Will she freak? Tell Sam? Tell the school? Nah, Brooke's not me.

"I love her."

"Pardon?" Broke blinked rapidly, "Could you repeat that?"

"I love her."



"Sam…My Sam…The one you call Spam and who calls you Satan. That Sam?"


"Did you hit your head on something when I wasn't looking?"


"Umm…well barring you've gone insane…How long has this been going on?"


Broke rolled her eyes in frustration. "Why… How? In more than one word please."

"How could I not? I mean she is so amazing. She's smart, funny, and beautiful. I love the way she has an instant comeback any time I rag her. I love watching her concentrate. Every time she starts playing with her tongue I think I'm gonna lose my mind. She has the most beautiful face and her hair is so thick I just want to bury myself in it. She's a magnificent writer and when she jogs in the morning she's so stunning it steals my breath. I love her so much and I have wanted her for so long and now she could be in my grasp if I hadn't spent the last ten years making sure she hated me with the fire of a thousand suns. God, Brooke, what am I gonna do?" With that Nicole curled up in a ball on the bed and began to cry.

Brooke looked at the crying blonde, for the first time in years seeing the beautiful girl Nicole had been before Marley Jacobson had entered her life, and her heart went out to her. Brooke walked over and pulled Nic into her arms. She held on until the tears slowed, before grabbing some tissues and gently wiping Nicole's face. She looked into the beautiful teary blue eyes of her friend.

"You are going to woo her."

"I'm gonna what!? This is the girl who thinks I'm the ruler of her personal hell and I'm gonna woo her? Umm, Brookie…speaking of people hitting their heads."

Brooke chuckled. "Silly. I don't mean you are gonna walk up and say 'hey baby, you want to go out?' If there's one thing I have learned about my step-sister it's that she is a romantic in the very old fashioned sense. She longs to be wooed and you are just the girl to do it."


"It's a beautiful plan really. It's two pronged. The first part is that you are going to become her secret admirer. You have a bonus because not only do you have your feelings but you also have 'a person inside' to tell you how it's going. The second part is that we are going to gradually make her stop seeing you as evil. We will slowly start changing the things that you use to protect yourself. It will be the dawning of a new era at Kennedy, because people won't realize the changes until they are already used to them. It will be the school it should have been if Marley hadn't gotten to you. What do you say?"

"Do you really think it will work?"

"Absolutely. She won't be able to resist."

"I have nothing to lose. Let's do it. The worst that can happen is that I will be publicly humiliated. What's first?"

Sam walked along the hallway toward her locker with her head down. She felt like "lesbian" was tattooed on her forehead even though she knew that nobody besides Brooke knew. She looked up as she reached her locker, and did a double take, checking that she had stopped in front of the right one. Who would put a rose in my locker? She took the rose from the slot and brought it to her nose. She couldn't understand how this was here. It was an Apothecary's Rose, her most favorite and extremely hard to come by. The deep magenta color and its yellow stamens were as distinctive as its scent, making it in her opinion one of the most beautiful roses. She opened her locker and resting on her books was a note card with the rose on the front. She picked it up and opened it.

    My love-

    I had never hoped to have a chance with you and yet have recently found that you lean in the same direction as myself. I hope you keep this rose near to you so that its heady scent will lift your sprits and make you think of me. Always remember that you are not alone in this school and that I will always be here for you. One day I hope to reveal myself to you and have you look to me with love in your heart. Until then I shall court you from afar.

Sam was staring dumbfounded at the note as Nicole walked by.

"Sending yourself love notes again Spam?"

Sam looked up.

"Screw you, Satan"

"Oh hon, you are lacking in several things I require in a screw. But if you're into that I know a couple of freaks who would just love to help you out."

Sam grabbed her books and slammed her locker shut.

"Of course you would know the sexual deviants in this school. You are their club president after all."

Sam stormed off to class. Such an amazing moment had to be wrecked by Satan herself. God I hate that girl. Her hair does look better now that she's flattened it again. That spiked thing made her look like Sonic the hedgehog. God, what am I thinking, am I so hard up for a girl that I'm ogling Nic. God I hate her.

Nicole watched Sam walk off. I hope I'm doing the right thing. She smiled as she felt Brooke come up and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Are we doing the right thing, Brookie. I think she hates me more now."

"Trust me. She took the rose with her and you saw her face when she read the note. She will fall for you."

"I hope so."

"Come on we need to do the morning primp before class."

Nicole groaned softly but followed Brooke to the Novack.

Sam was raging by the time she got home. She stormed up to Brooke's room flinging open the door.

"Who the hell did you tell, Brooke? Did you tell Satan and Mary Cherry so they could set me up and you could keep your precious hands clean? Christ I know we don't get along but I thought we had gotten beyond this."

Brooke had looked up from her book when her door flung open, and now slowly put it down before looking up at Sam. "Sam, I have no idea what you are talking about, calm down and tell me again."

Sam looked closely at her soon to be step-sister and seeing no deception let out a deep breath and sank down on the bed. She reached into her backpack and pulled out the note and flower. "Someone put these in my locker."

Brooke took the note and made a pretense of reading it before looking up at Sam with confusion. "OMG, Sam this is soo sweet. But what does it have to do with me?"

Sam looked a little shame-faced "Well you're the only person at school who knows I'm gay"

"Ah, so you assumed I told Nic and Mary Cherry so that you could be ridiculed, I think I might be offended."

"Come on Brooke, what was I supposed to think. It's not like that could be real and again nobody but you are supposed to know."

"Sam you have pictures of Alyson Hannigan and Renee O'Conner hanging in your locker. Perhaps not everybody is completely clueless." Brooke looked at her with an indulgent smile, "You haven't even considered that this could be real, Have you?"

"Umm…well…no. At first I was so excited I couldn't believe it. Then Satan made some crack and it caused all these doubt to come forward. God, I hate her. I don't understand how you can be friends with her."

"Nic's not so bad when you get under that cast-iron bitch routine that she has."

Sam rolled her eyes, "If you say so. It's not like I'll ever have a chance to find out."

Brooke smiled to herself "Anyway about this note. I think you should take it at face value. Someone has obviously spent a lot of time studying you. I would wait and see what happens next and enjoy it."

"I guess." Sam held the flower to her nose and smiled, "It was awfully sweet of her. Whomever she is."

Brooke and Sam chatted for a bit longer about school and Sam's admirer before Sam went back into her room to get ready for bed.

Once Brooke heard the door to Sam's room close she reached for the phone.


"Nic, its Brooke. Sam just came in to see me."

"And… What'd she say?"

Brooke smiled at the suppressed excitement and hope in her friends voice. "Well once I convinced her that you and Mary Cherry weren't playing a joke on her she was very excited. I think the plan is working perfectly. Now for your next move…"

The next day Sam opened her locker to find a new CD/MP3 Walkman and a note.

    My Love-

    I couldn't sleep last night. My thoughts of you kept me awake and restless. I am sick of my empty bed and long for you to be there to curl around me. Whenever I close my eyes all I see is you kissing me. I burn with such passion that I feel I should be gracing the cover of a regency romance novel. Great black horse, billowing white shirt and all. The only exception is that I would not wish you kneeling at my feet or fainting in my arms but standing next to me with your arms wrapped around me. While restlessly roaming around my room my eyes landed on my computer and I decided to make you a CD. It's a compilation of songs you love and some that I do, and several that show my feelings for you. It is a little odd and perhaps I should have slept first but cest la vie. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and the player.

Sam lifted the player out of her locker and noticed the CD case underneath. It's cover was a skillfully drawn rendition of the romance novel referred to in the note. Where the face of the hero would be however was left blank as if to be drawn later.

"Whoa Sam, where'd you get that? That is a prime piece of equipment."

Sam looked up at Brooke and smiled "She left it for me and look at this cover."

Brooke did not have to feign her surprise at the cover. She had no idea Nic could draw so well. The likeness of Sam was perfect down to the slight smile lines.

"What did the note say?"

Sam handed the note over and took the case back to see the playlist. Wow, she was right when she said the music was an odd mix. There's everything here from Sarah Mclachlan's Possession and Ani DiFranco's Overlap to Korn's ADIDAS and Depeche Mode's Only When I Lose Myself. God that's my favorite song of all time how did she know? Sam looked up as Brooke sighed.

"God, same that's so hot, and sweet, and wonderful. This woman obviously has it bad for you."

"I'm beginning to realize that. How can someone want me this much and I not ever have noticed it?"

Just as Brooke was about to respond Nicole came up. "Come on Brooke lets get going. That's enough loser outreach for one day." She casually glanced over at Sam. "Spam"

"Satan" Sam responded, idly noticing as they walked away that Nic's jeans fit like they had actually been worn more than once. God she's got a nice ass. OMG, I did not think that, What the hell is wrong with me?

Further down the hall Brooke muttered to Nic. "She's staring at your ass. I told you those jeans were a good idea."

"I know. I am beginning to realize that you are a genius and that I am very glad I never pushed our popularity contest. I would have been toast."

"True true. I've got it all brains, beauty, and talent. Worship me like the goddess I am." Brooke maintained her haughty expression for all of five seconds before she and Nicole burst out laughing and walked into the Novak.

The next few weeks passed in a similar manner. Every day there would be a note I her locker expressing her admirers love and in some cases passion. Those notes invariably had Sam blushing and rubbing her thighs together. Every few days there would be a gift. Sometimes flowers or jewelry or a favorite candy. Other days it would be odd things, like the day after Sam had asked to borrow a pen from Brooke in the Claws class she found a box of her favorites resting in her locker with a note or the days she finds drawings of herself in various positions from concentrating to walking or laughing.

In the mean time the move to change Nicole's image progressed as well. Her look gradually softened, while she was still wearing Armani it was jeans and buttondowns instead of Suits. Her shoes had changed from bitch heels to Docs and Sketchers. What made Sam finally notice the change was when Carmen idly commented that Nic seemed to have stopped picking on the unpopular ones.

Brooke and Nicole were walking down the hallway talking quietly with each other. When Sam approached them and asked to talk to her alone.

"Brooke what's going on with Nicole?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's changed. She's not evil anymore her clothes are different. Its weird I find myself wanting to use her real name."

"Oh that, I finally convinced her to drop the act. It took quite a while but she is finally starting to believe that the last thing the school needs is another Marley Jocobson. What your seeing is the real Nic the one I've known all along."

"Un-Hunh. You;ll pardon me if I'm a bit skeptical that even your great talents extend to taming the Beast. How do you know she's not just suckering you in?"

"Trust me I just know." Seeing Sam's still skeptical look, " All I can tell you is that she recently found out some information that made her want to be a better person."

"That must have been one hell of a piece of info. What did she learn?"

"I can't tell you. If you really want to know go ask her yourself." And with that Brooke walked back over to Nicole.

"She noticed."

"Really!! That's great."

"Um Hmm. By the way, when this works and you two are together. Remind me to kill you."

"What!! Why?"

"She has not stopped playing that damn CD once since you gave it to her three weeks ago. It's driving me nuts."

Nicole laughed and they walked into class.

Sam walked into the bookstore. She had a weekly ritual in which she'd come in and peruse the sci-fi, erotica, and gay fiction sections, before selecting a book or two and sitting down in one of the comfy chairs scattered in the alcoves created by the bookshelves. Her favorite was a couple of big plush leather chairs in the sci-fi section. It was usually very quiet and empty, most people not realizing the value of a good sci-fi/fantasy story. As she turned the corner she realized there was already someone sitting in her seat.

"Nicole!! What are you doing in my spot?"

"I'm sorry I must have missed the plaque that had your name on it." Came the sarcastic reply.

"I am here every week at this time and sit here in exactly this spot."

Nicole laughed, "Well that's ironic. I do the same thing but usually on Tuesday. I missed this week so I thought I'd come now and relax a bit."

Sam looked over Nicole who was comfortably sprawled in the chair with one leg over the arm. She was dressed in clothes Sam had never though she would ever see the fashion diva wear. Her jeans were obviously old and faded with some intriguing spots that were worn almost to fraying. She had on a tight white tank top that showed of every muscle the cheerleader usually hid. And her black docs had seen better days many years before, to the point that Sam could faintly see the steel at the toe. It was an entirely drool worthy picture that Sam had to force herself to look away from.

As Nicole went back to her book Sam sat down and tried to read. Unfortunately every few minutes her eyes would drift to the blonde. Finally giving up she closed her book and sat up causing Nicole to look up at the movement.

"What happened to you?"


"Three months ago you were Gucci's satanic evil twin. Now you don't dress, talk or act like your supposed to."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't realize you'd miss it, shall I go back to calling you spam and insult every move you and your friends make. Would that make you happy? Fine, what the hell were you thinking when you did that to your hair or did it just stuck in an electrical socket "

"Arrrgggg. No I don't want you to go back. Everyone likes this new you. You and Brooke have never been so popular. It's just I don't understand what happened. Brooke said that something happened that made you want to change but she wouldn't tell me what."

"Do you really want to know, Sam?" At Sam's nod "Fine, I fell in love. Now if you'll excuse me I am running late for an appointment."

Sam sat there dumbfounded as Nicole grabbed her backpack and left. Nicole's in Love?!! I wonder who the stud is.

Brooke went into Sam's room looking for more clues about her step-sister. She needed to find the one thing that would make Nicole the perfect woman for same. As she went through the small box that Nicole had given Sam to hold her jewelry she dropped one of the rings which promptly rolled under the bed. Brooke kneeled down and saw it resting against and Amazon.com box. Pulling both the ring and the box out she put the ring away before opening the box.

"Oh My God!!! Sam I didn't know you had it in you."

She quickly slid the box back under the bed, before calling Nic to get over to the Palace as soon as possible. Fifteen minutes later the door was opened and Nic was bodily dragged in and up the stairs.

"Brooke, what's wrong?"

"Wrong" Brooke let out a slightly hysterical giggle, "Could be there's nothing wrong could be there's a lot wrong."

"Brooke speak English you interrupted a very important fantasy when you called."

"Come with me" Brooke replied while leading Nic into Sam's room.

"Why Brooke I thought you'd never ask" Nicole replied in her best Southern Belle accent.

Brooke just groaned as she pulled the box from under the bed and handed it to Nicole "You should probably glance at this."

Nicole opened the box and started to smile. There were several books in a neat stack next to a couple of well used vibrators and a large pack of batteries. The books all had titles such as By Her Subdued, Macho Sluts, and the Marketplace. What really made her smile though was when she started paging through the stories with turned down corners. Apparently her Sam had a strong penchant for submissiveness and rough sex. Nicole looked up at Brooke.

"Apparently we are better matched than I thought." Brokke's jaw dropped. "Don't worry Brooke I have an idea of how to show Sam that I am happy to embrace this part of her life as well."

"Thank God cause I have to tell you I was stumped."

Nicole laughed, "I will need your help to pull this off but here's the plan…"

The Next Day

Sam opened her locker to another envelope. Unlike the others however this one was black with silver roses imprinted on it.

    My Love-

    You thought you could hide parts of yourself from me but you can't. I know your dreams and desires. I know that you long to submit your body to the touch of a lover. You dream of having no control. Of being pinned to a wall and ravished. A lover thrusting into you roughly while you moan. Being forced to pleasure her until you feel your tongue will fall off in exhaustion. I tell you that I am the one for you. And one of these days soon, though it is not yet time for us to meet, you will feel my touch on you. Until then dream of me and know that I love and want you constantly.

Attached to the note was a keychain shaped like a pair of handcuffs.

From a couple of lockers away Brooke snickered quietly. "Look at that blush. I bet those panties are ruined."

"Hush you. Yours would be too if you had received that letter, trust me. So are you ready for the next part of the plan."

"You bet. See you after school."

Sam was leaving the newspaper office late having stayed in order to get the next issue finished. The halls were quiet even the janitor having finished. She briefly thought she heard the crackle of a walkie–talkie but dismissed it as her imagination. She walked into the Novak and reached for the light, assuming that the janitor had turned it off. Her wrt was grabbed and she was pinned to the grillwork that separated the door from the sinks. A brief yelp left her mouth before a small hand covered it.

"Hush my love it's me." Said a female voice that had obviously been deepened.

Sam relaxed a bit. "How do I know its you? For all I know you could be Mary Cherry or April Tuna."

A rusty chuckle sounded. "I put Depeche Modes Only When I Lose Myself on that disk because I knew it was your favorite and it so closely mirrored how I feel. I want to lose myself in you."

"Oh God" Sam melted into the firm body behind her feeling the hardened nipples through the back of her shirt. "Let me see you."

"No my love not yet you are not ready and frankly neither am I. But I could not last one more day without feeling you body against mine."

And with that Sam let out a gasp, as she felt two lips attach to her neck. A trail of nipping kisses were run from the side of her neck to the back where she felt a firm sucking motion that was sure to leave a mark. "Can't have you forgetting about this now can we." Her admirer's free hand traveled up and started to firmly pull and twist Sam's nipples. "I am going to place your hands an you will not move them or I will stop. Do you understand me?"

"Yes" Sam moaned as her hands were brought up to grip the grillwork she was leaning against. Once her admirer's hands were free they returned to her breasts while the lips continued to map out the shoulders and neck exposed by Sam's tank. Gradually one hand started to slide down towards her jeans causing her hips to buck and a chuckle to escape the woman behind her. However once the hand slipped under the jeans a moan came from her captor and Sam had never been so glad that it was laundry day and she had to go commando. Two fingers lightly slipped through her hair and into her wetness. Lightly swirling against her clit and causing her knees to buckle, before sliding back out. Slowly the hands were removed from her body. "As much as I would love to take you here and now it is not our time yet. Stay here. I promise we will meet soon." Sam heard the door close and took a deep breath before turning and looking outside. There was no one there. She slowly straightened her mussed clothes and left the Novak. As she walked out the front of the school she saw Brooke leaning on her car. "It's about time. I was about to send in the search party. What took you so long? You called like a half an hour ago. Are you OK? You look kinda flushed."

Sam looked at Brooke and let off this most dazzling grin. "You will never believe what just happened to me."

Sam finished explaining what just happened to Brooke, also explaining her desire for submission. She noticed that Brooke seemed unsuprised. However since she was being so supportive Sam let it go. As they pulled up to the house Brooke noticed that sam had gotten a pensive look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm trying to decide if I should be worried."

"About what?"

"Well until a few minutes ago nobody knew about that part of me. I'm wondering if I could be in danger. Perhaps she's a crazed stalker. She would have had to break into the house in order to know that about me. I was so caught up in the fantasy I completely ignore the reality of the situation. Do you think I should be worried?"

Brooke debated with herself. Did she risk Nicole's secret in order to allay Sam's fears? "I told her"


"I told her"

"How the hell did you find out? Wait you mean you know her? All this time you've been helping her."

"Yep. I was in your room looking for clues the other day and stumbled on you box. When I told her about it she came up with this idea to show you that she loves that part of you as well. That and she was about three steps from blowing her cover if we couldn't find a way for her to touch you. You drive her absolutely insane."

"Who is it?"

Brooke looked at her incredulously "You don't seriously think I'm going to tell you that do you?"

Sam sighed "No, but I thought it was worth a try."

Brooke thought to herself for a moment "And don't go all investigative reporter on me either. She will show herself when both you and she are ready. Promise?"

Sam looked at Brooke, "You know me far to well. Fine, I promise."

"Good, in the meantime. Anything I should tell her?"

Sam brightened "Could I maybe give you a note that you can pass on to her"

Brooke smiled, "Sure she'd love that."

"Cool, I'll give it to you in the morning."

Sam sat in her room trying to decide what to write. For a purported writer she was remarkably clueless. What the hell do you write someone who has been avidly pursuing you for a number of months and seems to be everything you could ask for in a partner, and yet you don't know who they are. Finally she put pen to paper and began to write.

Meanwhile Brooke was in her room making an important phone call.


"Brooke? What's up hon. It's late"

"My position has been compromised"


"My position has been compromised"

"Brooke, hon. It's a little late. If you've got something to tell me just spit it out."

"Sam knows I've been feeding her admirer hints"

"WHAT!!!! How the hell did that happen?"

"Well, she was really happy when she got to the car but as we drove along she got real pensive and started worrying that you were some kind of crazed stalker. She sarted to get really panicky about how you could have known about her interest in kink. So I told her that I was your contact."

"You told her who I was?"

"No just that I was her admirers contact."

"Oh, how'd she react?"

"She was relieved you weren't insane and asked me to pass a note on to you."

"I'll be right over."

"You Goof, I won't have it until tomorrow. I'll give it to you before first period. Meet me in the theater, nobody should be there that early."

"Will do. You do realize that I will now get no sleep tonight?"

"Yeah, isn't it a good thing you no longer care as much about your appearance. Those bags would drive you nuts all day."

"Very funny, Princess. Good Night."

As Brooke walked into the theater the next morning she could see the pale blonde pacing the length of the stage and back again.

"You know if you pace a hole in the stage Josh will never forgive you."

"It's about time you got here where have you been? And why would I care about what his majesty the drama queen thinks anyway?"

"It took forever to get Sam out of bed this morning. Apparently she was up late last night slaving over your letter. Her room looked like a paper bomb went off from all the revisions."

"Would you just give me the letter. Please."

"Hmm let me see if I have it here." Brooke makes a show of looking through her bags, "I may have left it at home"

Nicole lets out a frustrated growl "You know this sadistic streak of yours is not attractive."

Brooke laughed and pulled the letter out of her bag "Here you go. Understand that I wish to know what it says. After all I've done for the two of …" She stops speaking as she realizes her words are falling on deaf ears. Nicole had ripped open the letter and was reading it avidly.

    Dear Admirer-

    You have caused my life to go through almost as many changes as Satan has lately (That's Nicole Julian in case you didn't know). You have swept into my life and brought passion and love into it. You have swept into my life and brought passion and love into it. You brought me hope when I had resigned myself to being single until college. Your gifts have brought me pleasure on the crappiest days and your letters have made already bright days brighter. I don't know how you can know me so well without me knowing who you are but I thank the heavens every day that you do.

    I love that your words can turn me on with such skill and having your body pressed to mine tonight was a dream come true. Your forcefulness thrills me and makes my dreams that much more vivid. I hope we can meet soon. Brooke says neither of us are ready and yet I feel as if I can't go another day without knowing the woman who completes the picture on the CD. I bide my time though and wait until the right time. In the mean time this can become a two way interaction in the hopes that we learn more about each other before we meet.

    I await your next letters with passion and hope.


Nicole sat on the edge of the stage with a thump before wordlessly handing the letter to Brooke. She couldn't believe it was working, Sam was falling in love with her. Her heart was filled with the purest of joys tempered by a dash of sadness as she realized that it could all be destroyed if Sam couldn't get past who she was. She looked up as brooke closed the letter.

"It's working"

"I'll say, that was a hell of a letter."

"What do I do now, Brooke? She still thinks of me as Satan."

"Thankfully I worked that into phase two of my plan"

"Phase Two?"

"Yes. It actually helps that I had to tell her about my connection to you. Now we can have a two way conversation going on between Sam and her secret admirer while she keeps accidentally running into the New and Improved Nicole Julian. Hopefully if I'm right the two of you will have reached some kind of truce and possibly even friendship by the time we put you in the same room together. The part I still have to figure out is your actual meeting."

"Don't worry about that. I have a plan already."

"Ok that works. Shall we get started, I know a certain McPherson will be in the Novack in about five minutes."

"By all means."

Two months later

Sam looked around the table in the cafeteria marveling at the changes a few months could make. To her right was Brooke who was animatedly talking to Emory and Mary Cherry about cheerleading moves. Next to them, Harrison, Josh, and Carmen, and George were organizing their next flag football game. While directly across from her Nicole was going over some student council business with April and Lily. Sam's eyes went back to Nicole as they had been a lot lately. She just couldn't believe the changes in the girl. Her hair had grown till it now resembled Gabrielle's in the last season of Xena. Her clothes were still nice but were obviously comfortable, leaning heavily in the direction of Men's Button-Downs and Jeans with Docs. But more than that it was the internal changes that baffled Sam. No one could have predicted that she would take the Student Government and turn it into a functional operation that actually held some weight amongst the student and teachers. Not to mention that Nicole had joined the paper and was turning out well crafted articles about school issues as well as heading up the gossip column. Sam didn't see her often but looked forward to every article she received. They periodically would run into each other at the bookstore and would end up talking for hours about books they had read or wanted to read. It was really odd to think that she now considered Nicole a friend.

In the meantime things with her admirer were progressing rapidly. Having two way communication was allowing them to learn much about each other. They were even playing a game where Sam would try to probe for details about who the admirer would receive the most outlandish answers that could be come up with. So far her admirer had been the president, a vampire, and the lead scientist for an alien colony. Their letters had progressed in other areas as well. They would write pages of fantasy to each other. Sometimes it would be links to fanfic that was particularly pertinent or held a fantasy that they shared. Other times, like the one she wrote yesterday, it was an in depth description of what Sam had done to herself while reading the last letter from the admirer.

They explored their kinks in the letters. From what they have dreamed to the things they were learning in books. As was written in one of the letters sent to her "I read because, I want to be the perfect lover for you and you for me. I wish to know what you desire when you desire it and to be able to give it to you." It was the most wonderful she had read and she had responded that she wished for the same. Their letters were flying back and forth with such passion and rapidity that Brooke jokingly said she was gonna need Mercury's sandals soon.

Sam opened the letter that Brooke had given her as they walked into the cafeteria and began to blush and squirm. Apparently her admirer had been just as affected by her response as she had been to the letter that prompted it. At the bottom of the letter there was one word that made her heart pound "Soon". It had never been mentioned before and Sam took it as a sign. Trying to get herself under control she glanced up and ended up locking eyes with Nicole who began to blush.

"That looks like it was a hell of a letter Sam"

"Yeah It was" Sam replied through a cracking voice.

"Here have my water. You look like you need to cool off."

"Thanks Nic" Sam gratefully took a healthy slug of the water before reaching into her bag for the paper she used to write her notes. If she had been looking she would have seen the big grin Nicole shot in her direction as well as the gleam of anticipation in her eye as she watched Sam begin to write.

    Dear Admirer-

    I am glad you enjoyed my letter and look forward to feeling your response in person. I dream of running my lips along your firm body after one of those workouts you have described. Tasting the salt of you exertions and the fluid of your arousal. I noticed you signed your card soon. Could this mean that you are finally ready to reveal yourself to me? Can we finally be together in body as well as mind? I sincerely hope so.

    Yours in Soul and Mind (and hopefully soon Body)


As they walked into the house later that day Brooke gave Sam a big smile and handed her an envelope. The envelope was different from the others in that it was handcrafted linen died a light blue shade. Sam took the envelope and looked at Brooke with shining eyes.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"I don't know why don't you open it."

Sam quickly opened the envelope and pulled out a matching piece of paper.


    A package will arrive at your door at 5 tomorrow. You are to put on the clothes in the box. At 7 a car will arrive for you and there will be further instructions in there. It is finally time for us to meet and I only pray I can find the patience to fulfill my plans.

Sam looked up and handed the note to Brooke.

"She;s going to try one of my fantasies. I am so gonna need your help with makeup"

Brooke laughed.

The next day promptly at five the doorbell rang and Sam who had been pacing in front of it since two leaped to open it. A man dressed as a chauffer handed her a package and with a slight bow turned and left.

Sam quickly ran up to her room with brook hot on her heels. Nicole hadn't shown her what she had bought just told her what to expect. She closed the door as Sam opened the box. The first thing she pulled out was a long black velvet sheath dress with high slits that would fall on the front of her upper thighs. The scoop of the neck came down in a V that would stop just at the start of the valley of Sam's breast.

"Wow Sam! There's no way she's gonna be able to keep her hands off of you in that."

"God, I hope so" Sam groaned.

"Well lets see what else is in the box."

Sam put the dress down and reached into the box to pullout some moderately heeled pumps she was pretty sure she would be able to walk in. The next item to come out was a low-cupped black lace bra made from the finest lace. Lastly she pulled out a pair of underwear that matched the bra. Instead of a crotch though there was a piece of ribbon lacing the two sides together and attached to it a small heart shaped lock with a note.

While I know you could just pull these off I hope some time you will allow me to unlock your heart.

Sam sat on the bed with a thump.

Brooke looked at her concerned, "Are you ok? You look like your gonna pass out."

Sam looked blurrily up at her, "You have no idea what this is like for me. This is one of my greatest fantasies come true. This would be like Gwyneth coming to you and saying that she wanted to be you personal shopper, acting coach, and sex slave."

"Oh my! Well we better get you ready then."

Again promptly at 7 the chauffeur rang the doorbell. He then lead Sam to the stretch limousine and held the door for her while she entered.

Once she was settled into the soft interior Sam began to look around. The first thing she noticed was a small spotlight shining on a bed of ice holding a single red rose and a small split of champagne with a note that said Pour me. Next to it were a glass and another note resting on a box. She poured herself a glass of champagne and picked up the note.


    Please put on both items in the box and enjoy the champagne. I look forward to seeing you shortly.

When she opened the box she found a light blue box resting on a piece of black leather. She opened the box to find a silver chain necklace, which she quickly put on loving the collar-like weight behind of it.

The piece of leather turned out to be a lightweight blindfold made of the softest leather Sam had ever felt. She brought it to her nose, taking a whiff of the smell that only new leather has. She put the blindfold on and carefully picked up her champagne glass. She then settled back in her seat, content to enjoy the ride. She supposed that she should be concerned about being taken an unknown location by a stranger but she trusted in her admirer. She spent the ride trying to puzzle out who it could be but nobody besides Brooke and for some odd reason Nicole came to mind. Since she was sure it wasn't either of them that left her perplexed. She really hoped that, despite the obvious wealth of the admirer, it wasn't Mary Cherry. Mostly because she knew Lily was carrying a secret torch for the loud mouthed Texan, but also because she was kinda scary. Finally after much pondering Sam decided that she would find out soon enough and sat back to enjoy the ride and the fantasies that were dancing through her head.

Eventually she felt the car roll to a stop. Sam sat up as she heard the driver's door close and his footsteps move around the car. She quickly checked her hair and dress as much as she could with the blindfold on. She chuckled to herself at her uncharacteristic actions and nervousness. The car door opened and she reached out a hand which was grasped by the driver.

"Watch your head Ma'am."

She stood up and listened to her surroundings. She could hear city sounds so she assumed they were still in LA. She caught the hint of spices in the air that got stronger as she heard a door being opened. The Driver lead her through what she assumed was the doorway due to the temperature change. She could hear the clank of silverware and figured that she must be in a restaurant. She felt someone approach.

"Ah Ms McPherson, Your lady has been waiting for you. If you would follow me please?" And with that an unknown man took her hand and lead her through what she assumed to be the main part of the restaurant by the increased sounds of diners. She was embarrassed that all these people could see her being lead blindfolded through the restaurant. At the same time the feeling of submission was sexy and she was aroused because she knew that the woman waiting for her knew she would feel this way.

She felt a curtain brush her arms and fall closed behind her, muffling the sounds. She was lead to a spot and felt the man's hand press her shoulder indicating she should sit. Once sitting she moved her hands to feel that she was sitting on a velvety couch.

"She will be right with you Miss." She heard the curtains swish as the man left what must be a private room. She sat back a bit to wait. She kept having chills run up her spine cause the anticipation was driving her nuts. The whole evening had been alternately romantic and sexy and she couldn't wait to see what was next. Not to mention she really wanted to know who her admirer was.

She perked up again as she heard the curtain swish and someone move to sit next to her on the couch.

Nicole couldn't believe how beautiful Sam looked. The outfit was as stunning on her as she had thought it would be. She couldn't help the shiver of arousal as she pictured the items under the dress. As she sat next to Sam she took a deep breath and turned on the voice distorter she was wearing.

"You are more stunning than I could ever have imagined. I have waited for this moment for so long that I can barely gather my thoughts. I wish to explain to you the why of the blindfold and distorter." Sam had looked a bit disappointed when she had first started speaking but cautiously nodded her head now. "I know I promised to tell you who I am this evening, and I will, but I need to be a little selfish first. I would like us to have one date that I can keep as a memory in case you do not wish to be with me. I figure that the blindfold and the masker will allow us to do that without my identity being revealed. If this is to weird for you and you just want to know now and go from there than just tell me and that is what we'll do."

Sam listened to the voice that though distorted was still warm and female and thought about what she was saying. Finally, she nodded to herself and turned to the voice next to her. She reached her hand to where she thought the side of the face was and was rewarded with the feeling of lips under her thumb, "I admit that my curiosity is killing me, that whole journalist thing you know" she felt the lips smile, "And I seriously doubt that you could be anyone I wouldn't want to be with, but if it makes you happy, I will be more than happy to continue this fantasy date." She was rewarded with the feel of a pair of lips on hers.

Nicole had intended it to be a quick kiss, a mere peck of thanks, she was taken completely off-guard by Sam's hand sliding into her hair and deepening the kiss. She gave in to the feeling completely as Sam's tongue teasing her lower lip. After a few more minutes she broke away, knowing that the food would be arriving soon. She was breathing heavily as she heard Sam say "That was amazing."

"I agree." The curtain swished aside and the waiters began to bring in the food. Nicole watched Sam's nose twitch adorably as she took in the scents, "I hope you like Morrocan. Its perfect on dates like these because its all finger food."

"Oh? And have we brought many women to this place?"

"Um…no…just you in my fantasies everytime I eat here. I have had a long running fantasy of feeding you. The blindfold adds to the aesthetic. The fact that you have to trust that I won't feed you something you won't like. It requires a level of trust in a person you don't know that's incredible."

"But that's where you're wrong…"


"I do know you. I have spent the last few months learning everything about you that I possibly could. Just because I don't know your name or what you look like doesn't mean I don't know you."

Nicole smiled, "Touche" She reached over to the tray to grab a bit of chicken, "here try this." Sam obediently opened her mouth and closed it just in time to catch the tips of Nicole's fingers with a saucy grin.

"No Biting"

"Yes ma'am" Sam said bowing to the undeniably dominant tone in the woman's voice.

"Very well. Open." Sam opened and took another taste of the chicken. This time lightly licking along the fingers in her mouth, prompting a whimpering moan from her partner.

"Not fair"

"Alls fair in love…you top me but I tease you…sounds fair to me. We shall see who lasts longer."

"Fine. The second one of us strays past lips and hand they lose. If I win you have to swear not to leave when you find out who I am until you hear me out. What do you want if you win?"

"Hmm" Sam purred, "I want a wish…to be granted later."

"Granted…If it's within my power I'll do it for you."

For the next two hours they played. Nicole would feed Sam something and Sam would lick and suck the fingers, making sure to grab all the juices off of them. Periodically, would only bite in to half of whatever was offered, offering the other half to Nicole who would lean in and take it, usually prompting increasingly passionate kisses. Finally they reached the dessert course. Slices of melon and cantaloupe served with a light mint tea. After all of the teasing, the feel of a melon being licked out of her fingers proved to be to much for Nicole who captured Sam into their most passionate kiss yet. As their lips and tongues battled each other Nicole slid her hand from Sam's hair down her bare back. Prompting Sam to chuckle and break the kiss.


Sam smiled "You lose"

Nicole took a moment to realize where her hand was and groaned, "I guess you win. What is it you wish?"

"Hmmm. I'll have to tell you about that later."

A silence fell. The first since they had been in the same room. There had been chatting and teasing all throughout the meal they had both felt the connection that had grown through their letters to each other. But now there was silence.

All of Nicole's nervousness came back but she steeled herself…It was time. "Umm well I guess its time. I wanted to thank you for this. I couldn't have imagined a much more perfect evening."

Sam's nervousness returned. What could be so bad that it required this much secrecy. "You're welcome. I couldn't have imagined a better time without knowing who you are."

"Well I hope it's a good thing." Nicole turned off the distorter then reached over and slowly slid the blindfold from Sam then sat back and waited.

Sam slowly blinked as her eyes adjusted to the candlelight room. Her eyes widened as she saw who was in the room with her. Her brain started to babble rapidly and haer mouth soon followed.

"Of course I should have known… the one person I wouldn't have thought of…who else would it have been…a Tuna, no… Mary Cherry, no…Even Brooke, no…Satan herself...Ms Nicole Julian." Sam abruptly stopped talking. Took a breath and stood up, "I have to use the bathroom."

Nicole's face fell, "I understand…The car is waiting for you outside if you wish to leave."

Sam looked at her for a few more minutes. She took in the hurt look and the brimming tears, as well as the well fit pinstripe suit with a tight top underneath. She nodded and went through the curtain.

Sam walked into the luxurious bathroom and sat on one of the couches along the wall. For a while she just sat there with her mind running in circles so fast there wasn't one coherent thought. Eventually one word surfaced amongst the many, Brooke. She reached into her pocketbook for her cell and autodialed.


"Brooke" Sam's voice wavered.



"Ah she told you hunh"

"Yes and I don't know what to do…or think…or feel"

"Well let's start easy. What was your first thought when you saw her?"

"Oh My God"

"And you're Second"

"She looks really good"

"And you're Third"

"But she's Satan"

"What does this tell you?"

"That she's a good looking evil person"

Brooke groaned, "All right lets try another way. Forget what you just found out."


"Now tell me about your admirer."

Sam made an effort to block out Nicole's image and smiled, "She's wonderful, sweet funny and smart. We share a lot of interests and views. And Umm", Sam blushed, "we appear to be sexually compatible."

"Ok, now let me explain something to you. Do you remember that day that Nicole made the crack about you never sleeping with guys?"

"Umm yeah"

"Well when she and I went into my room I kinda told her you were gay. At first she had this really happy look on her face and I thought you were toast cause she was coming up with all the different ways she could use it to hurt you. Then gradually her face became one of absolute despair. When I asked her what was wrong you can just imagine my surprise when she says to me 'I love her'. Of course I thought she was joking but then she explained that she had loved you for years. You should have seen her talk about you Sam, It was amazing. Her entire face lit up and her eyes went this shade of blue that is impossible to describe. I have to admit, for all my love of the boys, I was jealous. Then just as quickly she began to cry because she had spent this entire time making you hate her, thinking she didn't have a chance."

"Wow" Sam was stunned by these revelations.

"Now using some of your much vaunted journalistic objectivity, what do you think of who Nicole has become in the last few months?"

"Well…I have been a bit wary of the changes, but, she has become nice and thoughtful. She seems to have gone out of her way to become a genuinely nice woman. I love the way she looks now, Softer more comfortable with herself."

"When she told me that she was in love with you I came up with a way for her to woo you. The first part was being your secret admirer but the second and more important part was getting her back to the person she was before Marley Jacobson got her claws into her. I think that is been a wonderful thing for Nicole cause she has been much happier since we started. So, now in your head take everything you just said about your secret admirer and about Nicole and combine it. That is the real Nicole not the person who lives in your memory. That Nicole has died thanks to her love for you and a little help from me."

"She has become a pretty impressive person." Sam mused fiddling with the chin around her neck. Images of Nicole flashing through her mind intermingled with lines from the letters. She kept getting caught on the memory of Nicole at the bookstore with her ratty jeans and her Docs.

"Now here comes the hard question, and you need to be very sure when you answer. Do you think you can love the Nicole who has sent you the letters or will you always remember the one who tormented you for years?"

Sam thought hard. First she remembered Nicole on the day they all got locked in the bathroom, and the all of the cheerleader fiascos. Then she started comparing it to the person she knows now. One ting that she noticed was that even at her worst Sam had always found Nicole attractive. The soft white sweater she wore on Christmas, the bad girl look in the bathroom, and most recently in that suit at Ms Debbie's trial. She tried to determine if she was really a big enough person to forget the past. Finally, Nicole's eyes as Sam stood to leave the room came to mind. Sam suddenly understood what Brooke meant about the shade of blue because as she stood they had gone from an open pure blue to an almost navy gray shade of pain. She realized that she never wanted to be responsible for that shade in Nicole's eyes ever again. Not now that she new what the alternative was.


"Then you need to get your ass back to her, because if I know my friend she is bawling her eyes out thinking that her nightmare has come true. Sammy," Brooke paused, "Be careful with her please. She's not as tough as she seems and I love you both dearly."

"I will Brooke. I promise. Someday I will find a way to thank you for this."

"Just make her happy and be happy. That's what I want most. Well, that and Heath Ledger…ooh and the newest Prada heels."

Sam cracked up, "I'll see what I can do, Princess."

She hung up the phone and went to one of the mirrors. She straightened herself up and took a deep breath. "I'm in love with Nicole Julian" She took the fact that her eyes twinkled as she said Nicole's name as a positive sign and left the bathroom.

As she walked through the curtain into the private room she saw that Brooke had been right. Nicole was curled into the corner of the couch with tears streaming down her face. Any doubt Sam had disappeared at that moment. Her heart was breaking at the thought of having cause Nicole that kind of pain.

Nicole looked up as the curtain moved assuming it was the waiter. She hadn't expected Sam to be standing there staring at her. Still she sat up and wiped her eyes trying to pull together some of her former bitch façade.

"What's up Sam? Come to mock your arch nemesis? Well get it out now cause…" She was stopped by a pair of lips on hers. Wow I didn't even see her move.

Once the kiss broke she looked wide-eyed at Sam who said, "Shut-up, Satan. I love you, too."

Nicole gulped, "You do?"

Sam sat up and looked around. "Can we go? Maybe take a drive in the limo?"

"Sure, let me just grab my bag." Nicole reached behind the couch for her bag giving Sam a very nice view of her backside in the process. Sam smiled to herself and reached over for the blindfold which she put in her purse as Nicole turned back around and reached for Sam's hand. "Shall we?"

They walked out to the limo hand in hand and Sam sat back in its plush seat as Nicole gave the driver directions just to drive around for a while. When Nicole sat back the two girls just looked at each other. Each was waiting for the other to say something while trying desperately to come up with something to say themselves.

Finally Sam quirked the half grin that always made Nicole want to kiss her and said, "We owe Brooke Heath Ledger and the newest Prada heels."

Nicole chuckled, "Well, she certainly earned them. Sam, do you really love me?"

Sam reached out and pulled Nicole into her so that Nicole's back was to her front and her arms were around the cheerleader. "Yes I do. When I left you at the restaurant I went into the bathroom and called Brooke. I think she had been half expecting my call because she had all these questions that put it into perspective for me. I can't say that I have ever thought of loving you…for a very long time I hated you. And yet, at the same time I have always been aware of you. I have always been drawn to the fire and passion you express even when it was pissing me off to extents not to be believed, and face it you are a dead sexy woman. It would take a far different woman than I not to have noticed that."

Nicole chuckled at the Fat Bastard impersonation while at the same time shivering from the rumble of Sam's voice so close to her ear.

"When I started receiving the notes I couldn't believe that there was a woman I would be interested in who would be interested in me. As I kept reading though I reached the point where it could have been Bobbie Glass and I would probably love them. The person who wrote those notes was so intense and passionate and funny I couldn't wait to meet them. At the same time, I kept running into you and you were so different. Looking back now I don't know how I didn't figure it all out."

"Hey, we worked very hard to make sure you didn't. The only exception was that day in the bathroom. I just couldn't go without touching you anymore. It was driving me nuts."

"Oh god that was so intense. I couldn't believe how wet I got. It was like one of my greatest fantasies was coming true but instead of it being safely in a book or my mind it was actually happening and I had no idea who was doing it. Tonight was like that as well but there was the anticipation of knowing who you were. I'm so sorry I hurt you by leaving. I never want to cause you that kind of pain again."

Nicole wiggled around so she could look into Sam's eyes. "I can't promise that we will never hurt each other again, but I can promise that I will do my best not to hurt you."

Sam leaned down and caught her lips. They spent the next few minutes reveling in the press of their bodies and the heat of their mouths pressing together. Fingers became entangled in hair as the kiss deepened. Nicole broke the kiss to trail light bites down Sam's neck causing her to moan deep in her chest and dig her nails into the back of Nicole's jacket. Sam broke the kiss to look at Nicole. "I Love you."

She was rewarded with the softest smile she had ever seen, "And I you."

A brief frown crossed Sam's face prompting Nicole to give her a questioning look.

"What are we going to do about school and parents?"

"I have some ideas but I have no intention of discussing them tonight. Tonight is our night to be together. No problems, no concerns, just us."

Sam smiled, "Sounds wonderful." They met in anther intense kiss that ended when Sam's hands started roaming lower.

Nicole sat up breathing heavily, prompting a frown from Sam. "I really really want you." Her eyes went distant, "really really want you. But I'm not ready yet. I want to make sure that this is real." She looked at Sam, "Do you understand?"

Sam smiled. "While I admit my body is screaming I do understand. I will be here for as long as it takes for you to believe in us."

"I'm so glad to hear that." They got caught in each others gazes again. "You know just cause we aren't gonna go all the way doesn't mean we should waste this nice spacious limo." She saw Sam's smile become positively carnal, "Come here"

Their lips met and didn't part until Nicole dropped Sam off several hours and considerable dishevelment later.

The End

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